I WILL. I MUST.

I AM NOT ON FACEBOOK

I AM NOT PROCRASTINATING

I AM GOING TO GO AND TAKE A SHOWER

AND THEN DO MY HOMEWORK

I AM NOT LAZY. I AM NOT LAZY. I AM NOT LAZY. I AM NOT LAZY. I AM NOT LAZY. I LOVE DOING WORK. I LOVE DOING WORK. I LOVE DOING WORK. I LOVE DOING WORK. FRENCH AND CALCULUS IS BETTER THAN THE INTERNETS. I WILL FOCUS AND ACHIEVE EXCELLENCE THIS YEAR.

I LOVE SCHOOL I LOVE SCHOOL I LOVE SCHOOL I LOVE SCHOOL AND I LOVE BEING BUSY AND BEING HARDWORKING

I AM NOT LAZY

everything is subjective

It seems like a lot, if not all of the things in our world come by through our own perception. The way something looks, smells, feels, sounds... it's all perception. In fact, we have no way of knowing whether the colour 'red' we see is the same 'red' that any other person sees, just that that shade, regardless of how it looks to anyone, is known as 'red' to everyone... for all I know, your red could look like my blue, and all the natural colours I know may look completely unnatural to anyone else. It's a strange thought, but not implausible...

Likewise, everyone's opinions seem to differ on an emotional level, not just what we perceive from the physical world. Lately, I've found that the impression given off by any one person can differ A LOT depending on who I talk to... same person can warrant "yea they're pretty cool", "they're a gay cunt", "omg I love them they're so funny" and "I dunno, they're alright I guess" it made me realise that often it's impossible to get to know someone vicariously; one has to go and meet them personally and form his own impression of the individual in question. There's so much shit going around about people nowadays, I feel like no matter how much people go behind others' backs and tell me about all the stuff they've done and warn me about them, I'm still going to have to find out for myself in the end, making everything I've heard a waste of effort...

Personally I really think that if I listened to everything that people have told me about other people I would have lost hope in humanity by now. But it's true that there are always 2 sides to every story. Regardless of whether or not 1 side is exaggerated or not, every yin has a yang; no matter how dark something seems, there is always at least a little light in there as well. I feel like the role we played in a particular situation can influence our perception of said situation. We may choose to ignore the darkness, or be oblivious to the light.

I know it seems like I'm trying too hard to be objective, and the way I'm saying this is gonna make it hard to get anyone on my side, since I'm not actually on a side. But the thing is, I do form opinions about others as well... Sometimes good, sometimes bad. I recognise that sometimes I don't look at the full story, or try to kid myself into thinking one way about someone because it's just easier or more beneficial for me. That's just the way the world and humans are.

...I guess what I'm trying to say is that before you make any assumptions about other people, it's important to find out for yourself and not just take what others say for fact, because more often than not it's been tainted by their perception... Idk I guess this entry is a little redundant because it's something we all know already, just sometimes don't really put into practice... I just found it very relevant to my life atm.

Hope everyone's doing okay at school :] only 6 more weeks of school til easter holidays guys. hang in there!

"Nothing's beautiful from every point of view"

~ Horace, Roman Poet, 65BC-8BC

to live is to be mortal...

I just got told that my grandpa passed away at lunchtime today

...

It came down on me like a rock. The thing is, I wasn't even that close to him, but the realisation of how fragile a human's life is really hit home. We're going to the hospital to see him later... I can already imagine seeing him and bursting into tears. You think of how he's not in the same world as us anymore, how he never even gets to see anything that happens from now on. You think of all the times you spent together, however brief, and how that other person who was living, breathing, talking to you at that time is no longer alive. It's a warped and twisted feeling...

I think the last few months I've hardly even talked to him. All I've really done is help him put his pills into bottles, change the time on his microwave and clock when there was a blackout, pour him tea... Although I knew that he was unhealthy, I honestly thought that he would last a few more years at least... is death really that sudden? I still don't even know what he had. I don't know anything about his illness, only his diabetes. I have no idea what kind of medical procedures he's been through, even though he's been living in the same house as me for the past 10 years. Even though it's like a stranger who was living in my house passed away, the fact that I know he was my maternal grandfather makes me guilty about not being more interested in his life. I guess that's just one of the things death does to you...

