That annual thing I do in January

I've been running away from my responsibilities a lot lately, whether it be not replying to emails for a long time when I really should, or not really thinking about what I want to do and therefore spending my time inefficiently. I actually put off writing this for almost the whole day now, even though I knew I should probably do it, if only as a vehicle to force myself to think about how to realign myself and my goals for the next year. So here's my 2015 New Years Resolutions recap and proposal.

I couldn't find a google image of a sheep watching fireworks, so I had to make this myself.

These were my NYRs from 2014:
1) Be a hard worker and don't get lazy 
2) Learn more about the world eg. take a few history classes! 
3) This belly flab has got to go }:( 
4) Learn how to web one way or another 
5) Take more time to do art 
6) Watch your spending and exercise self control. A few good things is better than a lot of crap... 
7) Commit to bettering the communities you're a part of. Don't take on too much so you can focus on concentrated impact. 
8) :) > :( have a great year!

So instead of going through and talking about each one explicitly, I just wanna do a general recap because I think it relates quite well to all those resolutions. 2014 was probably one of, if not the hardest year I had to go through so far in life. It was the longest I have ever been away from home and the longest I have gone without seeing my family. It was also the most I have ever struggled with anything (CS124) and the feeling of helplessness was very real through my sophomore spring and weekly all nighters. The trauma from sleeping every Thursday morning at 5am and then getting up at 7am to finish the pset to submit at 10.59am is still painful to think about.

However, despite all that, I think 2014 was also a year of a lot of learning opportunities and I definitely matured a lot over the scope of the last 12 months. I was able to lottery into USW35, a class about the public education system in America, and it really made me think critically about society and begin to think more about politics, economics and race. I feel really lucky to have been one of the few who were able to take it that semester, since I learned a lot and really got to practice looking at issues from different perspectives and weighing the pros and cons of each point of view.

I was also able to spend my second summer at Facebook, this time getting to work on the real deal and ship code to users. Since it was my first experience working at the bleeding edge of the industry, it was a really exciting time and I definitely learned a lot, not only about the Facebook code stack specifically but also about the psyche of Silicon Valley, how to better approach problems, the mechanics of a successful and happy workplace. It was also just kind of a reality check, being able to handle real innovation and see it in action was super cool and also super scary! *_* Also I guess I learned web here hahahaha (kinda).

Oh, during this time I also went to the gym every morning for an hour, so that was great for my fitness. Unfortunately the routine crumbled after the summer due to the erraticness of college, but I actually think the rigid routine I made myself stick to during the summer made me a little more disciplined during the fall semester to at least control my sleeping times a bit better.

This last semester, enrolling in SW14 has broadened my understanding of general history and the effect of big events on the world. Of course, this is not saying much since I haven't really ever taken a history class before, but I think it's been beneficial at least to my goal of becoming a more well-rounded, informed person. I know people bag on geneds a lot but actually all my favorite classes so far have been gen eds :)

Ah, and my resolution to not spend as much money translated itself to not buying any new clothes. I actually donated 2 big bags of clothes to the clothing swap in the spring that the women's center was holding, and I didn't buy any clothes this year except when I was traveling in Asia, because hey if you're traveling it doesn't count. :P I think my net amount of clothing has still decreased, but I still have a lot to do! I have way too many clothes in my wardrobe still that I never wear haha. Maybe I should do a sale this semester to get rid of them before I regret it during packing for summer storage. In terms of money saved... I'd say it mostly translated to buying other things, electronic-wise. Go figure, I substitute clothing for electronics. #sidewaysmicroeconomics

In terms of doing more art... Oh! ... hahahah I was going to make this one of my resolutions for this year. Guess I forgot about it. Well I still did some stuff, but I think I should exercise this better this year. I actually want to get a small notebook in it just for doodling. I'm also sad because my sketchpad was lost in the mail when I tried to ship it from California back to Boston after the summer :( but alas these things happen.

I decided to cut down my extracurriculars too, so my main ones turned into TFing and AAA. I found it really valuable to have the time to commit to these few things, since the quality of work produced was a lot better and I also wasn't stretched out so I could focus more and make sure everything that needed to get done was getting done well, instead of half-assedly.

