missing you before I'm gone

Life changes in a matter of days. Well actually, I'm sure life itself has not changed much, but rather our perspectives of it. It did not hit me for a long time that I am leaving soon, so I put off packing my bags; perhaps I was in denial of my imminent departure. It is a strange kind of feeling, to know that in a week everything will change. I went through high school seeing friends off to Australia and America, but I never considered how exactly it would feel from the other side.

Random objects are strewn across all surfaces in my room, random objects which I must choose whether to take with me or leave behind. And if I leave them behind, when will I see them next? Or will they be one of those things that are lost between relocations? I have a lot of precious things that have no use for me in college, so I am leaving them behind. But, I am scared that they might go missing before I come back, and I don't know if I would even remember which boxes I put them in, or if I would even remember if such precious things exist. I think I will take a small box of the most important memoirs even though it doesn't serve any purpose other than safekeeping...

As I count down my last days, I am constantly reminded of how amazing those people around me are. I haven't taken pics of everything cos I'm lazy but here are just some of the things that made me cry hahaha (if you follow me on instagram you'll already have seen these...):






Among other things I received which I haven't taken good photos of yet, including a Salvatore Ferragamo keychain from Vicky, Walker&Hall jewellery from Laina, a book about the internets from Karl, winneeeee from Cleo, an illustrated noobs guide to cooking from Rose/Jisu/Suzie, University of Auckland jumper & winter gearz (gonna keep me warm in winter :3) from Gur/Johan/Daniel/Tanush/Eric, homemade soap from Shirley, lovelyyyyy notebooks from Wenbo, Will, and Cherry/Vicky/Cathee/Renee and about a million cards and notes and in Firip's case written statement at the back of a Whitcoulls receipt that I will keep for life cos they filled my life with happy and sad tears ;__;

Honestly...  U GUYZZZZZ ): I'm going to try to pack as fast as I can so I have more time to spend with you stupid tear-inducing people before I leave and don't see your face for 4 months. Even though I haven't known you all for very long, it feels like we've been friends for ages. Reading your thoughtful notes and cards, I was really surprised that I am so close to some of you who I only met this year. I hope that my absence won't degrade that haha cos I honestly wish I met some of you sooner so we could have had more time together.

As for you people who have had to put up with me for half your/my life -- YOU CAN'T GET RID OF ME THAT EASILY :P haha but honestly, thanks for always being there for me... sometimes when you spend a lot of time with someone you don't realise how close you become, how much you grow to care for them and how much you actually love them. Because it's not that you took them for granted, you just never expected to ever have to leave them. This hit me like a fridge falling from the sky and I never, never want to lose you, no matter through thick or thin or all the water across the Pacific Ocean.

In the end, I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'm tired and barely had 5 hours sleep last night and I couldn't get back to sleep so I decided to write this up because it was on my mind. My brain is fuzzy from the love I have for you my dear friends, I hope you're happy ♥

nineteen

Well it's that time of the year again. The time to blow out my candles and make my wish, which is normally the same every year and always comes true. Okay actually it was yesterday and I was going to blog but in the end I didn't cos I was replying to everyone's comments. I didn't expect so many people to comment on facebook this year since I took my birthday off but I guess after 1 person starts the chain there's no escape hahaha. It's very interesting how social networking affects virality. I enjoyed replying to everyone and leaving messages for people who I don't see often :)

I can't remember ever feeling super different following a birthday, but every so often I do self reflections and something in my life seems to change even if it isn't something tangible. A year ago, I had gotten into a new relationship and was thinking about it quite immaturely, nothing had really come together and I was just doing things in the moment. Two years ago, I was really surprised by how many gifts I received from friends -- I remember walking to EGGS for extrav practice and people waiting there with their cards and presents. This year was, in comparison, relatively low key compared to the last two haha. I did not receive many gifts but I was still really surprised by what I did get :O (a pandora ring from Yujie, a swarovski necklace and some money from my aunt and uncle)... then I had dinner with my family and cake as per tradition :) It was an enjoyable day despite the horrible weather.

Compared to a year ago, I guess I have to say I have matured a lot. So many things have changed in the last year, even though turning 18 felt like a day ago. It has been both an extremely eventful and quick year to pass. I feel like there's so much I've learned, yet at the same time I'm not sure if I'd apply the newfound wisdom if the opportunity arose. Maybe that's the next step haha. One foot in front of the other taking one step at a time :)

Maybe I'll post a present haul sometime, after my ring comes in either next week or this week. Had to go get it resized and they had to order a special shipment cos they don't stock rings for small hands like mine ):

oh life, the most variable and constant thing of all...

I have been wanting to make this blog for a long time but due to moving around very frequently and lack of internet I never really found the time.

I'm in Taipei at the moment at the DongWu Hotel; we flew in on Tuesday from Hong Kong and before that I spent 2 days at my grandparents' apartment in Guangzhou.

I used to visit Guangzhou with my family every 2 years or so and I used to think it was an overurbanised, overly-grey concrete wasteland. However, as I grew up, I somehow started learning things and becoming inspired whenever I go back to visit. There is just something irreplaceable about a hometown, albeit one that I can barely remember. The important thing is the tiny snippets of memories that flood back to me when I stand at the physical locations of my childhood -- the shop where I bought small mantou snacks next to our house, the paved courtyard of the kindergarten where I would wave goodbye to my grandmother every morning and make her promise that my grandfather would pick me up in the afternoon on his bike (very important, I would be deeply saddened if he showed up without a bike), the commercial sector of town where I would go shopping with my grandmother and politely go with her choices of clothing which would always end up making me look like unicorn's vomit.

It is a wonderful coalescence of the past and present.

I found my uncle's old diaries lined up neatly on his shelf. I picked a blue one up -- 1986. 7 years before I was born. It was so menial -- date, weather, temperature, recount of the day's events. Twice a week, consistently, for a year. The writing reached just halfway through the notebook; the rest of it was blank. And then 1987 began -- a green notebook. It's amazing to think that at the time it was written, there was no such thing as internet or personal, affordable computers. The everyday events in that notebook were so ordinary and yet, from the perspective of our society, so extraordinary. Nobody would lead such a boring life! This is why I find it amazing. Although at that time it was just a way for him to write down and record events in his life and to spend time on when bored, its sheer age makes it so precious today; I felt as if the paper could disintegrate in my hands and cherished history crumble forever.

The room where the diaries sit is a record of my uncle's life. Outside of the shelf, there is a large stack of WoW giftcards. A large frame containing his wedding photo hangs above the bed and a gigantic teddy bear sits before the pillows. There are many shelves in this old apartment room, as he has since moved out. The older ones contain his old bug collection and holiday photos with his friends -- I see my twenty-year-old aunt in a group photo in Tibet; the first time they met. The newer cupboards had the inescapable essence of woman -- my aunt's jewellery, her perfumes, her makeup. It's amazing to see how life can change.