I can't even begin to imagine how my mum feels right now. I'm scared... to know the brevity of a human life, and to know how fast time passes, and how suddenly this came about, I'm scared. I guess I really am afraid of death. Having never come across it before in my life, and having someone in my immediate family just... disappear... it's a real eye opener. I guess the whole concept of death is so much more real to me now...

I can't help but think how life has its ups and downs. It's such a pity that when you're on a down it feels absolute shit and you just want it to be over, but you know the worse is yet to come.

In the end, I guess it's true that good and bad are ultimately in a balance. On a fine summer's day like this, something like this could happen... I guess the rain around 12.30 today wasn't so meaningless after all.

Our time certainly is finite.

new layout etc etc etc

yup new layout. let me know what you think :] this one was fun to edit.

will do a real update tomorrow (i'm gonna edit this one, so don't look out for a new post). gonna go sleep now zzz

EDIT: LOL I'm sorry, I totally forgot to update yesterday and just remembered. I just did 30 push ups (not at once tho lmao) :D my back and abs are sore... i'm weak xx

mm, today's entry will be about foods that winnie likes :] I guess I'll list some of the foods which I think taste good NO MATTER HOW THEY'RE COOKED. (or at least, most of the ways in which they're cooked). So, without further ado... let's find out my culinary interests :]

5) Garlic. I think garlic is like the universal flavouring... it seems to go well with anything @_@ (ofc excepting cake and the like). I lovee the taste of garlic, especially with vegetables :] But there's also in chilli & garlic sauce with noodles, garlic & ginger dipping for chicken, etc.. garlic is so versatile. Not only the above, but it can also be used to ward off vampires. Actually other things similar to garlic that I also like are onions, spring onion, and chives. Yeah, any of the above are good flavour boosters. I like to eat spring onion while I'm cutting it as well...

4) Coffee. Yes... apparently I'm a caffeine addict TT. Seriously, whenever I get home, I get myself a mug of hot coffee and eat it with biscuits. I like the kind of bitter but sweet taste. Cappuccino I guess is the best. Mochachino is good as well, but sometimes a bit sweet for me haha... Still haven't tried very many types of coffee, but I know long/short blacks are wayyy too bitter for me lol. Actually every time I go to newmarket now and my bus is late I like to go to Michel's patisserie and get an ice coffee. It's a pity that mcdonald's doesn't do ice coffees in nz ): I got hooked when I went to america. Apart from that, I think it tastes really good... My 2nd favourite type of ice cream has become cappuccino D: I'm a coffee addict. Coffee can also taste good if you sprinkle it over ice cream, like with milo :] That said... coffee cakes *___* and the smell of coffee is just like heaven hahaha.

3) Chicken. Do I really have to say anything more? bbq chicken, marinated chicken, roast chicken, fried chicken, nuggets, chicken soup, chicken pie, chicken flavoured shapes... it's ALL GOOD. chicken is so damn tasty. my parents used to say that I was a cannibal because I'm born in the year of the chicken and love eating it lol. EVERYONE TASTES LIKE CHICKEN, AND WITH GOOD REASON.

2) TOFU. :] I love tofu! Actually last time at Karl's birthday party at karaoke everyone ordered like chicken kidneys, chicken wings, beef, fried squid and stuff and I ordered tofu :D everyone thought I was vegetarian at first and I had to explain that I just really like tofu... >>; I think tofu tastes good no matter how you make it. I really like spicy fried tofu with like chilli and spring onion etc, mapo tofu, and that really nice tofu pudding you get at chinese restaurants (豆腐花) and it's like with sweet ginger sauce... sooo nice :] tofu is amazing!! and not just for vegetarians haha

1) EGGGGG. Egg is the most versatile ingredient. You can eat it by itself (scrambled, steamed, hardboiled, poached, softboiled, fried, omelette, protein shakes etc etc etc), use it for more complicated recipes (cakes, french toast, quiche, pancakes, egg tarts, egg SOUPS lol) and it's delicious!!! I really love that cantonese dish where you just put a raw egg over the whole thing and mix it in with the rice. builds strong muscles too (yea i need it to be buff)... not even only chicken eggs either, duck eggs are salted and go really well with congee. whenever my mum gets salted duck eggs I don't drink milk for like a whole week and have congee for breakfast instead hahaha if that's some indication of how much I love eggs XD also fish eggs; caviar is popular with higher class people right? me and my brother always fight for the eggs of the fish when we have it lol it's like the best part of the fish. I feel sorry for people who are allergic to eggs @_@ and I could never turn vegan, I love milk and eggs too much hahaha. -consumer of animal produce-

well yeah... I think I'm hungry or something right now ==; (o really winnie, what gave you that idea?)

string cheese

Humans' lives are a lot like strands of string. They run parallel to one another along a long surface, representing time.