I definitely took a lot more photos this year, as part of CS50's photography staff. I think I've improved a lot, and having someone prodding you to produce good work is definitely at times stressful but also worth it. My photo got published in the Wall Street Journal! :) And is the header for the new CS50 edX course for this coming year. I also have a photo in the new Harvard Shop Coffeebook I hear, which is really neat because it means I get a free copy. :P it's kinda cool to see a hobby turn into something more :)

Hmm so in terms of goals for this year...

1) Buy a notebook and put creative things in it -- whether it be doodles or writings
2) For money expenditure: be conservative with goods, but don't sacrifice experiences.
3) Exercise with AP! Or make him exercise with you. Because we r both blobs :D
4) Make sure future Winnie is not gonna hate you for all the things you left her to deal with
5) Be more open, accessible and generous. This includes replying to emails.
6) Be more optimistic! I think after learning more about the world I became a little defeatist. It's bad to be too jaded of a senior, so I should try to look on the bright side more.
7) Continue to floss daily :D

2014 it's lovely to make your acquaintance...

... but did you really have to come down in a fit of rain?

Wow what do I even say? 2013 felt so new and then it was old again. A lot happened and I learned a whole heap of stuff? Uh...

In the ways of recent things, I've been home for a week and quite a few people have said that my accent has become Americanized. HOWEVER -- yesterday I was in Sylvia Park and the cashier lady at Life Pharmacy asked if I'd like to sign up for their membership, and when I said I don't live in the country she was confused because I had an NZ accent :P so there.

So since I came back, I went shopping a few times, baked a few cakes, watched some movies (The wolf on wall street, rush, the bling ring, the winnie the pooh movie, frozen -- can I just gush about how great Frozen was? I went in with pretty high expectations since everyone I know who's seen it had such great things to say about it, and I still left with those magical disney feels.), and hung out with people I haven't seen in a while.

Oki now I suppose I'll reflect on last year's resolutions:

1) The Usual Academic Resolution 
Lol my GPA dropped from last year to this year. It's okay. I think this semester I got stressed out at times because of the workload, and I was made to think that I was a workaholic. I'm still somewhat dubious about the extent to which this is true, but there's no denying that my grades are important to me; I like to know I'm doing well and they're an indication of whether I'm on the right track in grasping ideas. Learning is important to me.

2) The Usual Exercise-Related Resolution 
Oh god. I had a pretty good streak going through the summer when I ran every day for 15 minutes, but after college started again that kind of died. Tried to do an assisted pullup this semester with ~100lb assist and still died. Why so weak? Idk... I also went to a hapkido session (a -- yes singular). I learned how to do some basic grabs and how to fall, and my body was surprisingly sore the next day. Badminton seems to be full of graduate students so I don't go very often at all :/ Now I'm a blob again. Alexpong let's exercise properly next semester for real though.

3) The Usual Social Resolution -- New and Old Friends 
I met so many new people this year! Probably because of a new year at college, and also traveling in the summer. Different people are so intriguing, and I also really enjoyed getting to know people I didn't really spend that much time with before even though we both knew of each other's existence, like George over the summer! It's of course harder to do that in NZ since I'm not here most of the time, but I'm trying to catch up with people when I come back and keep positive relationships :)

4) Create a more comfortable self. Don't slip back into fickleness. 
Looking back, I'm somewhat convinced that I had some kind of social anxiety issue when I was younger. I'm still sometimes like this but I'm definitely more open and confident about certain events. Eg. before, every time before I had to meet anyone new or talk to shopkeepers even, I'd get a little bit panicky (my heartrate would rise) and I'd have to run through what I was going to say in my head before I said it. Actually in class whenever I had to speak my ears used to get really red because I didn't like public speaking that much. College has helped somehow, I'm not entirely sure how it happened -- I do have a theory that because it forces you to reflect on yourself and make your own decisions often, I am less able to be simply an observer on the wall and actually have to proactively do things day to day, so I'm less involved in other's lives and more in my own (this has had an odd side effect in that I'm not as good as remembering people as I used to be, and I also stalk people's lives less since I don't have the time).