This time, since I was only staying for a short time, my uncle took half days off work to show me around the city. I always found it so interesting how my uncles are always so friendly and familiar with me even though I barely talk to them normally. But as I flipped through the old photo albums, I saw myself a small-potato-sack-sized baby in my uncle's arms. The date read September 1993. I was 2 months old -- my uncle looks almost identical to how he is today, minus a few white hairs. It's interesting how quickly things can change. I flipped another page and saw a family photo with all my cousins. 2002. In just 10 years between 1992 and 2002, my family grew by 4 children, all of whom the adults loved dearly. I was the first, though perhaps not necessarily the first to realise how amazing the potential of the present is; what we do now will certainly determine where we end up later. And it is this unknown that is so beautiful.

More travel updates soon maybe. I felt inspired at some point but no time/energy to turn inspiration into words ):

From beginning to end of high school.... part 3

And then... this year.

I grew closer to so many people this year that I never knew before. Everyone is so friendly and warm, and staff members treated us like peers. It is an environment that promotes community and natural maturity. I love being able to sit down and talk with anyone in the year 13 uniform and have a chat. I love being able to pass them in town or newmarket and wave and smile, even if we don't share any classes or if we have never talked previously. There's just something about STCC that ties everyone together, and there are no ulterior motives, or reasons, why I would want to say hi to someone I barely know. I just do it because I want to. Plus, this year made me feel like I grew up so fast, I didn't have time to look where I was going or take care with where I was stepping. But, all turned out well.

What an awesome year it's been. It's been such a different experience than previous years; like a roller coaster ride, it's gained its own momentum and events just stacked up week after week, day after day, and before we knew it we are here -- at the final stop on the train schedule. It's been a long ride, but it's time to get off the train now and make our ways up from the underground subway station into the busy world, our feet firmly planted on the ground and only the empty sky above us containing our growth.


Subway Entrance by Themeny

Walking out of school today in my white shirt and long skirt, knowing that it's the last time we will ever wear them, was a strange experience. I will never walk into the school as a student again. It's time to put away our 'mauve' ribbons forever. I will never have to address my teachers as 'Mr.', 'Miss' and 'Mrs'. I will again never be constrained into the "St. Cuthbert's Student" suit, and yet I will miss it.

I will miss the traffic jams between Hunter and Robertson, I will miss Mrs. Ali's unreadable handwriting, I will miss intruder drills where we all hide under the desks, I will miss the THUDs from Mr. Torrie running into walls in adjacent classrooms, I will miss Cheeky's perfectly-timed wolfwhistles, I will miss Mr. Cuer's bright turquoise shirt and lunging at the whiteboard waving markers, I will miss Mr. Bryden's lying about making all the physics equipment, I will miss Mr. Ball's dry jokes, I will miss Mrs. Saunder's kitten heels, I will miss wobbly desks in exams, I will miss the "draw a heart/smiley/elephant if you are bored" engravings on tables, I will miss badly timed fire drills and having to walk with disgruntlement all the way over to the sports field, I will miss waiting for year 9s to pass with their house bags, I will miss seeing Gabby's face all around the school on Open Day, I will miss Mrs. Rodgers writing on the wall in Year 10 and telling Ruby not to talk back, I will miss wheelie chairs in the art department and I will miss the (questionable presence of) fleas in the common room and I will miss getting up early to ensure parking on market road every morning and I will miss Zoe running into me in corridors and Marijke playing shooting games in English class and Steph JY punching my boobs (okay I just realised how amazingly lesbian that sounded and I apologise for any awkwardness but in my defence you are the one punching my boobs), but most of all I will miss everyone for all their eccentricities and awesomeness and presence around me...

I think it's true, not many people graduating from their high schools would have had the experiences we have had, and we have been giving such amazing tools and background for our future. I can be anything I want now, and yet under this paralyzing freedom I don't know where I will go or what I will do, and I can do nothing at all for the time being.

I require time to get a sense of my bearings, which hopefully this long summer holiday will provide.

Being vomited out of the subway station now, we see an intersection. Roads in every direction, people scuttling past -- which road will you choose to travel on? Retracting back into the security of the warm subway is the only option our freedom doesn't grant us; life is a one way train, and we did not think to buy return tickets before we came.

pot luck #4

It's been a long time since I've updated properly and there's been a lot of stuff that's happened that I wanna talk about and blog about but just didn't get the time/motivation to actually do it, so I guess this is gonna be a pot luck post.

for any new readers of my blog POT LUCK is the series of random posts I do from time to time with little things that I think of that aren't big enough to warrant their own posts, + anything else random that may come up at the time.

Well firstly, last night was grammar ball :) I had a pretty good time, although time seemed to go by quite fast and I can't even remember what I actually did to pass so much time because we weren't dancing for long lol... slept at 9.30 this morning, woke up at 1.30 in the afternoon. ughhh so fucked. almost lost all of my voice, sore throat, blocked nose..... omg so sick ):

hehehe love you yujie.

I have also recently learnt a lot about people? or something like that. Anyway on Friday morning I was reading an old email from an old friend and it made me realise something -- the odd thing is, I'm not exactly sure what I realised, but it made me feel good. Then more recently I was just thinking and I realised some more things, of which I am also not sure of the specifics. I guess it's like, thinking about why people do the things they do, and how their emotions really do dictate their actions. But then, many people hide their feelings really well. I'm someone who wants to know what people are thinking, and most of the time I think I can get pretty close on the superficial level, but for the deeper emotions it's harder to understand; there are lots of people I see where I just can't get what's happening in their heads when they do the things they do. It may be to do with a lack of consistency (but all humans exhibit all actions to some extent anyway), but I'm starting to question whether on the fundamental level everyone is the same.

I'm just going to take the example of sexual attraction here. When you're little, you tend to like 1 person and tease them or however primary school kids show that they like someone else. When people find out, they will tease you about that person all the time. But sexual attraction is not limited to 1 person at a time; it's more common that you will like more than one person at once. This I know is universal. But what differs from person to person is what they choose to do with these separate attractions I think... that's what I find interesting to observe. You get the players that just try to go for everything they want at once, or those who choose to ignore some of their attractions and just go for the one they like the most (although sometimes this isn't possible because you can't choose), or those who keep oscillating or those who decide to not do anything at all. Actually I'm not sure if many people even realise that they subconsciously are attracted to so many people... well I for one am willing to admit it at least :/

Another reason I find this point interesting is the question of what's worse -- cheating emotionally vs cheating physically. Personally I think that cheating emotionally is 'worse' in the sense that it hurts more, but I also find it more understandable, because it's natural to like someone else and you can't really control your emotions, and if you cheat physically it's like you don't respect the other person enough to actively go out of your way to cheat on them, so that's 'worse' in the sense that the person who does it is a douche. actually after I asked this question on formspring, most people didn't give a definitive answer because both are bad. interesting.