Ceaselessly, these strings touch or become close together, symbolic of a person passing others along the road, or people coexisting within the same neighbourhood. Most of the time, we don't pay much mind to these types of people since they're more or less strangers to us.

Very often however, two strings may become entwined for a second, representing the people we contact but never quite get to know, for example the librarian who checks out our books for us, or the starbucks worker who provides us with our green tea frappuccino.

Less often, but still fairly commonly, strings become loosely entwined for a long period of time; these would be our acquaintances, friends we don't know well, teachers, employers... but more often than not, eventually the strings will set off in separate directions after a while together.

Closer friends are like knotted strings... like a pair of earphones left in one's pocket, close friends have spent a lot of time together and know each other very well because they have had the time to better understand each other. But also, like the pair of earphones, these types of knots can eventually be undone.

The strongest types of friendships are the ones that last through life... the 'true' friends. Like the force required to tie a dead knot between strings, effort is required to create these types of friendships as well. We have to put care into preserving the friendships worth keeping, maybe reinforce the shoelace several times to ensure that it won't come undone, in order to have friends for life.

Strangers in one's life are natural; they are all around us...

Brief contact with others is necessary in our lives as well, even if we never get to know the other person and, likewise, acquaintances are kept often even if we have only met the other person once.

People naturally become closer if they spend a lot of time together...

BUT

true friendships require effort from both sides. there is no such thing as a 'natural' friendship that lasts through life. only with care and love for other people can one keep these true friends; the moment someone loses interest, the friendship is gone as well... true friends these days are very rare. just ask anyone you know if they are still close to their 'best friend' from their elementary school days. their high school school days, even their college days. I predict that the answer will more likely be no than yes. that's why it's important to remember that if you value a friendship, it's important to value the person as well! :] let's all care for our friends the way that we would like to be cared for, for the rest of our lives.

140

^ look at my SAT vocab! :] I love how a book looks when you fill up every line with writing. makes me feel so accomplished.

anyway, these last few days have been pretty relaxing/tiring (oxymoron? well maybe...). Yesterday, our hot water cylinder blew up and got leaks in it and flooded our entire garage, so I had to like sweep out the water manually using a broom for like an hour before the hot water cylinder guy came = =; so stupid.. and so today we had no hot water in our house, cuz it's a public holiday and the plumber's gonna come tomorrow instead... so ofc I couldn't take a shower. I ended up having to go and use the badminton showers. So weird, like shampooing your hair and stuff in a public toilet hahahahah.. @.@ well hopefully it'll be fixed by tomorrow.

last night's tennis match was pretty cool. it was pretty obvious who was gonna win tho =P tbh I only really wanted fed to win so djokovic would become no 2 lol :] djokovic ftw. but, I was so tired yesterday cuz I went to play badminton before that I fell asleep during the third set.... I woke up around 1am and went to bed. I was still sleeping at 10.15 this morning when my dad so rudely woke me up.

today I drove by myself for the first time!* :D okay it was only like half a kilometre to mum's office. but I still felt accomplished. people giving me weird looks when I was trying to park though. I had to back out and go back in like 5 times =.= I think I suck at parking.

*no I haven't got my restricted yet but SHHHH...

tomorrow is ji's birthday gatheringggg~~ hopefully will be a lot of fun before school starts ^^ this summer's certainly been eventful...

i'm so bored

so yujie and steph suggested that I blog, but I cbs because then I actually have to think and type, and it's really hot and my computer is giving off heat atm (exothermic!) so my wrists are getting hot ):

yujie suggested that I reflect on these holidays. what have I accomplished?

