http://mymomisafob.com
http://mydadisafob.com
Mom: Can you figure out how to use this toilet spray?
Me: (Looking at a purple bottle of Calvin Klein perfume) This is perfume…
Mom: It says it’s toilet spray, right on the box!
Me: Let me see the box.
Mom: (Hands me purple Calvin Klein box)
Me: (reads “eau de toilette”) This is NOT toilet spray. Eau de toilette is French for perfume!
Mom: I was wondering why it came in such a pretty bottle. It smells really good, do you want it?
Mom: Are you going to watch Nightlight?
Me: Um what?
Mom: Nightlight. You know, it just beat the Larry Porrey books.
[Larry Porrey = Harry Potter]
Me: …do you mean Twilight? Probably not.
Mom: Yes, Nightlight. Why not? I remember you like vampire shows, like Buddy.
Me: Mom, it’s Buffy, not Buddy.
Mom: Same things. You know what I mean.
Me: How do you get rid of mice, Dad?
Dad: Get a cat. But don’t get an lazy American fatty cat. Get a hungry Chinese cat.
[Night of prom — I'm prepared to go out with my prom date who happens to be gay]
Dad: [Date] gay?
Me: Yes… very gay.
Dad: Still… be careful. He still guy. Still might rape you.
Me: He’s gay. That means he doesn’t like girls.
Dad: Why he not like girls?
Me: He’s gay.
Dad: But why? Why he not like girls? I like girls.
Me: He likes guys the same way you like girls… it’s the same feeling.
Dad: Why he like boys?
Me: I’m leaving now!
Dad: Careful! Kick him down below if he touch you wrong!!
Mom: You OK? Mommy see on TV the hurricane come. It rain outside, Mommy worry for you.
Me: What channel are you watching?
Mom: CNN.
Me: And what state did they say the hurricane was in?
Mom: Florida.
Me: Where are we?
Mom: Texas… oh, Mommy understand now.
Dad: I got an e-mail from someone. He said, “Joseph, just wanted to touch base with you.” What does that mean, touch base with you?
Me: I think he wanted to give you an update on something, or confirm and make sure that you guys are on the same page.
Dad: Oh. So how would i use that in a sentence…”Hi John, i just want to touch with you?”
Me: What?! Don’t ever say that to him!
Dad (thinking about what he just said): …OH! NONONONO!!!
Me: OK, I’m going to Blockbuster.
Dad: Can you get me that movie, you know, that one with all the fighting… Grouchy Tiger.
Me: Uhhhh… Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon?
Dad: Yeah, that one.
Dad [to realtor]: I am interested in condoms
Me: Condos, Dad.
Dad to realtor: Do you have any condoms available in [neighborhood] for around $300K?
Me: Mom, so you know Barack Obama, he —
Mom: Huh?
Me: Obama. Barack Obama?
Mom: Oh, you mean the Pokemon?
Me: No! The guy running for president!!!
[While driving with my dad, someone cuts us off]
Dad: Fart the horn! Peter, fart it!
OHHHH GOODD LOL these are funny. And here's my own one:
"If you don't understand what I've written in chinese, you can waste money and call me when I could've just written the above in english."
lol, I understood it tho.
BUT YEAH. check it out guys. You'll have fun. (:
1 comment:
Lol your mum writes 'mum' prettily (:
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