And that also made me question, what makes people like people more and more? Something I still haven't answered. But if feelings are so ubiquitous and spontaneous as they seem, then maybe nothing means anything. But I'm sure that some people's feelings must be stronger than that... deep love must have some kind of foundation... mmmm well I'm currently falling in love with a certain amazing guy (: and I'm finding as time goes on the more I forget about the instinctive attractions... so i'd like to know that there's some meaning in that at least.

and wow it's been like 2 hours and I still haven't written that much hahahaha fail... keep getting distracted by msn facebook and google+ and testing chen's program for photo uploading onto it. it actually works pretty well, chen's amazing.

did you guys ever realise that the economy is restaurant city is retarded? there's a barter system where every ingredient is apparently worth the same amount (eg. water is the worth the same as lobster)which is like, 4000-7000 bucks on the ingredient market, apparently the same cost as half a roof and several tables and chairs. then again, dishes last infinite time so you could say a lifetime's supply of those ingredients would be on average 10x4000=40000 gold (levelling the dish to level 10) -- but each dish sold is only worth 2 gold, so that means a lifetime's supply of ingredients = 40000/2 = 20000 = 20000 dishes must be sold to earn back what you spent on that dish. HOWEVER, I guess it's true that you do get a free ingredient every day... which also makes no sense because in life nothing is free apart from the air we breathe :/ I also can't believe that a table is worth 1200 gold in this game. that's 600x more expensive than a dish of food. I mean the average meal I eat is 10 bucks, so that's like saying a table should be worth 600x10=6000 dollars in real life. NOOO WAYYY..... ok rant over lol, this game's economy makes no sense.

watch this!!!! it's so cool :)

unfinalised fantasies

So today I logged into msn and saw one of my contacts listening to "suteki da ne" from final fantasy x. I actually thought wow, it's been ages since I've listened to that. So I went on youtube and youtubed it... and boom nostalgia.

Some backstory. Around about year 5, I went through this obsession with final fantasy. It was around the same time that x-2 came out. the funny thing is, despite this obsession, I never actually played it. The only ff game I have ever played is the original ff7, which I didn't actually play until about 2 years ago & I have not even finished. It's really strange that something that didn't really take up a huge part of my life can affect me so much, isn't it? At that time I knew all the main characters' names from VII to X, listened to the songs and at some point even started conversing to another friend who was as obsessed as me in Al Bhed. I drew a lot of fanart and read a lot of fanfiction... I remember distinctly going into EB games once and seeing the release manual for X-2 and wanting it so badly...

Wtf was wrong with me you ask? I don't know. I just remember it was somehow a big part of my life at some point. And watching that video just brought back all the memories and I felt something in my heart. I was watching it and thinking how most people have never heard of it. How most people will see it as just another video game. I wonder if playing it would have done that for me too? Final Fantasy is so much more than just that for me though. It represents a part of my childhood and is just special to me, for no particular reason or another that I can remember, even though I never even played it. Isn't that weird? Yeah, it means more to me than to people who have actually had it take up more of their lives.

And actually it's not just this song. It seems that most FF songs, whether it be instrumental or sung, just have that effect on me. They're just heartbreakingly beautiful. I really don't know any other way to describe them. I'm serious, my heart actually hurts when I listen to them. I never had this experience with feeling so strongly when listening to any piece of music before.

There is just some kind of ethereal quality to them. I remember at that time when I was obsessed with it it was just taking over my life. I don't remember it clearly either, which is maybe why it seems to be such a big deal in my head. If I think about it now, it's totally illogical. Life is set in reality, not in a video game. What made it so powerful for me? Perhaps my then still idealistic visions of life and love? Is that part of me still buried somewhere deep deep inside? Regardless, watching that video and listening to that song that is so sweetly familiar and yet so distant... my past was still able to brush against my heartstrings.

It's not often that I'm hit with a wave of nostalgia strong enough too feel like the wall of ignorance fell over my head. And I just find it somewhat interesting that it's this of all things, which was never a formal part of my life at all that had this effect. Like in its own story where in a last ditch effort to save their company, Square Enix poured all their resources into a game that would be their 'final fantasy' (and it was wildly successful and has spawned to this day over 12 sequels), the fantasy I had in my youth is seeming to go on after being pretty much forgotten for all these years. Despite how much I've grown and 'matured' (if you can consider it that?), something as simplistic as this video game that I have never even played can make me experience something so amazing.... the fantasy is obviously not over.

But then, perhaps it ought to stay that way? We all still need a little bit of idealism in our lives.

SO PRETTTYYYYY.......... square enix is amazing ):

guy fawkes + nothing much

Well guy fawkes was pretty fun. Although it was dark as hell on Mt St. John and for like half an hour I thought yunbin was there since there were so many ppl and then later I was like o.o where did yunbin go jamie was like.... he was never here.... hahahaah im noob. Didn't get home til like 11.45... but I got some nice shots (: along with about 200 shots of nothing

I really like watching fireworks. It's so pretty @_@ And for some reason I'm not really scared to stand close to it... it's probably bad. But something that pretty can't be bad :P haha that's a terribly judgemental thing to say, since from childhood we're always taught that pretty things are good and ugly things are evil (snow white, etc etc), but in real life ppl often think that pretty girls are dumb/bitches and smart girls are all ugly. There's a kind of incongruity there actually. I don't really know where it came from, I guess people think you can't have everything in the world? But some people actually do :P lucky them.

But I digress, I'll rant about that another time. Seeing the city lights over a mountain while fireworks are coming out of random backyards is really a breathtaking experience. As someone who hasn't really done fireworks before (k like a few sparklers but nothing big), I was really captivated. I think watching fireworks is more enjoyable than letting them go yourself (: It's so pretty~ A lot of people find them annoying at night because they can't sleep but I like to stay up and just peer out the window for ages, watching sparkflowers blossom in the black abyss that is the night sky. It's something that gives you hope, almost.

All architecture is great architecture after sunset; perhaps architecture is really a nocturnal art, like the art of fireworks.
~Gilbert K. Chesterton

d20/d21

DAY 20: Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.

K bro I'm not even in a relationship right now haha, so if I'm gonna marry someone I'd either not know them yet or it would be someone I currently know it would be awkward to say since we're not in a relationship HAHA. Hm... let's be srs. I see myself with a hot nice rich guy. That's all we ever want =P

DAY 21: A picture of something that makes you happy


♥ Hillie :) hahaha all you need is a little love~~ & nice weather

SEVENTEEN.

^Kay so actually I did this on my letter for lucee on her 17th but still =P serves its purpose here haha.