1) sat my SATs on a SATurday (I'm lame, sue me)

2) broke up with will

3) pulled the first all nighter in my life, was completely out of it for ensuing days

4) got drunk, apparently (I beg to differ but majority rules)

5) was sad, happy, pissed off, stressed out... a lot of mood swings basically

6) covered some of the calculus course with kim :]

7) watched a lot of movies

8) had a primary school reunion, that was pretty fun

9) went out a LOT

10) had lots of FUN! :] and ready to start school again

ummm okay I guess I can elaborate? or something =__=

1) they were alright, not good not bad, I get my results back on feb 11th, the same day I have my next orthodontist appointment actually. the wires are starting to go into my cheek now =__= it's really annoying... I want my surgery already, I can't bite stuff with my incisors properly anymore ): okay wow off on a tangent. actually sunnii roh was sitting in front of me in the SAT, and it was in a lecture theatre so she was like BELOW me as well, so I could see her paper clear as day hahahaaha, but ofc they shuffled the sections so everyone had them in a dif order so I couldn't take advantage of that =P mannn that also means the average also got pulled up ==; not anticipating good results

2) speaks for itself. i'm totally over it i think. we're alllg I think. I'm pretty over relationships eh? feels good to be single again :] I can finally notice how hot guys are without feeling guilty again :]

3) yeah I was so out of it for the next few days... like sleeping 10 hours a night and stuff and feeling dead the whole day hahaha. but yea pulling allnighter isn't anything special, something to be avoided tbh. I don't understand the people who do it on will... I much prefer sleep >>

4) I resent this, was not drunk. anyway I calculated and 1/4 cup baileys is actually over 1 standard drink... but at the same time I won't deny that I'm a crap drinker haha

5) lonnng storryyy =___= I'm okay now (for the time being). well I certainly feel less alone anyway :] thanks to the support of many of my friends. I think I really learnt recently who I should go to for comfort and who to not bother talking to cuz they just make me feel worse...

6) We did quite a lot actually... well in most cases we got up to M questions and some E, and we didn't end up finishing integration (I'll look over it this weekend :]) but I've got a pretty good idea of what to expect in calc this year. as for schol.... yea I'm gonna die

7) well, I saw the vintner's luck, zombieland, 2012, new moon, this is it, avatar, sherlock holmes, the lovely bones in cinema... that's like... 90$ worth of tickets at least... x.x now I know where all my money went

8) it was fun assss~~~ it was so hot, we had ice fights and water fights hahaa and played touch for like 10 mins before just dying cuz of the heat... and we sent daniel off to get pizza and it took him like an hour (apparently he 'had to run some errands') all the teachers were having a meeting there too so we had some very short lived awkward convos with him hahaha. the oldest teacher there is 75 now! and still not retired @_@ we saw her driving away in the afternoon after the meeting... wtf in such good shape haha.

9) well yeah... I did. lemme check the stats... 32 days out of the house out of a possible 49... yes that's quite a lot lol >___<

10) YEA MAN IM TOTALLY READY FOR SCHOOL TO START ALREADY. holidays are dragging out a bit tbh. I wish I could just skip over these last days and add them onto my next holiday hahaha. if school started sooner the next holidays would start sooner too... here's hoping everyone had an awesome summer and is ready to start school again :] see you all back on wed!

updated.

I've been meaning to update for ages but never found the time, and I actually want to but I cbs right now and it's getting late and I'm tired, so I might update tomorrow morning when im not feeling so shit aye... look forward to it I guess =/

EDIT tues morning:

okay I lied, I forgot I was going out today so I'll update when I get back XD Seems like I'm procrastinatinggggg

EDIT tues evening:

mehhh. I was feeling pretty crap before. It seems like a lot of my close friends are just closer to other people now and i've been left behind =/ how ironic that the one with lots of friends isn't close to any of them... I talked to a few people, one of them gave me practical advice but did nothing for my emotions, and the other one directed me to starcraft 2 demos and assured me that he feels the same sometimes too, and that actually made me feel a lot better than real advice =_=

maybe it's all in my head, but I often feel like im not good enough for a lot of people. like im not smart enough, or pretty enough, or fun enough. lately I often feel as if I'm invisible, since I'm not really close to anyone and they have their own friends and inside jokes etc. it's true that it's hard to talk to a stranger when his best friend is with him. I guess other people are just better than me =/

I guess I sound like someone complaining about her life and I should really just stop whining and just go get friendly with people but I'm tired of just sitting back and taking everything. I'm allowed to whine sometimes too TT

WHAT IS THIS UNOVERCOMEABLE DESIRE TO BE LOVED

what's wrong with me

fml. gonna watch some more SC2 demos and listen to owl city. wish school would start already to give me some distraction to this shit

the afterlife

According to the dream I had last night, spirits that get sent up to the afterlife must have a density that is less than the density of clouds. I distinctly remembering at one point that I bounced off a cloud. The 'kingdom' up there resembles the forbidden city, and the ruler there is referred to by everyone as the King of Kronzel (BLACKBIRD, anyone? XD maybe an obsession seeped too far into my subconscious). He was dressed in ancient chinese emperor attire, with fancy hat and all. One of the king's well... apprentices? pageboys? was called Tobias. He was very mature for his age of 12. He was the only one who wasn't dressed weirdly, now that I think back... Just a white singlet and I dunno what pants he was wearing... WAS he wearing pants? I can't remember if he had legs. For some reason I thought he was my cousin who had died after I did o_o Humans still look like humans, except we have whispy smoky 'tails' as ghosts do (lolol I have such cartoonish dreams..)

