pride, humility, & self-esteem

Something I've come to notice is that generally, the people that the general population dislikes are either really weird, annoying, or "up themselves". People really don't like it when others are arrogant and think they are the best ever. I suppose it's a convention in society to have a bit of humility; even if you think conforming is a stupid thing to do, if you're prepared to be prideful you have to have a certain amount of self esteem, because it's almost guaranteed other people will try to bring you down.

Honestly the ones that are arrogant to the point where they don't care what other people say are actually people that have great confidence and will go pretty far in this world. Let's face it; no matter how much of a saint you are, people are still gonna talk. HATERS GONNA HATE. The 'jerks' who have the inflated ego and self esteem higher than the Taipei 101 are the ones who have the upper hand. Simply put, if you don't care what other people say about you, it doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are. That's something I believe in quite strongly. It's a pity I care so much what other people think, because the more I think about it, these 'assholes' are the ones that are actually happy with themselves, their choices and their lives, and they need no validation for any of their actions from others. They don't need to compromise, they know what they want and they don't need to stop at nothing to get it.

The problem arises because a lot of the 'arrogant' people only act that way because of their low self esteem. It's a way to make themselves feel better about themselves I suppose. I mean I have a decent amount of pride, and sometimes I can feel myself getting a bit cocky about it, but actually I am quite afraid of failure and how others perceive me. Then there's the 'fishing for compliments' and boasting, just so others will congratulate you and thus you feel better about yourself. But actually this arrogance isn't intrinsic; it comes externally. Often the ones that seem the most confident are the ones that are the most afraid on the inside. But what's better, the low self esteemed guy who sits and mopes to themselves or the asshole arrogant guy? IMO the arrogant person is better. At least they have a sense of self worth; how can anyone respect you if you can't even respect yourself? In fact, if you respect yourself enough, other people won't even matter :P

So where does humility come into this? Well, it seems that the ideal is to have confidence, but be modest about it. Being prideful about what you are good at is okay, but it's also good to be humble about the things you're not good at. Accepting you have faults, I suppose. It sounds good, but more and more I see people being modest not because they really are, but just for social convention. So it makes me question whether people are actually displaying humility or are in fact just trying to fit in with the crowd. Not that there's anything wrong with that (in order to survive, one must adapt), but it's interesting. I do think that having humility while being confident is harder than being outright arrogant though. Personally I have no problem with arrogant people (seeing as I tend to transform into one on occasion), but I respect those who are humble about their accomplishments a lot more.

Pride is also everywhere in our world, it's not something we can avoid. Wars begin due to nationalism & patriotism, pride in one's country. Gay/Lesbian Pride parades are frequent occurrences as people want to show that they are proud of who they are, not ashamed. Christianity describes Pride as the mother of its 7 sins, yet the Bible states that "God said, Let us make man in our image" (Genesis 1:26), "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." (Psalms 139:14), suggesting that God would like us to love our forms... despite how the church uses the Bible as a justification for their beliefs that homosexuals are somehow inferior (but that's more of an issue of Christianity, not pride). Also paradoxically, when searching "love yourself" into google, the first thing that comes up is the greek story of Narcissus, which is suppose to discourage loving yourself too much, whereas the rest all seem to be inspirational sites aimed at low-self-esteemed people. Opinions seem to be very varied (rhymed!) when it comes to pride... In fact, even wikipedia covers both sides of the coin, stating

Pride is either a high sense of one's personal status or ego (i.e., leading to judgments of personality and character) or the specific mostly positive emotion that is a product of praise or independent self-reflection.

So, where do you stand on loving yourself? I'm just going to say, everyone should have a little pride. In fact, I think everyone does; some just have more than others. There is nothing wrong with having pride in oneself... except if you show that you have too much, you should be prepared for the judgement. And if you just have a little, don't worry :) you're beautiful and you should celebrate yourself, because if you don't, who will?

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
~Laurence J. Peter

On a completely unrelated note,



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