I'M SEVENTEEN OMFG... I'd just like to say a huuugeeee thanks to all the people who wished me a happy birthday :] made me feel so special today and loved!! Here's the gifts I've gotten so far~~~ (some of them probably not to do with birthday at all, but gifts around this time will all be regarded as birthday presents XD)

^from tony from shanghai~~~ ♥ it's one of those popobe bears, in the design of winnie the pooh~ :)

^more overseas souvenirs!! dior eyeliner (:O so good) & candy from harrod's department store from england from david, a bracelet from peru from harim, and an ARTBOOK of Renoir's landscapes from the NATIONAL GALLERY in england from chencake @__@ thanks sooo much~~~ ♥

^FOOD =P a bar of dark chocolate toblerone that got beaten around in my bag today from steph, and cinnamon cookies than tian made ♥ so nice! albeit a bit hard XD but they last longer cuz of that hahaha

^a clear umbrella from steph~~~ :]]] thanks so muchh ♥ now I won't get wet in the rain again hahaha

^two twin bears of FERRARI brand :O from london, from chencake ♥ and a middle random bear with a rainbow nose from will ♥ thanks guys~~~ haha bears ^^

^a bookmark and a really pretty keychain/phone charm from melody in christchurch! I was sooo surprised when I got home today and found a letter in the mail ♥ ♥ ♥ such good timing!!! thanks so much ~~

^and here are the cards I got!! left to right: will ("to a person who is witty, charming, suave, super-fit... [inside] ...I'm sorry I can't keep a straight face any longer! Ha, Ha Ha Ha. Happy birthday!" in addition to this he didn't even take it out of the shrink wrap and write in it. and then LATER, he even asked me if I could do him a favour and write in it for him. LOL.), tian (HB 17 HB... this has to be the nerdiest card I have ever gotten. thanks a lot tian =P), chencake (sooo cute~~~ bear design ♥), tina (awww this card made me feel so special :)), shirley ("bee happy!" aww I was so surprised when I came into calc and she gave me a card :) haha felt loved), steph (winnie the pooh, with masses of writing inside =P love you mom ♥) and in front is melody's letter :) such cute stationery~~

Anyway today was so nice, even though I did nothing really that exciting. When I came into school, there were all these balloons around with poems on them to celebrate poetry day, but couldn't help but feel like they were for me as well =P yeah I'm self centered, what can I say? 2 of my classes sang me happy birthday (french and physics, and in french they actually sang it in french :]), YJ and steph wrote me a happy birthday wish on the poetry wall, and I got lots of nice food from my friends~~ after school I went to eggs and helped out with backstage and I had lots of fun there as well ^^ even though terry and will were bullying me ): I helped them paint a door! :D so proud haha.

and then, when I came home, I had 80 emails from facebook with happy birthday comments~~ I felt so fuzzy inside ^^ and more came later this evening!! I took the time to say thank you to each and every one of them :]]]

thanks soooo much to everyone for making today so special ^^ I'll post again when/if I get more stuff =P

DOUJIN OVERLOAD 2010 + ball

As always, you can click the photos to enlarge them lol.

So here's my haul for DO10 :] Too bad I couldn't sell, there were so many talented artists though and honestly I would have been VERY overshadowed hahaha XD My wallet is empty now... ):

:O Where to start. K from the white book on the top left -- Hiyaku Studio's artbook for 2010. So amazing, as expected of them =P I got them to sign it too ^^ and it came with 5 free bookmarks~~ Right of that, the black book is a sketchbook by Helen Meng, below that is the red artbook from M.A.S.S (Marxwyn, aiki-ame, SoNata, Sammy Joe), Below that is a little bookmark by Rebecca, the jolteon was a free gift from EQ (HEARTSSS), the pedobear sticker, grimmjow and kuroshitsuji are by Miggu, the cute little bookmark with gintama on it was a freebie, but I can't remember who from ;___;, beside those are transparent Reno and Vincent bookmarks from Lily/Jessica (not sure who hahaha sorry), the two charms on the bottom (Kay and Ema, from Ace Attorney/Investigations) are by Nicole :] so cute~~ oh and there's a mudkip keychain by Pauline there that I got for terry as well, since he couldn't make it. as for the posters, the blue awesome one on the top next to the books is my gift for Will's birthday, by Ichikaseto, who also did the poster on the lower left. On the same table was the poster on the lower right, by matsuo-lenn. The poster on the right of Howl is by Pauline :D and I got her to sign it too. hahaha such talent in NZ~~ Well, I didn't spend as much money as I did last year, but still spent a hell of a lot... but that's cuz I couldn't afford to either haha. -broke-

This is what my walls look like now...

^my drawings... minus the poster of aiba hiroki on the right lol.

^the main wall hahahaha

^kay that last one isn't so full =P I guess that's where new posters will go haha.

If you calculated the cost of all those posters + art tuitions I paid, the paper on my walls would be worth like at least $500...

Anyway last night was also ball~~~ It was so fun, even though all we did really was dance talk and take photos and get blisters on our feet and freeze while waiting for the taxi hahaha. Look at the pretty invites @___@ the paper is shiny~~

Yeah, "Wei Wu & Yufei Chen"... our ticket looks so asian hahahaah. Still waiting for the photos to be uploaded :D Well first ball experience has been positive!! :] I stole someone's tophat. I think it belongs to a year 13's date hahaha... but it's such a cool hat DDD:

Thanks to everyone who made last night awesome ♥ wouldn't have been the same without you :)

David & YJ's 18/17th :]

:]]] yup, last night was david & yujie's 18th/17th birthday party respectively. Ignoring some technical details such as my not giving yj's present to her til later, and david leaving his own party and us forgetting to give him his present before he goes to vienna for the holidays...

Please excuse any noob typos in the following post, I slept total ~1.5 hours between 6.50am yesterday and now :/ Haha in a way I guess it parallels the start of the year, marking the beginning of the 2nd half of the year =P term 2 is over!! Just have to get nose into work in term 3 and then totally pwn my externals now.

So... I showed up, and there were 8 laptops on the table. Guys were crowded around playing dota... at a party... WOW I HAVE SUCH GEEK FRIENDS :] it's great. Oh but Sunny was playing ice cream factory on neopets XD And we just bummed around for a while, watched a tiny bit of mulan, but then david came with KFC... so naturally we ran to the kitchen and devoured it :] and there was sushi and char siu.... such nice food D:

Some other stuff happened and I'm too tired to remember, but we watched ANTM and Glee? And people were playing mahjong, and we took photos, and I recall jamie giving me his finished smirmoff bottle so I could fill it up with L&P :]]] which yj spiked with envy... and david tried to take from me to fill up with the hard stuff. BUT I RESISTED. I DIDN'T HAVE ANY ALCOHOL THE WHOLE NIGHT. :]]]] and I felt so good about it in the morning when everyone had headaches and jamie was throwing up. Tipsy yujie is so funny XD

oh and there was an epic battle over a pooh bear. which was rightfully mine...

Watched the soccer at 2-3.30am, it was pretty interesting actually, from the perspective of someone who has never watched a soccer game before in her life. Slept through the ghana vs uruguay one in the morning though hahaha.