5) Be more patient with others, less self-absorbed, think of others' needs. 
I'm trying very hard to be more selfless, especially in my relationship and with my friends. I think I do have a tendency to be impatient at times (more so when I am disgruntled to begin with), but I'm trying to control it better. I think outwardly facing most people I don't know very well can't really tell, but I'm still trying to get rid of the inner conflict of putting myself before others and thinking of my own interests first. I do sometimes worry about being taken advantage of, but I believe (logically at least) that the overall thing I'm trying to achieve will have more positive net impact than negative.

6) Gain experience in the field. Try get an internship, see if CS is the right path for you 
I declared CS! :) I'm officially a CS major eee how exciting. With a minor in Studio Arts :) Anyway, 2 summers at Facebook should be enough to see if I like the software engineering path. I did have some reservations after agreeing to come back for the summer, and everything else suddenly looked so much more appealing (psychology of seeing things you can't have anymore I suppose). I've decided that next year I will try to get something in the film industry or do some research. Gotta get out of the SE bubble and try something new. I am leaning toward grad school after college currently but still mostly unsure about what I want to do with the rest of my life.

7) Read more 
Books I read for pleasure this year:
Lolita, Vladimir Nobakov
Inferno, Dan Brown
Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell
Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro
Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg
Golden Bones, Sichan Siv
Orange is the New Black, Piper Kerman

Eep that's around 1 per 2 months. I could do better.

8) As always, Have more reasons to smile than frown.
Haha of course. I still think I'm the luckiest person in the world. :)

Some resolutions for 2014?
1) Be a hard worker and don't get lazy
2) Learn more about the world eg. take a few history classes!
3) This belly flab has got to go }:(
4) Learn how to web one way or another
5) Take more time to do art
6) Watch your spending and exercise self control. A few good things is better than a lot of crap...
7) Commit to bettering the communities you're a part of. Don't take on too much so you can focus on concentrated impact.
8) :) > :( have a great year!

And here we go again. 2013

The Last Sunset

NZ is a lot more beautiful than I remember, if that's even possible. I just got back from a 5 day road trip with friends over new years, where I actually made use of my camera for the first time properly (took over 1200 shots over that time haha). The story behind that photo... we wanted to catch the last sunset of the year, we were trying to find a high point around Kerikeri and we couldn't get to the coastline, it was about 2 minutes until sunset and we hit the end of a road we had been going back and forth on (did 4 U-Turns!), we figured at that point we couldn't really do anything except go forward and lo and behold, we found the cutest bay with an awesome view of the sunset. We also managed to catch some fish there, and it was awesome for photos :) so that went much better than expected. Sometimes the best experiences are unplanned. 

Anyway the road trip was a lot of fun, I didn't have many expectations of it beforehand, to be honest I only really agreed to go because I had nothing else to do over new years so I thought heck, why not. It's the first new years I've spent in New Zealand since 2010. Northland is freaking beautiful in the summer, I don't even know how else to put it honestly, so here's a scenery picspam.

 That's what I've been up to lately :) It was nice after two years of Christmas and New Years in winter to come back to NZ and experience summer during this time of year again. Though I actually arrived on Christmas day so I didn't really get that this year, and honestly felt a bit out of place after getting home because of the change in environment (since our house is being renovated, I couldn't actually return 'home', I had no clothes or any personal belongings that I didn't bring back with me because my parents just left it all under a plastic sheet at the old house), but the nice weather brought everything back together and I suppose some things just feel the same. Should be interesting to see more people during the next three weeks and see how interactions change haha.

It's the time of year when I make my new list of NYRs and look back at last year's and see how well I've done!

2012:
1) do your best in uni. No slacking off even if other people say it's easy - get your grades first and then play around :) 

I didn't miss a single class this whole semester! And even at AU I didn't miss many lectures either. I guess I did reasonably on exams, could have been better but I can't complain about my grades. I also really enjoyed the rest of college this year as well, growing up and meeting new people and all that, so overall I think I did a good job of balancing work/play this year.