One layer of clouds below the 'kingdom' (since we know that there are many layers of clouds, as one can observe when they go on a plane), there's a gatekeeper of sorts who determines who is meant to stay up in the kingdom and who's meant to go down to earth for a while (don't know why, maybe haunting duties hahahahaha). He's a dick. He actually PUSHED me off his cloud and out of his house so I fell all the way down to earth. I felt like an asteroid. For some reason though I KEPT FALLING, THROUGH THE EARTH AND OUT THE OTHER SIDE OF THE INNER CORE, and eventually ended up in the kingdom again haha. There are soldiers up there as well, I distinctly remember asking 2 young men for directions to the king's house. They were dressed like knights from the internet MMORPG ragnarok online and actually had legs.

Life was peaceful up there, I remember thinking just before I woke up that now I didn't have to be afraid of death, since I understood how wonderful and calm the afterlife is. What an empowering dream :] I wouldn't mind living in that afterlife.

EDIT: OH GOD I just realised how suicidal that last paragraph sounds HAHAHHAAHAH XD dw dw I will live my life to the fullest and THEN maybe enjoy this afterlife hahahah

I never expected it to hurt this much. I feel like it's only going to get worse for a while. But I have to tell myself that this decision was for the best. I'm sure that if I keep pushing forwards I'll come out of the raincloud and meet the rainbow at some point.

I don't know if I'm feeling regret or if it's just straight pain from a hard decision. I accept that things can never go back to how they were, or at least not for a while.

I realise that what we had was beautiful, and could have become even more beautiful, but I just ruined it because I'm a coward and seem to be afraid of beautiful things.

I do feel better being able to spill my feelings out like this, because my eyes are really tired from crying.

Hopefully we can both get over this eventually.

I'm not sorry.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010

TWENTY-TEN (not two thousand and ten, or two zero one zero, or two zero ten, or any of that retarded long winded crap) has arrived at last!!!

I have not slept for 37 hours starting from 7am Thursday 31st December 2009.

Woke up at 7am due to my crap old sony ericsson's alarm, and had to get to the bbq area in cornwall park at 9am to 'hog bbqs' with chen. I guess David didn't anticipate that everyone would want to use the gas bbqs and we were left with 5 free bbqs all to ourselves. During waiting, Chen and I witnessed a white guy drive his car into the parking lot, get out, look around conspicuously and then TAKE HALF THE FIREWOOD FROM ONE OF THE BBQS LOL. After loading it all into his boot, he just gets back in his car and drives away. Chen's thoughts: "That was SO ASIAN. and the guy was WHITE!?!?!!?"

mm, well when people finally arrived we had a bbq of course, took ages just to get the fire ready and had to go around finding something to start the fire ("a flint..?" "wait wtf. it's called a splint chen.") and had to go around and find an AXE... jono showed up in his like nissan 300ZX super decked out with huge speakers that u can see vibrate in the back and removable sunroofs, and we used that to annoy the hell out of everyone else in the park hahaha (which included, as we later found out, some of yujie's family friends). it was okay, the food was good, and after eating food there was a nissan march with a shark fin which was a kelly tarlton's car that pulled up in the lot and gave everyone free like... hat things? lmao, and u fold them around and one side is a shark and one side is a penguin. I was a penguin. kim was a shark. =P

jono's friends showed up in this beautiful nissan skyline. it was like. so shiny |: I only remember the driver was some buff asian dude in a tight yellow tshirt. I didn't care so much for him as his car omfggggg .... And then we did some random stuff cuz we got bored such as play a fail capture the flag, and then jeremy and david stuck yunbin's phone into a tree on the lower branch, and we all managed to convince him that it was up high, and he was looking up the entire time...

"SEE THAT LEAF? IT'S LIKE. RIGHT NEXT TO IT."

yunbin: "WHAT LEAF?!?!?!!"