OH! and we watched the hunchback of notre dame and the little mermaid~~~ never watched them before :] quite liked notre dame, the music is soooo epic... disney is amazing D:

...fail I can't remember anything after that. we took photos? umm... and I watched tony play battlefield for a while, and then fell asleep. and in the morning, i had breakfast, and then sat around bored and facebooked, and then fell asleep. and then woke up and helped with the cleaning til i got picked up.

wow actually according to my memory we didn't do much last night. hahaha, i guess it's just being with everyone that makes it fun :]

anyway, big happy birthday to YUJIE and DAVID, @DAVID have fun in Vienna, gl with IYPT, pick up hot swedish/chinese/austrian/w/e-takes-your-fancy girls, hope you get your present before you go hahahaha, and @YUJIE hope your headache got better, try not to get drunk/tipsy/whatever you want to call it again, and hope you have an awesome 17th, and I will give you your present later in the holidays when I see you ♥

giving up, I can't think.

[EDIT] AND happy birthday to jamie c for 1st of july ♥ sorry for forgetting DDD: I'M TIRED -excuses- and a happy 89th anniversary to the communist party of china for the same day =P

Why I Blog

In response to Zelin's latest post about why people have blogs, I decided to make an entry about why I personally chose to start blogging and why I have continued ever since.

I have actually had a blog far before using blogspot. I had a livejournal since about mid-2006 I think, when I was going through my prince of tennis obsession phase. Actually I'm sure that I started my livejournal while I was on a holiday in Melbourne because I was bored at the motel. I met a girl from my school while I was using livejournal (small world huh.), as well as other people from around Auckland who I have kept in touch with ever since. To be honest I didn't really post much on my livejournal, just rants and random fangirling and quizzes and memes. However even back then my blog was called Tori no Tsubasa. Livejournal was more than a blogging site though: it was a treasure trove of resources where manga and asian magazine scanners and translators congregated together. That was the reason I stayed on livejournal for a long time instead of moving to xanga or any of the other alternatives.

My blogspot had humble beginnings; at the end of november 2007, my friend Bernie had a blog and was always venting her negative feelings. Which is fair enough, but I decided to make a blog and post happy things to counter them so I could make her smile when she was sad. My first entry turned out to be more or less of an event recount (you can still go back to see it if you want haha, I never delete entries for a reason I will discuss later).

After I made that post, a few of my other friends started blogging on blogspot, so that kept me here. The reason I didn't update my lj so much before was that there wasn't really anyone reading my posts. I guess that's a factor of blogging too; although I say I blog mainly for my own reference and sometimes to vent, the fact that I'm actually venting to someone is motivation hahahaha. I like how I'm complaining to noone in particular but people will still read my frustrations. It's like when you yell at a wall, it feels better if there are people on the other side who can hear you rather than just yelling at a wall, like that philosophical thing with the "if a tree falls in a forest and noone is around to hear it, does it make a noise?" Maybe I feel like my words might as well not be there unless someone reads them, regardless of who that person is.

Never looked back since those first few posts hahaha. Well, figuratively. still go back to look at them when I'm bored and it's really interesting how even my tone of typing has changed. Soooo childish back then hahaha. some of it makes me cringe, but I'll never delete it. I think my blog is like a log of my maturing over time and the changes I go through. My blog, for me, isn't just something for other people to read, it's something for me to come back to in the future and read over. It's like creating history. I think history is very important, and that's why I will never delete any of my blog entries (just like I never delete any emails from my inbox, except facebook spam). Oh yeah, and I like how my archives go down on the side from november 2007 to present. :] it's so nice and uniform and I like how I've never missed a month hahaha. a COMPLETE history of my adolescence, highs like mountains, lows like gorges and flats like airport runways all attached. =P

Another reason I blog is to let out all my thoughts and reorganise them. If you're a follower of my blog you should be familiar with my random long winded and extremely mind-twisting philosophical writings (I have to say I sound extremely eloquent and sophisticated when I'm in one of those moods lol). When I get into one of those moods it makes me depressed because thoughts go around in circles in my head without head or tails and so I have to blog to spew it all out and untangle everything. Oh and after that I have a very clear thought process out physically so I can actually follow my thoughts and I can actually learn a lot from what I have written :] Sure, not everything can be expressed in language, but I try my best. I've been told that people actually enjoy reading my philosophical wafflings as well haha, so win/win?

A blog is a tool of spreading information. When I see something really cool, I share it on my blog (and potentially facebook). I think it's a great way to expose my friends to my interests :] because sharing is caring~

In a way, I guess my blog is a lot like the window into my thoughts. I think someone can learn a lot about what kind of person I am just from reading my blog posts. I know people who have actually taken the time to go through every single entry hahahaha and WOW I am impressed. So much useless waffle in between things of any value XD Tbh I don't think there's anything wrong with putting useless things in one's blog either, since they are just one's random thoughts. And it's that person's personal blog!!! I think sometimes the personality of a blog can be ruined if the blogger starts publishing things just to please the audience. Just like a musician or movie director, the best works are often the debuts, when they have an idea fresh in their minds that they want to portray and aren't too fussed about what the public is going to think. But after they become popular, they have intense pressure to stay at the top, so the individuality is lost; they start producing what is 'safe', what everyone is sure to like. But I think that level of like is lower than the love for original thought, if done right. That's why I don't bother trying to please anyone with my blog, since it is, after all, just a record of my being, not anyone else's. Don't like, don't read. :] I know I can't please everyone, but just having some people actually enjoying reading my thoughts is enough for me to be thankful that I'm not insane after all =P

So there you go, a breakdown of why I continue to blog 2 and a half years after I started... and I have every intention to keep going :] no plans to kill off this wingless bird yet ^^

LANTURNNNZZ

^ dinner :] 12 dollars well spent! very fun and nice dinner ^^~ free side dishes which included egg as well. that made me very happy. Idk where laina is in the photo I think she kinda disappeared behind sunny/steph's head. so many people lmao we took up like 1/4 of the restaurant :D

wellp the full recount is pretty much on yujie's page already, except the last bit because we got split up since our group is so massive. what happened down my end was that I wanted to get an animal hat so I dragged will and various other ppl to the stall, and they ran out of panda hats apparently, so I got a sheep one :3 then we went back to the fountain area and found that everyone else had gone to get stuff til everyone else got back to the same area except for yujie's little group who disappeared, and we took some group photos, jono came for like 2 secs and then disappeared again, and then everyone kinda dispersed once again...

they saw jason's chinese opera mask and decided to go back into the warzone so we followed, which is when we ran into alan/jun again and we found cleo/hillie and we stood around while ppl were getting their chinese opera masks, just talking. then jimin and laina were complaining that it was too hot and too many ppl so we decided to leave~~ it was so dark! So, we made our way back to the little courtyard outside sky karaoke and met james there, and he took us to esquires coffee where we just sat down and talked for about 20 mins... felt so good to sit down haha :] after that we just went home after a long day @_@

hummm well yesterday was the most fun i've had in a long time~ I guess it's true that it's not as much about the place than it is about the people you're with. I've heard that lantern festival is boring, but I honestly had a lot of fun with the people I went with. So, thanks to all my friends who make my life just that much less miserable =P

sheepy hat -3- attractive facials I know. o and jamie chencake and tony kept mocking me about my lisp ): braces are so annoying...

to live is to be mortal...