2) if you are in America by the time you read this again, you are the man. 

Ok so I'm in NZ right now but the general gist of this is HIGH FIVE PAST WINNIE you did a good job on your applications. 2011 Winnie I love you so much for putting in the hard hours so that I can live such an awesome life right now (ofc also thanks to family and friends for continued support haha, it was a group effort obviously).


3) try new things - especially in uni, look for the things that might pique some genuine passion. Find the spark you lack. 

I think I tried a lot of new stuff this year. Moving to a new country and reinventing the self, trying out archery, taking econ for the first time, taking a computer science class on a whim and discovering what might turn into a major. Wow actually if I think about the year, in January I had no idea what I was doing in uni. I applied to Engineering/Arts and nothing else because that's what I wrote on my Scholarship form, I disregarded Architecture altogether, in hindsight that might have been because of a subconscious thought that I would be leaving the country so I didn't take my AU applications as seriously which is probably bad, but it paid off. Actually a BA/BE would not have been bad for me anyway, but I was going to major in Film/Media Studies except none of the classes fit with the first year Engineering schedule, so I decided to take Compsci 101 and Econ 111 instead -- both things I'd never really tried before. I discovered I like programming and I learned a lot about the world in Economics (it's actually applicable to everything I swear, it's just too bad I'm not good at it haha but I learned a lot this year through Econ 111 and Ec10). I also tried new hobbies like Archery -- I was just walking around the extracurriculars fair and saw the stall and signed up. Actually, I was really into Archery when I was younger and always wanted to try it because it seemed awesome to be able to shoot arrows, and now I actually do it :D Oh also I went to an intro breakdancing session where I learned the basic 6 step and baby freeze which I am still useless at, but it was fun.Trying new things is pretty cool, I want to do more of that.

4) GO AND FREAKING. WORK OUT YOU FAT SLOB. 

Ok so Billy and Will somehow convinced me this year to start working out at the gym with them, which I never thought would happen to be honest but I really enjoy it. It turned out to be easier than I expected actually, just a little bit every few days makes you feel really good even if your body is tired. It's a pity my routine kind of broke when I moved to America because of other things, I really want to put more time into gymming actually in the next year since it makes you feel good. As a result though, I got fatter when I returned from the US compared to how I was at the beginning of the year even though I worked out more this year =.= Dedication is key zzz. And I gotta lay off the honey butter on Sundays at Annenberg clearly.


5) get a job and earn some money :) becoming more independent even when support is there 

Oh sup CNSST tutoring job. Oh sup NCEA Campus tutoring job. Oh sup HSA Rover. This year was a good year for job exp. Oh yeah and there was that one afternoon at Bakers Delight where I almost dropped a platter of pastries and realized those kinds of jobs just aren't for me hahaha. Man I actually did a lot this year now that I think about it, tutoring feels like soooo long ago but it was only within the last 12 months. Crazyyyyy.

6) be socially conscious 

I'm not exactly sure what this means ._. Sorry Past Winnie. I'm sure your intentions were good. If it helps, I gave $3.50 to a contact juggler the other day at mission bay? He was pretty legit though.


7) keep in touch with old friends 

I did, I think. Well it's been a rocky patch in terms of friendship since I moved countries. Hopefully things return (/have returned?) to normal. I met a lot of new people this year through uni and college as well though, its been cool. It's also been kind of hard to keep in contact with certain people from high school -- really made me realize that if you want to stay in touch with some people you have to put in the effort, and sometimes they aren't interested as well so that's kind of a bummer. I pretty much skype high school friends once a month though, and other close friends even more frequently than that. FB message is a thing. I stopped using MSN this September. It's been a cool 10 years.