"...you know, that green one!"

umm, that turned into just sitting in circles and talking, which resulted in games of snap and pulse hahaha. and then we just decided to leave~ The weather was beautifulllll, but it was a little cold.

After arriving at jamie's, I went to watch them practise with their band, ended up holding up davids folder and turning pages for him while he played his flute lol. they sounded really good! esp chen's singing, very impressive :] then they just gave up and chen started making dinner, and we all went down to the flat where gabby was embarrassed by her ex in the ags chronicle or something lol... I don't know, but there was a big chase during which jamie's yearbook was dented =P not to mention rose had drawn all over it in pen to label specific people... we had dinner, which was v nice. ty to chen and jamie's awesome parents :]

at 9.30pm, david set free the lantern that he worked so hard onn~~ and I helped with the calligraphy haha ^^ it was a surprise and it was good that it actually went up a bit, even if it fell down into the neighbour's house after it rose... it's okay, we got a few pictures and the neighbour's house was not set on fire. that's good enough I reckon. you can't think of it like your wishes going up and then crashing back down, you have to think of it like, you're sending your wishes up and the heavens are giving them back to you, ie. they will be granted :]

So, let's take a break in narration here to do some New Year's Resolutions!!

2009 resolutions:

1) stop slacking when it comes to your education - KIND OF. I have started studying for the SATs and am taking calc tutorials every monday with kim...

2) don't get distracted by stupid things - ??? still do this all the time =/

3) try new things - signed up for dragon boating next year, did debating & mediation

4) get better at old things - got better at badminton. (then got worse, but let's not go there)

5) take risks - TAKING ART AND NCEA. MIGHT NOT GET INTO AMERICAN UNI. D:

6) make new friends - lots and lots!!! tick ^^

7) get to know old acquaintances - same here~~~ tick

8) get hardout. im serious |: no more playing around, tiem to get serial about life. - ....I actually think I got more lax about life ):

So, this years NYRS???:

1) Do well on your SATs. I expect at least a 2200. Retake as many times as necessary.

2) Concentrate on school!

3) Don't ignore your friends and social life either!

4) Make the most of all the opportunities you've got in 6th form

5) Mature!!! Know when and how to handle different situations well etc.

6) Get more fit hahahaa

7) Be more independent :]

8) GET ENOUGH SLEEP

Yup I think that's a pretty good list for this year, I guess I'll review this next year this time then. Back to the narrative...

I got drunk (apparently). I still don't believe it, but I'm not one to judge since I don't know what it's meant to feel like >> I basically had like 1/4 cup of baileys mixed with milk, and I kept adding milk as I finished drinking. Anyway I ended up with a really red face and when hillie told me to get up and walk in a straight line I fell back on my chair >___> I still think that was my general lack of coordination though, but ofc people like to say that I was drunk... I could still see everything that was going on, still remember it lol and I could txt normally? Just, it felt really realy hot and like my heart was in my brain and my whole head was pulsing, and it felt like birds were flying around in my head. I drank 2L of water after that, and after a few trips to the toilet I was normal colour again and had a massive headache, so I had to have a panadol... in other words, I had like the LEAST amount of alcohol out of everyone who drank, and I had one of the most violent reactions. peanut had the same reaction as me, except she drank 1/2 cup baileys, like double the amount I had... I think that if I'd had as much as her, I would've seriously just been gone. verdict: winnie's alcohol tolerance is 0 and she will never drink again. >>

the rest of the night was a mix of GIRL TALK (with GIRLS, including will and david. =P) ie DMCs, playing singstarrr (funny story actually, I had 'never gonna give you up' stuck in my head all day today; it was like being rickrolled by myself...), and lol, eating? XD I don't really remember how all those hours passed by so quickly to be honest.

in the morning, everyone pretty much slept... I slept only for like 15 mins cuz jono was playing his weird sound clips on max volume next to my ear, apparently I slept through the lion king theme and the random mozzie sound, while david who was sleeping like 2m away was like twitching and could hear it hahahahaha... I sleep like a log..? but yeah I got woken up. it was pretty energizing for a 15 min nap though. the next 2 or so hours were spent harassing sleeping people basically. then we just had breakfast and bummed around for half a day, everyone half dead... couldn't get to sleep though for some reason. Played a few games of mahjong, won 2 lost 1, yea thats right beginner's luck every time I play cuz I forget how to play every time and have to be retaught hahaha =P so technically still a beginner..

after that, we decided to go down to the park to play basketball~! cleo got rejected by a little girl on the swing, and it was david, me & lucy against jono/jeremy/peanut or yb/wenzin/jamie which was uhh. a little unfair? david's advice: "JUST SLAP HIM!" I ended up doing that |: I'm sorry jono...