I just got told that my grandpa passed away at lunchtime today

...

It came down on me like a rock. The thing is, I wasn't even that close to him, but the realisation of how fragile a human's life is really hit home. We're going to the hospital to see him later... I can already imagine seeing him and bursting into tears. You think of how he's not in the same world as us anymore, how he never even gets to see anything that happens from now on. You think of all the times you spent together, however brief, and how that other person who was living, breathing, talking to you at that time is no longer alive. It's a warped and twisted feeling...

I think the last few months I've hardly even talked to him. All I've really done is help him put his pills into bottles, change the time on his microwave and clock when there was a blackout, pour him tea... Although I knew that he was unhealthy, I honestly thought that he would last a few more years at least... is death really that sudden? I still don't even know what he had. I don't know anything about his illness, only his diabetes. I have no idea what kind of medical procedures he's been through, even though he's been living in the same house as me for the past 10 years. Even though it's like a stranger who was living in my house passed away, the fact that I know he was my maternal grandfather makes me guilty about not being more interested in his life. I guess that's just one of the things death does to you...

I can't even begin to imagine how my mum feels right now. I'm scared... to know the brevity of a human life, and to know how fast time passes, and how suddenly this came about, I'm scared. I guess I really am afraid of death. Having never come across it before in my life, and having someone in my immediate family just... disappear... it's a real eye opener. I guess the whole concept of death is so much more real to me now...

I can't help but think how life has its ups and downs. It's such a pity that when you're on a down it feels absolute shit and you just want it to be over, but you know the worse is yet to come.

In the end, I guess it's true that good and bad are ultimately in a balance. On a fine summer's day like this, something like this could happen... I guess the rain around 12.30 today wasn't so meaningless after all.

Our time certainly is finite.

string cheese

Humans' lives are a lot like strands of string. They run parallel to one another along a long surface, representing time.

Ceaselessly, these strings touch or become close together, symbolic of a person passing others along the road, or people coexisting within the same neighbourhood. Most of the time, we don't pay much mind to these types of people since they're more or less strangers to us.

Very often however, two strings may become entwined for a second, representing the people we contact but never quite get to know, for example the librarian who checks out our books for us, or the starbucks worker who provides us with our green tea frappuccino.

Less often, but still fairly commonly, strings become loosely entwined for a long period of time; these would be our acquaintances, friends we don't know well, teachers, employers... but more often than not, eventually the strings will set off in separate directions after a while together.

Closer friends are like knotted strings... like a pair of earphones left in one's pocket, close friends have spent a lot of time together and know each other very well because they have had the time to better understand each other. But also, like the pair of earphones, these types of knots can eventually be undone.

The strongest types of friendships are the ones that last through life... the 'true' friends. Like the force required to tie a dead knot between strings, effort is required to create these types of friendships as well. We have to put care into preserving the friendships worth keeping, maybe reinforce the shoelace several times to ensure that it won't come undone, in order to have friends for life.

Strangers in one's life are natural; they are all around us...

Brief contact with others is necessary in our lives as well, even if we never get to know the other person and, likewise, acquaintances are kept often even if we have only met the other person once.

People naturally become closer if they spend a lot of time together...

BUT

true friendships require effort from both sides. there is no such thing as a 'natural' friendship that lasts through life. only with care and love for other people can one keep these true friends; the moment someone loses interest, the friendship is gone as well... true friends these days are very rare. just ask anyone you know if they are still close to their 'best friend' from their elementary school days. their high school school days, even their college days. I predict that the answer will more likely be no than yes. that's why it's important to remember that if you value a friendship, it's important to value the person as well! :] let's all care for our friends the way that we would like to be cared for, for the rest of our lives.

I never expected it to hurt this much. I feel like it's only going to get worse for a while. But I have to tell myself that this decision was for the best. I'm sure that if I keep pushing forwards I'll come out of the raincloud and meet the rainbow at some point.

I don't know if I'm feeling regret or if it's just straight pain from a hard decision. I accept that things can never go back to how they were, or at least not for a while.

I realise that what we had was beautiful, and could have become even more beautiful, but I just ruined it because I'm a coward and seem to be afraid of beautiful things.

I do feel better being able to spill my feelings out like this, because my eyes are really tired from crying.

Hopefully we can both get over this eventually.

I'm not sorry.

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010

TWENTY-TEN (not two thousand and ten, or two zero one zero, or two zero ten, or any of that retarded long winded crap) has arrived at last!!!

I have not slept for 37 hours starting from 7am Thursday 31st December 2009.

Woke up at 7am due to my crap old sony ericsson's alarm, and had to get to the bbq area in cornwall park at 9am to 'hog bbqs' with chen. I guess David didn't anticipate that everyone would want to use the gas bbqs and we were left with 5 free bbqs all to ourselves. During waiting, Chen and I witnessed a white guy drive his car into the parking lot, get out, look around conspicuously and then TAKE HALF THE FIREWOOD FROM ONE OF THE BBQS LOL. After loading it all into his boot, he just gets back in his car and drives away. Chen's thoughts: "That was SO ASIAN. and the guy was WHITE!?!?!!?"

mm, well when people finally arrived we had a bbq of course, took ages just to get the fire ready and had to go around finding something to start the fire ("a flint..?" "wait wtf. it's called a splint chen.") and had to go around and find an AXE... jono showed up in his like nissan 300ZX super decked out with huge speakers that u can see vibrate in the back and removable sunroofs, and we used that to annoy the hell out of everyone else in the park hahaha (which included, as we later found out, some of yujie's family friends). it was okay, the food was good, and after eating food there was a nissan march with a shark fin which was a kelly tarlton's car that pulled up in the lot and gave everyone free like... hat things? lmao, and u fold them around and one side is a shark and one side is a penguin. I was a penguin. kim was a shark. =P

jono's friends showed up in this beautiful nissan skyline. it was like. so shiny |: I only remember the driver was some buff asian dude in a tight yellow tshirt. I didn't care so much for him as his car omfggggg .... And then we did some random stuff cuz we got bored such as play a fail capture the flag, and then jeremy and david stuck yunbin's phone into a tree on the lower branch, and we all managed to convince him that it was up high, and he was looking up the entire time...

"SEE THAT LEAF? IT'S LIKE. RIGHT NEXT TO IT."

yunbin: "WHAT LEAF?!?!?!!"

"...you know, that green one!"

umm, that turned into just sitting in circles and talking, which resulted in games of snap and pulse hahaha. and then we just decided to leave~ The weather was beautifulllll, but it was a little cold.