8) again -- have more reasons to smile than frown :)

Well, it's certainly been an emotional year, that's for sure. Between the tears and laughter (both uncontrollable mind you), I've enjoyed both sides of life. Actually this is the first time I've felt something touch me on this level. Maybe I was just emotionally stunted before, but I think I've gained the ability to feel something real finally. Something like I'm no longer a robot. Someone told me once that Life is much easier if you just don't care, but I think it's more along the lines of, Life is easier if you care -- but not about yourself, about others around you to the point where their decisions become yours. It's not about being apathetic, but about being more easy-going and open to others' points of view, to be more accepting and less stubborn. This is still something I have to practise especially with my family whose intentions and mine seem to conflict a lot these days, but I'm learning I guess. 

Actually I'm not sure how that was relevant to the resolution at hand here ahhaaha, I just thought of it though. That's ok too. It's been an overall good year. I regret nothing; I've learned so much and though there was sadness it made me into a better person. So at the end of the year when I was watching that sunset, I was smiling. It was a beautiful end to a beautiful year.

This years NYRs??

1) The Usual Academic Resolution

2) The Usual Exercise-Related Resolution

3) The Usual Social Resolution -- New and Old Friends

4) Create a more comfortable self. Don't slip back into fickleness.

5) Be more patient with others, less self-absorbed, think of others' needs.

6) Gain experience in the field. Try get an internship, see if CS is the right path for you

7) Read more

8) As always, Have more reasons to smile than frown.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't know where else to put this, too.

I don't know if you think of this at all still, but anyway on New Years day, I was listening to music on my phone and that song came up. It reminded me of you and a lot of memories came up and it made me somewhat emotional, but I realized that things weren't right at that time anyway. It's probably for the best that things happened the way they did, though I know I caused you a lot of pain at that time. Because I realized that you can't say you wrote this, you wrote this for me -- when you have sang the same song for others before. One day you will find someone for whom you won't repeat the same songs for. That person will be worth a new leaf in your story, a fresh playlist. I want that for you because you are worth it. I'll always be around, just not in that way. 

Don't talk to me about this, I just like to know that you've read it. I hope you understand.

新年快乐!! Baby you're a firework~

The Chinese word for fireworks, 烟花，means literally 'smoke flower'. Both visually stunning and ephemeral, 烟花 encapsulates the passing of time for new years -- we are reminded that like smoke, our time on earth is transient and yet, like flowers, it is beautiful and shouldn't be cast away. This is certainly something I reflected on as I watched the terrific fireworks show exploding off the Taipei 101 this new years.

It was the first time I've actually been to such a big event to celebrate new years. I remember the flying homemade lantern of 2010 done at jamies house, or the yelling out of apartment windows in Paris of 2011. All very small but sure ways to celebrate the coming of a new year. Fireworks are of course the more traditional way to celebrate new years and it's surprising even to me that this is the first time I have come into the new years with fireworks :)

New years day represents for me a cleansing, a way to start anew and take a look at where I am going, where I would like to end up by 365 days later (nevermind how this year is a leap year...). 2011 has been relatively good year; I feel like I learned a lot as a person and matured more as I got more used to the 'real world'.

How'd I do on my own flimsy goals tho? Which I never look at after making them...

1) Make this year much much better than 2010 -- I do think it was a better year than 2010 haha, so this was good~
2) Become more open :) -- no idea I think i was pretty open to begin with and may have gone backwards :/ but I'm not sure if that's a good or bad thing in many respects..
3) Do things I want to do, not things I feel obligated to do -- I tend to do this much to the annoyance of others because it is selfish. Lol can't win in this world...
4) Push boundaries -- yeah I guess I did go through with a lot of things I wasn't super into but the rewards were really good, I'm glad I pushed myself :)
5) Dedicate myself to the things I love 120% -- still haven't found something I love so much. At best I think I have committed 90% though.
6) Complain less -- not sure how this went. I don't keep track of my own complaining...
7) Get more fit. Because I didn't do it last year. ): -- better than 2010, still not that great though haha
8) Have more reasons to smile than frown :) -- definitely :D