My grandpa got admitted to hospital last night because he was having breathing difficulties, he has too much liquid in his system and it's been sitting for a longer time than usual cuz dialysis is delayed due to public holidays =/ hope he turns out okay, that's not a very good way to start the new year...

Although, I can't believe today is new years. it just feels like a really long day for me lol... like, last night felt like new years cuz we were doing all the celebrations, but today is just like, "OMG. IM TIREDDDDD. CAN I SLEEP?"

...I have not slept for 38 hours starting from 7am Thursday 31st December 2009. I actually feel pretty okay in terms of energy levels, not too tired hahaha but i think my eyes are like a panda's... I guess I should actually get to sleep soon lol.

I'd like to say a massive THANK YOU to all my friends for being there for me this year, it's been great, I hope to go through BIGGER AND BETTER times with all of you in 2010!!! :] you've been there for me when I'm down to make me smile, sometimes when I've smiled you've come to make me sad, but then I try to convert some of my smile to you as well. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but we have to try since we're friends right? YOU'RE ALL AWESOME, I love you all equally ♥

ANYWAY, HAPPY NEW YEARS TO EVERYONE! hope you had an awesome first decade of the 21st century and let's all join together to make the decades in the future even more memorable!!!

MERRY CHRISTMAS :]

Yesterday was a beautiful day. I hope everyone had a good Christmas :] The beach was gorgeous, and the sand was uh. scorchingly memorable. =P like you could seriously see the heatwaves... i still have a gradient tan on my legs tho ): As you can see, we built an awesome couch out of sand and made our names with shells on the back like asians hahaha

On Christmas eve, I was supposed to go to sleep at 10.30 cuz I was gonna wake up at 6.30 the next morning, but ended up getting into a philosophical debate with karl so didn't get into bed til like 11.30. Then, as I was drifting off to sleep at last, it turned to midnight and I got MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! txts DDDD: so I was pretty tireddd... but last night was meannnn :] lucy came back!!! and I played guitar hero for the first time in my life. Easy mode is too easy, medium mode is too hard >>; figures. And we played snap, for the first time in my life i didn't end up losing, althought I do have a bruise on my hand haha. Loser of each round has to drink from a mix of juice and vinegar. makes your stomach hurt man... and then played singstar and hsm singalong haahaha got owned by chen for high school musical. too pro >>;

today? not so much... I woke up at 6.30 out of habit or something from yesterday. totally owned the whole day, had to clean windows for half the day and then go out to north shore where we tried to look for boxing day deals but there wasn't really anything that was worth it and that we actually needed =/ went to dinner with family friends and the adults as usual talked for ages so I was sitting there silently sigh. Their son is like 3 years older than me, 2nd year uni. We kinda used to be friends when we were all young and juvenile like 5 and 8 etc, but now looks like the maturity gap is too big haha =P

well, this has still been one of the best christmases I've ever had though. :] hope everyone's holidays are going good and everyone had an enjoyable noel!

MERRY CHRISTMAS AND HAPPY BOXING DAY 2009

roll on new years...

retail therapy

man, I was so bored today that I decided to go to newmarket and spend money. =P

it's the first time I've gone shopping in agesssssssss. feels good~ a lot of stores were having big sales for xmas. I managed to find a few tops at valleygirl and a dress at orange gal (seriously, what is it with incorporating some form of the word 'girl' into shop names)~ here's the dress ^^

went down from $99 to $39 *___* totally asian thrift shopping here lol. I wanted to find a nice pair of flats since I don't own any but is it just me or are all the flats on sale right now either ridiculously expensive or hideous looking? =_=

apart from that I couldn't find anything else worth it... spent $72.50 in total including bus fares and a nice ice coffee from michel's patisserie :]

maybe there'll be more sales for boxing day? :D

MY HOLIDAYS.