After arriving at jamie's, I went to watch them practise with their band, ended up holding up davids folder and turning pages for him while he played his flute lol. they sounded really good! esp chen's singing, very impressive :] then they just gave up and chen started making dinner, and we all went down to the flat where gabby was embarrassed by her ex in the ags chronicle or something lol... I don't know, but there was a big chase during which jamie's yearbook was dented =P not to mention rose had drawn all over it in pen to label specific people... we had dinner, which was v nice. ty to chen and jamie's awesome parents :]

at 9.30pm, david set free the lantern that he worked so hard onn~~ and I helped with the calligraphy haha ^^ it was a surprise and it was good that it actually went up a bit, even if it fell down into the neighbour's house after it rose... it's okay, we got a few pictures and the neighbour's house was not set on fire. that's good enough I reckon. you can't think of it like your wishes going up and then crashing back down, you have to think of it like, you're sending your wishes up and the heavens are giving them back to you, ie. they will be granted :]

So, let's take a break in narration here to do some New Year's Resolutions!!

2009 resolutions:

1) stop slacking when it comes to your education - KIND OF. I have started studying for the SATs and am taking calc tutorials every monday with kim...

2) don't get distracted by stupid things - ??? still do this all the time =/

3) try new things - signed up for dragon boating next year, did debating & mediation

4) get better at old things - got better at badminton. (then got worse, but let's not go there)

5) take risks - TAKING ART AND NCEA. MIGHT NOT GET INTO AMERICAN UNI. D:

6) make new friends - lots and lots!!! tick ^^

7) get to know old acquaintances - same here~~~ tick

8) get hardout. im serious |: no more playing around, tiem to get serial about life. - ....I actually think I got more lax about life ):

So, this years NYRS???:

1) Do well on your SATs. I expect at least a 2200. Retake as many times as necessary.

2) Concentrate on school!

3) Don't ignore your friends and social life either!

4) Make the most of all the opportunities you've got in 6th form

5) Mature!!! Know when and how to handle different situations well etc.

6) Get more fit hahahaa

7) Be more independent :]

8) GET ENOUGH SLEEP

Yup I think that's a pretty good list for this year, I guess I'll review this next year this time then. Back to the narrative...

I got drunk (apparently). I still don't believe it, but I'm not one to judge since I don't know what it's meant to feel like >> I basically had like 1/4 cup of baileys mixed with milk, and I kept adding milk as I finished drinking. Anyway I ended up with a really red face and when hillie told me to get up and walk in a straight line I fell back on my chair >___> I still think that was my general lack of coordination though, but ofc people like to say that I was drunk... I could still see everything that was going on, still remember it lol and I could txt normally? Just, it felt really realy hot and like my heart was in my brain and my whole head was pulsing, and it felt like birds were flying around in my head. I drank 2L of water after that, and after a few trips to the toilet I was normal colour again and had a massive headache, so I had to have a panadol... in other words, I had like the LEAST amount of alcohol out of everyone who drank, and I had one of the most violent reactions. peanut had the same reaction as me, except she drank 1/2 cup baileys, like double the amount I had... I think that if I'd had as much as her, I would've seriously just been gone. verdict: winnie's alcohol tolerance is 0 and she will never drink again. >>

the rest of the night was a mix of GIRL TALK (with GIRLS, including will and david. =P) ie DMCs, playing singstarrr (funny story actually, I had 'never gonna give you up' stuck in my head all day today; it was like being rickrolled by myself...), and lol, eating? XD I don't really remember how all those hours passed by so quickly to be honest.

in the morning, everyone pretty much slept... I slept only for like 15 mins cuz jono was playing his weird sound clips on max volume next to my ear, apparently I slept through the lion king theme and the random mozzie sound, while david who was sleeping like 2m away was like twitching and could hear it hahahahaha... I sleep like a log..? but yeah I got woken up. it was pretty energizing for a 15 min nap though. the next 2 or so hours were spent harassing sleeping people basically. then we just had breakfast and bummed around for half a day, everyone half dead... couldn't get to sleep though for some reason. Played a few games of mahjong, won 2 lost 1, yea thats right beginner's luck every time I play cuz I forget how to play every time and have to be retaught hahaha =P so technically still a beginner..

after that, we decided to go down to the park to play basketball~! cleo got rejected by a little girl on the swing, and it was david, me & lucy against jono/jeremy/peanut or yb/wenzin/jamie which was uhh. a little unfair? david's advice: "JUST SLAP HIM!" I ended up doing that |: I'm sorry jono...

My grandpa got admitted to hospital last night because he was having breathing difficulties, he has too much liquid in his system and it's been sitting for a longer time than usual cuz dialysis is delayed due to public holidays =/ hope he turns out okay, that's not a very good way to start the new year...

Although, I can't believe today is new years. it just feels like a really long day for me lol... like, last night felt like new years cuz we were doing all the celebrations, but today is just like, "OMG. IM TIREDDDDD. CAN I SLEEP?"

...I have not slept for 38 hours starting from 7am Thursday 31st December 2009. I actually feel pretty okay in terms of energy levels, not too tired hahaha but i think my eyes are like a panda's... I guess I should actually get to sleep soon lol.

I'd like to say a massive THANK YOU to all my friends for being there for me this year, it's been great, I hope to go through BIGGER AND BETTER times with all of you in 2010!!! :] you've been there for me when I'm down to make me smile, sometimes when I've smiled you've come to make me sad, but then I try to convert some of my smile to you as well. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but we have to try since we're friends right? YOU'RE ALL AWESOME, I love you all equally ♥

ANYWAY, HAPPY NEW YEARS TO EVERYONE! hope you had an awesome first decade of the 21st century and let's all join together to make the decades in the future even more memorable!!!

the good old love debate

emotions... something we all take for granted, have no control over, and scatter everything else into the disarray that we see today.

the most powerful emotions can be all-consuming, dangerous and possibly lethal... it doesn't even have to be a negative emotion like anguish or hatred... In my opinion the most dangerous feeling is love.

love towards a lover, a friend, a family member... in its purest form it will destroy both people. everything grows from love. jealousy, worry, righteousness.

the classic scenario is everywhere, overprotective parents acting out of love and wanting the best for their children, look down on others who give their children freedom while asphyxiating their own in tightly-rolled armour of bubblewrap, keeping anything 'bad' away from them, leaving their minds untainted and innocent, giving them a false sense of reality about our chaotic world.

think about this act of 'love'. is it really love? it is cruelty. when the parents are gone, all the walls are knocked down, how can the child survive? with no knowledge of what is out there, blinded by their vision of a perfect world... unfortunately our world is not like that, and it will never be. pain has to be given in small doses, like a vaccine. to let someone suffer the full blow of it all at once, is that love or cruelty?