Hmmmmm. Not bad I suppose. My way of thinking has changed a bit. New nyrs time~

1) do your best in uni. No slacking off even if other people say it's easy - get your grades first and then play around :)
2) if you are in America by the time you read this again, you are the man.
3) try new things - especially in uni, look for the things that might pique some genuine passion. Find the spark you lack.
4) GO AND FREAKING. WORK OUT YOU FAT SLOB.
5) get a job and earn some money :) becoming more independent even when support is there
6) be socially conscious
7) keep in touch with old friends
8) again -- have more reasons to smile than frown :)

I wish you all a very happy new years and an amazing year to come. Hopefully we are all still alive by January 1 2013 and the smoke of the 烟花 has not yet been extinguished by conspiracy theories coming true :p

Remember that every day is a gift we should be so thankful for because life is the single most valuable thing we each possess, and it's pricelessness makes every year an amazing experience -- make sure when you look back at the years of your life in nostalgia that each and every year is like a different colored explosion, and your life becomes a beautifully unforgettable fireworks show!

BONNE ANNEE! 2011!

So yeah. It's 7.30am on 31 December 2010 in NZ. And I thought I'd do this now, because I have nothing better to do. So... Happy New Years! Early, yes. Maybe I'll leave this til actual new years to post so that it's not randomly at the end of my december archives...

This year's been an... interesting one. Went back to read last years new years post and I remember it clearly as if it were yesterday. I find it funny how the lantern came down after it went up, I remember distinctly thinking that it was a bad omen. Tbh it was kinda. This year wasn't that great for me. So much depressing shit happened, but I'm really thankful that I still have some really close friends who I know will stick by me no matter what happens. There have been times this year where I felt really alone, like I couldn't talk to anyone or trust anyone. But I DO have people who are willing to help me out in those times, I know that now :) I owe them all so much. And maybe I'm still not particularly mature, or independent, and I complain a lot, and I'm whiny and all of those things, and sometimes I don't understand why anyone would put up with me, but I'm so glad that they do. So to those people who love me unconditionally, who love me even at times where I hate myself, thank you so much...

Back to last years NYRs? Let's see how I did...

1) Do well on your SATs. I expect at least a 2200. Retake as many times as necessary. -- Done and dusted, first time's the charm :)
2) Concentrate on school! -- I guess we will have to wait for NCEA results to come out. If I get another A, I swear I'll... ... yeah I'll send it back for reconsideration. Maybe even Ms.
3) Don't ignore your friends and social life either! -- wow I ask so much balance of myself. I think at times this year it's been hard for me to go out but nonetheless I try to take time for my friends.
4) Make the most of all the opportunities you've got in 6th form -- ugh... I hope I did this???
5) Mature!!! Know when and how to handle different situations well etc. -- I think this happened. I went through a lot of weird situations this year haha. Don't know if I handled them well or not though @@
6) Get more fit hahahaa -- .........FAILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
7) Be more independent :] -- not sure, probably a bit more independent haha. natural part of growing up? :)
8) GET ENOUGH SLEEP -- YES :) most of the time I have gotten enough sleep. to the point where I was not jetlagged at all when I came to France :D yayyy for sleep

Man I just completely forgot to finish this post, so I will do it now. Probably says that it's posted at 12am on jan 2 but it's ACTUALLY new years here kk :)

SO! 2011 NYRs!
1) Make this year much much better than 2010
2) Become more open :)
3) Do things I want to do, not things I feel obligated to do
4) Push boundaries -- both my own and external boundaries
5) Dedicate myself to the things I love 120%
6) Complain less
7) Get more fit. Because I didn't do it last year. ):
8) Have more reasons to smile than frown :)

HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010

TWENTY-TEN (not two thousand and ten, or two zero one zero, or two zero ten, or any of that retarded long winded crap) has arrived at last!!!

I have not slept for 37 hours starting from 7am Thursday 31st December 2009.