this is what it looks like right now. the red stuff is days im busy. lollllllll I'm SO BUSY. also the 20th IS meant to be crossed out for vicky's party. i just suck and forgot about it when i was doing this chart >>

today, I went to newmarket with timmy and his friends. he failed cuz it was meant to be yesterday and out of the 20 people invited, 4 people turned up. we sat around waiting to see if anyone else was gonna come for like an hour, and then walked around trying to find food cuz some people didnt have breakfast... and ended up in 277 where they ate, and then we went to smiggle and whitcoulls for like another hour. it was very carefree, and i liked it haha. like, we were standing in whitcoulls and someone asked "...weren't we gonna see a movie today?" "oh yeah at 12!" "it's 1.30 already.." hahahaah xD we ended up wating 2012. it exceeded my expectations and somehow kept me alert for 3 hours so I guess it's a success in my book. wish I coulda stayed longer but then i had to get picked up haha. also, the warehouse is having a perfume sale on selected perfumes. elizabeth arden's provocative woman 50ml is 35 bucks, in case laina's interested. we ended up buying a CK in2u lol. it smells okay i guess

monday's calculus class was quite fun. I learnt a lot, but I still don't know how to do some of my homework ): it's harddddd. and according to kim "trig is one of the easier topics" lololol. o well I think we're moving on to another topic next week so hopefully that'll be better >> but kim is a very good teacher! very patient and hardworking haha I think she spent more effort on the notes than I spent actually learning D:

mm xmas party was quite fun, you can read yj's blog about it haha, since I cbs repeating everything she said. I met a lot of people :] it was good. but now im pretty tired lol since I haven't had my 'rest day'. I have to have a day in between social outings to recharge and have some alone time >> I hope the orthodontist doesn't talk to me too much tomorrow.

xmas in the parkk && others

the fireworks were awesome!! here's a video taken by tony. I think there was actually another bit after that which was even bigger but he missed it cuz it felt like it was actually over. kind of like in a music piece when people start clapping after the end of a movement when the piece is actually not finished haha.

OH WAIT. here's the second part

all in all a pretty good day. I went to dymocks beforehand to get my prize book hahaha (yes, after prizegiving). I found that marcus chown wrote another book similar to "quantum theory will not hurt you" called "we need to talk about kelvin". So far he does not disappoint :] $5 well spent I think.

After that, I went to galaxy net cafe to watch tony/yb/david/jamie play what has to be the most intense game of dota I have ever watched. I think the game flipped like 3 times, at first david was owning and then the other team destroyed all their towers and invaded their town but somehow they turned it around again and ended up winning after 2 of the players of the other team ragequit and their throne was about to be destroyed when yb just yelled RUSHH AND DESTROY THEIR THRONEEE. and they ended up winning. close game :] it was actually pretty good to watch, like watching a movie.

then was dinner where I didn't buy anything and just scabbed off everyone else. I actually ended up pretty full. Feel kinda bad for tian but tony actually couldn't finish so I don't feel any guilt about eating his food... even tho he was pretty much "omfg gtfo"ing at me haha

there were lots of people at xmas in the park. we couldn't really see the stage but it's not like we were watching anyway hahaha I think the others played king while will, tony, hillie, tian and I were listing disney movies... and then we did some other random stuff after that that I don't remember. I saw hao and william from china camp again!! and then I stole william's glow stick but he came back for it half an hour later. XD

we almost got lost coming back but it was allll g. david drove me home and I had to lie about taking the bus that i'm pretty sure my dad didn't believe since he was standing in front of the gate the whole time and didn't see a bus lololol... my parents were trying to call me the whole night but due to crap reception and lots of people ended up in a bit of stress. oh well I don't care about that much, even though my mum kept going "come home now its too late" I wasn't gonna miss the fireworks for her D:

IT WAS WORTH IT IN THE END. LOOK HOW PRETTY THEY ARE.

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I also realised that I missed my blog's second birthday hahaha but yeah, my blog is now 2 years old! :] It's been a really long time since the days of bernie's emoing and my efforts to counter them haha but somehow these blogs continued to live on ^^

and my 11th year of school life has ended abruptly with an emotional prizegiving. I have to say it was the best prizegiving I've been to thus far (is it just me or did mrs robertson make more jokes in her speeches than she usually does?). let's hope our last days at school can be equally as awesome when we get there in 2 years' time!

ITS GONNA BE A HOT SUMMER GUYS. better make the most of it yeaahhhhh ^^ I'm gonna enjoy my summer, with the calc and sat classes. seriously though in between those im gonna try to party hard and make sure its a summer i dont regret. when new years rolls around it's time to make new years resolutions again and review the ones i made for this year... which btw I actually don't even remember anymore ):