it is not bad that parents want the best for their children. it is knowing where to stop and see the line between caring for them and harming them in the long term... also the line between caring for them and forcing your wants on them. the child is a human being, just like you... in my opinion, once they're old enough to have their own logical opinion, you hold no authority over them. because think about it, if they want to do something, it's not like you can stop them without it being abuse. all humans have freedom of thought.

however, I am not saying love is a bad feeling. it is just that humans are unable to control their emotions from running wild... love is a wonderful emotion. it is what humans allow to manifest from love that is terrible.

love in its purest form for someone will make you put their needs first. you would take your life for theirs... it brings out the fool in all of us. the feeling that without them you cannot live, it is not love. that is desperation and dependence on the person to be your anchor. unable to live on your own, the dependence on that person to bring you happiness that has grown from your love will be your undoing. the people who have loved ones die, and move on... they are the ones to admire. it's not fair to say that they never loved them in the first place just because they are able to do that... in my opinion it's more like, because they loved them, therefore they can do it. they accept that their love can live on inside them, they don't need the other person because the feeling is enough.

in my opinion, love needs no returns... but if we can separate this ideal of love from all the jealousy, desperation, care and worry, it wouldn't be love anymore... it's just the way the world works. life is unfair, the world is cruel. even the emotions that should bring us the best happinesses can cause pain... but that's life. what goes on inside each of us... is decided by the particular individual. it's too hard to separate love from all these things...

but we can try.

right?

We should be able to accept things and move on... because love accepts mistakes. love is forgiving, and holds no grudges. love is perfect. love doesn't hurt, as everyone says. the feeling that hurts isn't love at all...

"If you love someone, let them go... if they return, they are yours. If they don't, they never were."

I'm not going to get into the whole thing with love being a chemical reaction, I'm feeling idealistic tonight (:

a blog entry about yujie

Because she told me to. I tried to find the best pictures of her that I had... but i ran out so I just used random ones in the end D: like bottom left LOL, the red arrow shows u where she is. -nod-

Hopefully after this she will stop bugging me to write about her. =.= since she is so obviously narcissistic which is why she told me to do this in the first place "because your blog is cool, so if you write about me, I'll be cool as well!"
my reply: "exactly, my cool blog and your uncoolness simply doesn't mix..."

I have no idea what to write about her =/ she's spastic. really. uh, ok... well, her birthday is July 9. She lives in mt roskill at the end of bludgen ave/st/road or something, with her parents, grandparents and little brother joshua who is 2. she works on sundays at sylvia park mr whippy. she gives out free icecream. go stalkers go!

she is 162cm in height and 47kg in weight. she likes to tie her hair in a bun normally, or straighten it and leave it out. she enjoys wearing heels because they make her taller. this makes me laugh because even with heels on she is not as tall as me.

she likes to wear yellow because it suits her, as seen below:

she is totally normal, I know you want to meet her.

she gets hyper easily, or her natural state is in hyperactivity. this is easily explained by a single incident involving a certain party and her actions in the middle of the street, something I myself was not able to witness (i was inside, hijacking laina's laptop) but I have heard it was hilarious. I heard they made a video =P

in year 9 she had mabin for french. she sucked at it, so she doesn't take it anymore. i had mabin that year as well and got a french prize ;D

her mum often forgets to give her cutlery to eat her food with, so she uses mine. or at least, she would, but I didn't reply in time, so she sent someone to the tuck shop to get cutlery for her since she's too lazy to go herself.

she dislikes how her calves are muscular and thinks that she is fat. I hate her for this.

tian thinks she is on drugs. I have no idea why, but it may have to do with the copius amounts of eyeliner she used to wear which gave her a variation of the look of stoned eyes (kind of like kristin stewart, except more unnatural). oh yeah and she's high all the time. I guess I understand.

she likes to start her conversations with me with 'weeeeeenieeeeeeeeee <333333333333333333' it is unnerving at times. also I used to get a little jealous when she talks with william a lot, but I'm over that now. =P since its inevitable that they scheme against me anyway.

she claims that sitting next to me in art makes her draw bad. I think this is complete bs and it's just her brain, and that she gets distracted wayyy too easily. when she's frustrated she likes to hit me a lot also, and unlike laina does not apologise. therefore I believe it is also in my best interests to stay away from her.

she is leaving for china on april 6-7th i think. I have no idea, I forget. she is packing a lot of clothes, I find it stupid. but whatever makes her happy I guess, it's her suitcase she has to carry around...

SHE DIDN'T BELIEVE ME WHEN I SAID I WAS MAKING A BLOG ENTRY ABOUT HER. WHAT NERVE.

she gets curious easily and isn't too good at keeping secrets. she likes to be the one to tell people things you see... well that's the impression I get anyway.

one of the first memories I have with her is the hole I made in tech. It was funny.. hahahaha. armpit =/ I suck at sewing. I don't remember much actually though. OH good times in food tech and cutting onions. That was the first time I ever cut onions. It was painful.

I forgot what I was saying. cuz people are talking to me on msn now =.= so yeah. yj is an awesome friend =D ILY YJ. but i hate you for making me do ths. although finding retarded photos was fun -thumbs up-

a small act of humanity

On my way to school yesterday morning as we were about to turn the intersection, a lady ran into the middle of the intersection, completely in disregard of her own safety, and picked up a small animal from the middle of the road, ran off and dropped it behind the fence on the other side. It really warmed my heart that she could run onto a busy intersection like that to save something else without thinking about her own safety. (albeit extremely dangerous...) but still. It's not donating millions of dollars to animal societies, but it's something. Most of us would have seen it and perhaps cringed as it was run over, but someone acted against the system and a life was saved (: it was inspirational in any case.

(and somewhat stupid, but the thoughts that came with the stupid action outweigh the actual stupidity in itself I think)

Other than that nothing of much note has happened, but when I came home yesterday there was a huge bouquet of flowers for my dad from Telecom & EDS as a thanks for helping them with their project. It was pretty~ I'll post pictures when I extract them from my phone. How convenient that it was the same day that I brought home my art folder to draw them plants in the weekend.

Nothing much of note right now, I'm at school. Also I do believe I'm wasting a lot of valuable time lately doing stupid things (like, I don't even know where it went) so I'm going to try to rectify this next week. 6th week of school~ We're halfway through the term now... 1/8 through the year. Aaah years fly by so fast when you're old.

Spent wednesday at home cuz I was too sick T_T the amount of snot a body can produce is nothing short of amazing in my opinion. However I did manage to get some stuff done (inc. starting some stuff for Doujin Overload this year) It's amazing how much free time you have when you don't have to go to school and don't have anyone to distract you on msn with conversation, I achieved so much more than I would, like the drawing I started on photoshop is almost finished after 4ish hours and it would normally perhaps take me like 3 weeks to get to that stage. So sickness is sometimes a good thing. Makes you feel like crap, but it has some good points as well...

WHY ISNT ANYONE ELSE AT SCHOOL YET.

dslfjasldkfasjdlfadsjf. cbs saying any more I'll just sit here and wait for people to turn up >>