Woke up at 7am due to my crap old sony ericsson's alarm, and had to get to the bbq area in cornwall park at 9am to 'hog bbqs' with chen. I guess David didn't anticipate that everyone would want to use the gas bbqs and we were left with 5 free bbqs all to ourselves. During waiting, Chen and I witnessed a white guy drive his car into the parking lot, get out, look around conspicuously and then TAKE HALF THE FIREWOOD FROM ONE OF THE BBQS LOL. After loading it all into his boot, he just gets back in his car and drives away. Chen's thoughts: "That was SO ASIAN. and the guy was WHITE!?!?!!?"

mm, well when people finally arrived we had a bbq of course, took ages just to get the fire ready and had to go around finding something to start the fire ("a flint..?" "wait wtf. it's called a splint chen.") and had to go around and find an AXE... jono showed up in his like nissan 300ZX super decked out with huge speakers that u can see vibrate in the back and removable sunroofs, and we used that to annoy the hell out of everyone else in the park hahaha (which included, as we later found out, some of yujie's family friends). it was okay, the food was good, and after eating food there was a nissan march with a shark fin which was a kelly tarlton's car that pulled up in the lot and gave everyone free like... hat things? lmao, and u fold them around and one side is a shark and one side is a penguin. I was a penguin. kim was a shark. =P

jono's friends showed up in this beautiful nissan skyline. it was like. so shiny |: I only remember the driver was some buff asian dude in a tight yellow tshirt. I didn't care so much for him as his car omfggggg .... And then we did some random stuff cuz we got bored such as play a fail capture the flag, and then jeremy and david stuck yunbin's phone into a tree on the lower branch, and we all managed to convince him that it was up high, and he was looking up the entire time...

"SEE THAT LEAF? IT'S LIKE. RIGHT NEXT TO IT."

yunbin: "WHAT LEAF?!?!?!!"

"...you know, that green one!"

umm, that turned into just sitting in circles and talking, which resulted in games of snap and pulse hahaha. and then we just decided to leave~ The weather was beautifulllll, but it was a little cold.

After arriving at jamie's, I went to watch them practise with their band, ended up holding up davids folder and turning pages for him while he played his flute lol. they sounded really good! esp chen's singing, very impressive :] then they just gave up and chen started making dinner, and we all went down to the flat where gabby was embarrassed by her ex in the ags chronicle or something lol... I don't know, but there was a big chase during which jamie's yearbook was dented =P not to mention rose had drawn all over it in pen to label specific people... we had dinner, which was v nice. ty to chen and jamie's awesome parents :]

at 9.30pm, david set free the lantern that he worked so hard onn~~ and I helped with the calligraphy haha ^^ it was a surprise and it was good that it actually went up a bit, even if it fell down into the neighbour's house after it rose... it's okay, we got a few pictures and the neighbour's house was not set on fire. that's good enough I reckon. you can't think of it like your wishes going up and then crashing back down, you have to think of it like, you're sending your wishes up and the heavens are giving them back to you, ie. they will be granted :]

So, let's take a break in narration here to do some New Year's Resolutions!!

2009 resolutions:

1) stop slacking when it comes to your education - KIND OF. I have started studying for the SATs and am taking calc tutorials every monday with kim...

2) don't get distracted by stupid things - ??? still do this all the time =/

3) try new things - signed up for dragon boating next year, did debating & mediation

4) get better at old things - got better at badminton. (then got worse, but let's not go there)

5) take risks - TAKING ART AND NCEA. MIGHT NOT GET INTO AMERICAN UNI. D:

6) make new friends - lots and lots!!! tick ^^

7) get to know old acquaintances - same here~~~ tick

8) get hardout. im serious |: no more playing around, tiem to get serial about life. - ....I actually think I got more lax about life ):

So, this years NYRS???:

1) Do well on your SATs. I expect at least a 2200. Retake as many times as necessary.

2) Concentrate on school!

3) Don't ignore your friends and social life either!

4) Make the most of all the opportunities you've got in 6th form

5) Mature!!! Know when and how to handle different situations well etc.

6) Get more fit hahahaa

7) Be more independent :]

8) GET ENOUGH SLEEP

Yup I think that's a pretty good list for this year, I guess I'll review this next year this time then. Back to the narrative...

I got drunk (apparently). I still don't believe it, but I'm not one to judge since I don't know what it's meant to feel like >> I basically had like 1/4 cup of baileys mixed with milk, and I kept adding milk as I finished drinking. Anyway I ended up with a really red face and when hillie told me to get up and walk in a straight line I fell back on my chair >___> I still think that was my general lack of coordination though, but ofc people like to say that I was drunk... I could still see everything that was going on, still remember it lol and I could txt normally? Just, it felt really realy hot and like my heart was in my brain and my whole head was pulsing, and it felt like birds were flying around in my head. I drank 2L of water after that, and after a few trips to the toilet I was normal colour again and had a massive headache, so I had to have a panadol... in other words, I had like the LEAST amount of alcohol out of everyone who drank, and I had one of the most violent reactions. peanut had the same reaction as me, except she drank 1/2 cup baileys, like double the amount I had... I think that if I'd had as much as her, I would've seriously just been gone. verdict: winnie's alcohol tolerance is 0 and she will never drink again. >>

the rest of the night was a mix of GIRL TALK (with GIRLS, including will and david. =P) ie DMCs, playing singstarrr (funny story actually, I had 'never gonna give you up' stuck in my head all day today; it was like being rickrolled by myself...), and lol, eating? XD I don't really remember how all those hours passed by so quickly to be honest.

in the morning, everyone pretty much slept... I slept only for like 15 mins cuz jono was playing his weird sound clips on max volume next to my ear, apparently I slept through the lion king theme and the random mozzie sound, while david who was sleeping like 2m away was like twitching and could hear it hahahahaha... I sleep like a log..? but yeah I got woken up. it was pretty energizing for a 15 min nap though. the next 2 or so hours were spent harassing sleeping people basically. then we just had breakfast and bummed around for half a day, everyone half dead... couldn't get to sleep though for some reason. Played a few games of mahjong, won 2 lost 1, yea thats right beginner's luck every time I play cuz I forget how to play every time and have to be retaught hahaha =P so technically still a beginner..

after that, we decided to go down to the park to play basketball~! cleo got rejected by a little girl on the swing, and it was david, me & lucy against jono/jeremy/peanut or yb/wenzin/jamie which was uhh. a little unfair? david's advice: "JUST SLAP HIM!" I ended up doing that |: I'm sorry jono...

My grandpa got admitted to hospital last night because he was having breathing difficulties, he has too much liquid in his system and it's been sitting for a longer time than usual cuz dialysis is delayed due to public holidays =/ hope he turns out okay, that's not a very good way to start the new year...

Although, I can't believe today is new years. it just feels like a really long day for me lol... like, last night felt like new years cuz we were doing all the celebrations, but today is just like, "OMG. IM TIREDDDDD. CAN I SLEEP?"

...I have not slept for 38 hours starting from 7am Thursday 31st December 2009. I actually feel pretty okay in terms of energy levels, not too tired hahaha but i think my eyes are like a panda's... I guess I should actually get to sleep soon lol.

I'd like to say a massive THANK YOU to all my friends for being there for me this year, it's been great, I hope to go through BIGGER AND BETTER times with all of you in 2010!!! :] you've been there for me when I'm down to make me smile, sometimes when I've smiled you've come to make me sad, but then I try to convert some of my smile to you as well. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, but we have to try since we're friends right? YOU'RE ALL AWESOME, I love you all equally ♥

ANYWAY, HAPPY NEW YEARS TO EVERYONE! hope you had an awesome first decade of the 21st century and let's all join together to make the decades in the future even more memorable!!!

happy new year

ok I'll admit I'm late. by a lot.

I can't seem to find my list of new years resolutions from 2008. maybe I actually never made any. what a waste of a year |:

OK. 2009 NYRs:
1) stop slacking when it comes to your education
2) don't get distracted by stupid things
3) try new things
4) get better at old things
5) take risks
6) make new friends
7) get to know old acquaintances
8) get hardout. im serious |: no more playing around, tiem to get serial about life.

UR RESOLUTIONS ARE TOO VAGUE you say. lolll I don't like being specific about this stuff tho, cuz then I can do it and be like "I've done it, no more improvement required."

so yeah. that's done. -check~-

........I actually had something really important/stupid to rant about but I have forgotten about what it is. maybe next time. (: