I am listening to dubstep and have done absolutely no work in the last 5 hours what am I doing with my life please help
in other news I was at the mail room today and I noticed the guy behind me in line was pretty cute (from just a passing glance), but anyway when he went up to the counter to give them his mailbox number this British accent came out, the kind which you hear and you immediately know that whoever it came out of must be attractive. And of course, the accent made him at least 3x over more attractive again. Some people just have all the right things in all the right places I suppose.
I will write about art at some point soon or something. I had a good long weekend though, went clubbing in Boston and had a good time, went to a campus party when I should really have gone to pottery and didn't have as great of a time, but whatever you win some you lose some I guess.
Also I did not realize that 1 tim tam counts as 1 serving. I had 2 in succession thinking 2 were 1 serving (that's how digestives are). chocolate why do you make me feel bad about myself?
20 February 2013
15 February 2013
A lost fish, eating trays, a lack of acetaldehyde dehydrogenase and a bit of work on the side
Snowstorm Nemo hit last weekend and I had one of the best nights (if not THE best night?) I've had since I came here -- sledding down Widener Library's front steps on cafeteria trays at midnight? Priceless. We had snow almost up to our knees and my lack of waterproof shoes would hinder me in the slush-filled days ahead, but in the moment it didn't matter -- what we were getting was pure, fluffy snow, sweeping across the yard horizontally in a soft blizzard and at taking away with it the feeling in my fingers and face. A yard-wide free-for-all snowball fight saw 200+ students chucking snowballs at each other and tackling each other in the cold, forgetting about work for the week and settling into the weekend as the snow melts in their back pockets and leaves a wet patch on the futon. So. Much. Fun.
Live life? Water pong on a makeshift pong table and a suitcase full of beer -- the backup plan for the quickly dry bar at that house party that everyone shows up to. The pounding bass vibrating five stories high as we approach the penthouse, the drop in the music accompanying a growing in volume as we step in the door. Glow glow glow glow blacklight smiles. How does something so liquid honey in color and consistency paint my face red? Oh right, yeah, I'm Asian.
Conclusion: Last weekend was fun.
yay snow!
For the future... I think I would like a house or apartment with anything I could ever want in it. I would have things like longboards and rollerblades and a basketball court and gym in the basement. A dark room to develop film in and a projector room to show films. A lab full of electronics to play with 3 monitors to a desktop computer. A fully shelved grand bookcase in the study that is almost like a mini library, and a walk in color-organized wardrobe with a wall dedicated to just shoes. Also shiny cars in the garage. I'm so materialistic. It's not even that I'd use all of these things, in fact I know I probably wouldn't in day to day life. But it's in times like these when one gets weird urges that it's so convenient to just have these kinds of things around. Ah well, maybe when I'm rich.
Yeah I obviously have a creative urge right now hence why I am describing everyday events with overflourished language. I haven't written for so long, I wanted to update. But when I sat down to write because I had nothing else to do and didn't feel like doing anything else, these words just came pouring out. Write like crazy, live like mad -- just do whatever you feel like.
23 January 2013
There is no place like 127.0.0.1
3 years in China
16 years in New Zealand
4 months in America
29 days in New Zealand
Home changes all the time. The longer you've been somewhere, the harder it gets to leave; the human tendency to 'settle' and colonize a certain area and call it 'home' is inescapable. It's so easy to get used to routine and often we're disturbed when we have to move. Of course there are prolonged travels, there are nomads and gypsies -- but in the end, we all come from somewhere and in the end we end up somewhere.
A certain kind of emotion is stirring in me again, not nearly as potent as it was when I first left this place but definitely the pain of severance rears itself against my nerves these few days. I will be gone for a longer time than I was before. Lots of things happen in a year, people can change a lot in a year. Maybe it will be interesting in the end.
So, where is home for me now? Maybe it is exciting to always be moving around at this age. Never really belonging anywhere, always darting between this place and the next and making new discoveries? Or perhaps... Home is where the heart is; home is 127.0.0.1.
Whoever I need to call, whenever I miss them -- these days we can be connected through the internet. This is the home that has never changed through the years for me. I was first exposed to the internet at the age of 6 or 7 by my dad, who gave me a personal computer in my room at the time. I set up my first email address at 9 and started using MSN. This was the beginning of a beautiful 10 year relationship that put me in contact with more people than you could ever imagine. Then facebook came along, naturally, and nowadays it seems anyone I want to keep in touch with is only a few clicks away. Whether in the northern or southern hemisphere, regardless of the miles that separate us, the simple act of logging in is enough to teleport our hearts closer together. I think there's something very homely in that, as if there is some virtual country where we can just appear and disappear from whenever and we feel close to the ones we love.
It's like a town right? You can go to the pub and catch up with friends (Facebook), hang out in a variety of places (MMOs, dota/sc2/lol), go to the library (Wikipedia), or to school (edX, TED), go to the movies (YouTube), go shopping (asos, amazon, ebay), do dodgy back alley drug deals (craigslist)...the list goes on. Honestly it's almost like an idyllic society where the only thing you don't do is eat. It's a utopia where people escape from their daily lives, but it's just as real as any other environment -- and because of that, we should aim to keep it accessible for everyone. It's almost more equal than the physical world in this way, since on the internet everyone starts off equal and everyone has an equal opportunity to resources regardless of where they are from.
Therefore, the death of Aaron Swartz is of course a tragedy -- one of the leading activists promoting open-source and free knowledge and information, purportedly driven to suicide by an arbitrary lawsuit. The upcoming and already-existing cyber warfare is probably only going to grow in the next few years, with governments repeatedly trying to instill more control and censorship, in an effort to create some kind of hierarchical system within the web. But let's think about this -- what we currently experience is perhaps the true democracy; the internet is truly run by the people. Anyone can become revered, and tossed aside again in a matter of seconds, depending on what the majority want or say, regardless of who they are in real life or what kind of background they come from. It's fast paced, instant, and absolutely addictive. And yet, the internet seems to be running generally smoother than the real world right now. Maybe we should let it be and see where it ends up, if only as a simulation model in a study of interest?
Obviously more complications come by in the physical world, but there's no need to instill the same level of control we have there into the virtual because of that, right? For some, it is the only remaining voice they have to voice opinion, and the access to free knowledge grows a better educated population not only within countries that can afford it but for the entire world -- we learn so much about people in places we have never even heard of, all within the time it takes to read a single forum post. For many, it is but an invaluable tool, and that is enough. But for me, it is one of the places I can truly consider home, the home I have grown up in and have relied on to be the baseline support that never changes. I'd like to keep living in this home with all my friends please, so let's try to keep it that way.
3 years in China
16 years in New Zealand
4 months in America
29 days in New Zealand
For everything else, there'sMastercard the Internet. :)
Keep in touch guys, I'll miss you kiwis in the next year eh.
16 years in New Zealand
4 months in America
29 days in New Zealand
Home changes all the time. The longer you've been somewhere, the harder it gets to leave; the human tendency to 'settle' and colonize a certain area and call it 'home' is inescapable. It's so easy to get used to routine and often we're disturbed when we have to move. Of course there are prolonged travels, there are nomads and gypsies -- but in the end, we all come from somewhere and in the end we end up somewhere.
A certain kind of emotion is stirring in me again, not nearly as potent as it was when I first left this place but definitely the pain of severance rears itself against my nerves these few days. I will be gone for a longer time than I was before. Lots of things happen in a year, people can change a lot in a year. Maybe it will be interesting in the end.
So, where is home for me now? Maybe it is exciting to always be moving around at this age. Never really belonging anywhere, always darting between this place and the next and making new discoveries? Or perhaps... Home is where the heart is; home is 127.0.0.1.
(btw, does anyone know why pictures of the internet visualized are always blue? what's up with that)
Whoever I need to call, whenever I miss them -- these days we can be connected through the internet. This is the home that has never changed through the years for me. I was first exposed to the internet at the age of 6 or 7 by my dad, who gave me a personal computer in my room at the time. I set up my first email address at 9 and started using MSN. This was the beginning of a beautiful 10 year relationship that put me in contact with more people than you could ever imagine. Then facebook came along, naturally, and nowadays it seems anyone I want to keep in touch with is only a few clicks away. Whether in the northern or southern hemisphere, regardless of the miles that separate us, the simple act of logging in is enough to teleport our hearts closer together. I think there's something very homely in that, as if there is some virtual country where we can just appear and disappear from whenever and we feel close to the ones we love.
It's like a town right? You can go to the pub and catch up with friends (Facebook), hang out in a variety of places (MMOs, dota/sc2/lol), go to the library (Wikipedia), or to school (edX, TED), go to the movies (YouTube), go shopping (asos, amazon, ebay), do dodgy back alley drug deals (craigslist)...the list goes on. Honestly it's almost like an idyllic society where the only thing you don't do is eat. It's a utopia where people escape from their daily lives, but it's just as real as any other environment -- and because of that, we should aim to keep it accessible for everyone. It's almost more equal than the physical world in this way, since on the internet everyone starts off equal and everyone has an equal opportunity to resources regardless of where they are from.
Therefore, the death of Aaron Swartz is of course a tragedy -- one of the leading activists promoting open-source and free knowledge and information, purportedly driven to suicide by an arbitrary lawsuit. The upcoming and already-existing cyber warfare is probably only going to grow in the next few years, with governments repeatedly trying to instill more control and censorship, in an effort to create some kind of hierarchical system within the web. But let's think about this -- what we currently experience is perhaps the true democracy; the internet is truly run by the people. Anyone can become revered, and tossed aside again in a matter of seconds, depending on what the majority want or say, regardless of who they are in real life or what kind of background they come from. It's fast paced, instant, and absolutely addictive. And yet, the internet seems to be running generally smoother than the real world right now. Maybe we should let it be and see where it ends up, if only as a simulation model in a study of interest?
Obviously more complications come by in the physical world, but there's no need to instill the same level of control we have there into the virtual because of that, right? For some, it is the only remaining voice they have to voice opinion, and the access to free knowledge grows a better educated population not only within countries that can afford it but for the entire world -- we learn so much about people in places we have never even heard of, all within the time it takes to read a single forum post. For many, it is but an invaluable tool, and that is enough. But for me, it is one of the places I can truly consider home, the home I have grown up in and have relied on to be the baseline support that never changes. I'd like to keep living in this home with all my friends please, so let's try to keep it that way.
3 years in China
16 years in New Zealand
4 months in America
29 days in New Zealand
For everything else, there's
Keep in touch guys, I'll miss you kiwis in the next year eh.
14 January 2013
The strange phenomenon of suddenly not having enough time in the day
There is something about primary school, intermediate and even early high school summer holidays that all kid suffer through: an overabundance of time and nothing to do with it.
Actually though, time is the most precious resource of all. And now that I'm old and wrinkly (I'm turning 20 this year, oh gosh), for the first time in my life I feel like I don't have enough of it. Only about a month ago, when Chencake was talking to me about his winterbreak plans, he mentioned that he had so many good ideas and things to do and there was just not enough time to do them. I couldn't work out at that stage how that could be possible; in my mind things always have a set time and it's always possible to do what you need to do in a day. But lately, I've discovered that sometimes that's just not the case. Between going out and meeting old friends, working on Rover and my own personal projects and surfing the net to dip my toes in some other learning opportunities, I've discovered sooooo many new things that I want to do and learn and the simple impossibility of doing them all.
And yes, I totally realize the apparent irony of me blogging right now even though I have so much other stuff to do (theoretically), but the thing is none of this is stuff I have to do -- rather, it's stuff I'd like to do. I guess blogging comes into that as well, my writing as of late has been boring at best and there's nothing much coming to mind about what to write about. Someone told me to write a book but honestly there's nothing I can think of to talk about (that's a lie tbh, stuff comes to me all the time but I just don't have the time or actual strong motivation to sit down and put it all in words). Though, I've decided that writing a book at some point in my life would be pretty cool. Getting published seems difficult though. If you took all the stuff I blogged over the last 5 years, it would probably equate to more than 50 000 words, so that's pretty much a novel.
It's gotten to the point where I try so hard to stuff as much as I can into one day, allocating mornings, afternoons and evenings separately to dedicated tasks instead of whole days like I used to. Actually I quite like this way of doing things because when I used to allocate days to certain tasks I'd end up procrastinating for half of it anyway. Also it's made a difference that I live further out from the city center now so that I'll drive out like 20km, come home and drive out 20km again later in the day. It's kind of weird because I'd never do that before, since I'd think wow it's so far away (even though it's closer than where I live now), I might as well just stay here and not go home. The fact that I live further way has meant more time on the road since it's more normal to have to drive everywhere (flawed logic it appears now that I think about it) as opposed to being used to only having to go 5km at a time so 10km appears further hahaha.
My break so far (menial. so menial. whoever's reading can ignore this, it's more for my own records):
Dec 19: last exam. invited out to go party with Arthur before he flew home but too tired so didn't go ``sorry arthur ):``
20: packing, played some guild wars, actually a rather large waste of a day tbh but it was good just to chillax
21: saying goodbye to everyone, went over to my cousins place, hotpot for dinner in chinatown. mum's birthday in nz. called but she was in a business meeting.
22: decided to learn vim in the morning. went out to boston for lunch and explored, was freaking cold, had 20oz ribeye steak for dinner which was amazeballs.
23: dimsum for brunch, sent to airport after that
24: disappeared somewhere between san francisco and sydney
25: arrived in auckland at 430pm. drove by the old house to see the renovations (looks like a wreck). Tony and Billy swung by to get their Nexus4s before I'd even gotten home properly. They went to KFC. I went home to shower. Had a nice catchup with the family after dinner at home. Realized I had no clothes (luckily i had 1 extra pair of underwear in my suitcase) because it's all covered in plastic under the renovations.
26: swung by the new warehouse on pah road to pick up some clothes and shoes for the month. went over to dressmart to do some boxing day shopping and see Ling Brian and Wendy. had lunch at nandos. Had L&P for the first time in 5 months (tasted great). drove out east to Brian's house and watched Rainman, had dinner at Kanda. Also ran into Kun at dressmart and made plans for Saturday.
27: Lunch in New Lynn with family. Coffee with Jamie and Billy at. Saw Angel to give her her wallet. Can't really remember what else I did hum.
28: One Tree Hill with the family, had lunch at the cafe there, pretty good. Mission bay in the afternoon after that, enjoying the nice weather. A lot of people out because of the nice weather.
29: Get together at Kun's at night, was good to see everyone again... cannot for the life of me remember what I did during the day. Oh yeah I think I went to the gym in the afternoon or something. I definitely saw Yujie at some point during these days. Went to KFC for lunch after gym. That's right I remember now haha.
30: Left for the road trip. Drove for half the day, KFC for lunch in Whangarei, had water and pretty scenery thrust in our faces at Whangarei falls, arrived in Kerikeri in the afternoon, some ppl went for a swim in the brown water in the river next to the camping grounds.
31: Went snorkeling on Motuarohia Island. Sharp rocks. Cut my finger and foot, though many were worse off than me (used at least 15 bandaids out of my bag that afternoon). Got sunburnt. Saw cute fish though. Chased the last sunset of the year to a cute little bay and caught some fish. Entered new year inebriated back at the cabin after a shot of jaegerbomb and tequila. Slept at 1 or 2am though (relatively early).
Jan 1: Most people wanted to have a chillax day so changed plans of going sand duning. Drove out to Tane Mahuta. Took the wrong route and ended up in the wrong neighbourhood. Looked like the kind of place where murders happen in the middle of the woods. The flowers were pretty though. Stopped by a cafe for lunch, there was a pretty swimming hole nearby. Made for very nice pics. Didn't want to burn to a crisp after my sunburn which was now v. painful so didn't go swimming.
2: Sand dunes and Cape Reinga. Same old story, been there before (dat Cape. I've been there like 4-5 times now).
3: Drove back to Auckland. stopped by a beach in the morning but it was raining so kind of cold (suddenly -- was hot at first). Waves were good for surfing. Driving over the harbour bridge is nice. I like the view of the city from up there.
4: Met up with Ling to see him off before he flies back to Abu Dhabi. Gym in the afternoon, redyed my roots, dinner at Daikoku, saw Wreck it Ralph.
5: Started doing Rover stuff on a regular basis, mostly 1-2 hours every day from 9.30-midday ish. Went to the gym again because ppl about to go back to work and wanted to make the most of spare time. Lunch at Archie's. Went for a nature walk in the Waitakere Ranges because my parents felt like it.
6: Rover in the morning. Saw Daniel before he leaves for Taiwan/Korea in the afternoon. Had a good catchup and talk about medschool. Dinner with Shu, Steph and Laina at Portofino in Mission Bay.
7: Morning Rover. Gym around midday. Dinner out in Henderson. Games night at Dora's in the evening. Died first round 3 times in a row in a game of Mafia (even when I was the Mafia because narrator Jisu stuffed up haawww such is my life, obvs nobody trusts me)
8: Morning Rover. Working on my CS portfolio. Went to get a haircut though he just really layered it tbh, it's not much shorter and even I couldn't tell the difference lol, the front is a lot nicer now though. Life of Pi at night.
9: Morning Rover. Supposed to go to the gym but Billy got cheap Heineken Open tickets so went to watch David Ferrer play. Was my first professional live tennis match, enjoyed it a lot and was apparently on TV during the coverage hahah. Had dinner at the Don. Was tempted to try the salmon sashimi on rice but in the end opted for the usual udon (i'm boring I know)
10: Little brother's birthday. Took him out for lunch at Bruce Lee's with grandma, went shopping (bought him a sweater and a pair of jeans) and froyo at the beach and we just chilled. Dinner at Thai Village, black forest birthday cake (♥), went to have coffee at Circus after that with a whole group of people.
11: Morning Rover. Lunch with Tom at Bruce Lee's, walked around Newmarket for a while with nothing to do cos Tom went back to work, had a coffee at 255 Cafe because they have 1 hour complimentary wifi, tried hotspot tethering for the first time (it works), found free wifi on top of 277 food court. Hillie got off work, went to dinner at Hansan with her, Ella and my brother, and then went to see Moonrise Kingdom by the Viaduct in Silo Park (pretty cool, there's like an outdoor cinema and they use a projector to show movies on the side of the Silo. a lot of people were there and the atmosphere was nice).
12: Rover Rover Rover. Deadline was soon. Went to iStorm with Cherry and Vicky and played Jenga, then went to the Thai restaurant around there to have their $13 lunch special (it was actually really nice though the restaurant looked really empty). Went Opshopping on K'road, some of the stuff they have there is pretty cool.
13: Finishing up layouts on Rover in the morning. Jessy and Maria's 18th in Mt Eden in the afternoon, pigeons ate the cake (no biggie), was good to see all the kids again. I was the oldest at the party oh sigh. Dinner with Yujie and her parents after that at Sun World, and then to Will's where we played pictionary and Jamie kind of failed at drawing a horse and Jamie and Laina show popculture illiteracy when they could not guess my drawing of The Big Bang Theory even though everyone else in the room could.
14: Lunch with Tian and everyone else at Nolbune (the main point was for me to see Tian, but I actually ran into him 2 days earlier when hanging out with Cherry derp. nonetheless was good to see everyone again). iStorm with Tony Laina Steph and Will, played Jenga, Will ragequits b/c of constant loss, I go to gym alone because I feel like a blob and find out I've gained even more weight (wtf is going on, I'm eating less here as well because it's so hot I don't need that much energy). And here I am now.
15:Going to go up north past Ruakaka to some family friend's beach house with the family. Drove 2 hours up to One Tree Point and spent a few hours there with a family friend. Then back again 2 hours. Had dinner out with grandma and brother at a pretty crappy taiwanese restaurant in newmarket (My Kitchen is much better on dominion road)
16: Beach with John, Sera and Sailesh, then dinner with the Mollies. Got chucked in the fountain and the ocean and had seaweed flung at me ): But it was fun. Also was good to catch up with everyone, had a nice chat with Angel in the car when driving her home. Had frozen yoghurt in town and failed at getting a sample lololol, tbh I wasn't going to buy one but then the stuff came out so fast that I felt bad and thought I should just pay for it ...
17: Orthodontist at 2pm, tea with Jack. Had a good catch up and talked about random stuff like we usually do. I quite like my sporadic Jack times. He had lovely nail polished hands, so pretty. :) Went to dinner at wooden board kitchen before Jamie leaves, was pretty freaking good for the price.
18: Applying for internships, had coffee with gur, went to the gym, dinner at Hansan and movie night at Wenbo's with the engineers, though turned out to be more like youtube night and we slept hahaha. Sleeping on the ground is pretty tiring... Felt sad driving away from the shore. Still love the sight of the city going over the bridge.
19: Got home, then got whisked out again pretty much straight away for a drive out to East Auckland/Beachlands with the family. I was just really tired so I napped a bit and walked around on the beach I guess. I was getting pretty sick of the scenery, missed college a bit because everyone was going back around this time. Dinner with family friends.
20: Coffee with MKD and the STCC art students, Florentine was closed randomly for inexplicable reasons so we ended up going to Rosehip in Parnell. Their eggs were good, though it was rather expensive in the end (as cafe food tends to be). I learned what skordalia and panchetta are. Drove into town and went to the gym with Yujie afterwards, where we did Pilates :) it was good, though broke my cardio lol. Had a good time just catching up with her one on one since I never really got her to myself when Jamie was here :P
21: Supposed to go to the beach with the EGGS girls and Yujie, but it looked cloudy so we ended up going to town and coffee instead. Had a good chat, eggs benedict at esquires, then istorm and played some dance central 2. I am horrible at copying moves on screen.
22: Actually went to the beach with EGGS girls and Yujie. Then Will organized a dinner with everyone at India Gate so I could see everyone before I left, which was nice of him. Because I wouldn't have done that myself haha. That feel when you know you're not gonna see someone for the next year :/
23: Went to see Les Mis with Karl, had a good catch up over lunch since I haven't really talked to him since I got back, out of everyone I think he's most different/changed the most in the last 4 months. Went to the gym, went to the orthodontist, bought $30 worth of chocolate biscuits and candy at the supermarket in preparation for America, came home for dinner and then went out for final coffee with the close friends... it was a good time actually, but I do feel a bit sad when we say goodbye and have our final hugs ..
24: Pack. Shower. Final clothes wash. Fly away!
I guess I'll update the rest as it happens. I think it's just good to have a full record of everything I did. Gotta find some time to apply to internships, brush up on algorithms and basic math, at least somewhat make a 4 year plan so I don't end up taking like 6 years to finish my degree due to poor planning, and prob apply to get involved with CS50 at some point hum.... werk werk werk. Also I want to play through the SC2 campaign sometime, though my laptop seems to overheat a bit. Oh yeah my Dad also tried to get me a SSD but the cloning isn't working very well, I've taken apart my laptop like 5 times in the last 3 days cos the thing just won't boot no matter how I try to clone it :/
Derp time for Guild Wars 2.
Actually though, time is the most precious resource of all. And now that I'm old and wrinkly (I'm turning 20 this year, oh gosh), for the first time in my life I feel like I don't have enough of it. Only about a month ago, when Chencake was talking to me about his winterbreak plans, he mentioned that he had so many good ideas and things to do and there was just not enough time to do them. I couldn't work out at that stage how that could be possible; in my mind things always have a set time and it's always possible to do what you need to do in a day. But lately, I've discovered that sometimes that's just not the case. Between going out and meeting old friends, working on Rover and my own personal projects and surfing the net to dip my toes in some other learning opportunities, I've discovered sooooo many new things that I want to do and learn and the simple impossibility of doing them all.
And yes, I totally realize the apparent irony of me blogging right now even though I have so much other stuff to do (theoretically), but the thing is none of this is stuff I have to do -- rather, it's stuff I'd like to do. I guess blogging comes into that as well, my writing as of late has been boring at best and there's nothing much coming to mind about what to write about. Someone told me to write a book but honestly there's nothing I can think of to talk about (that's a lie tbh, stuff comes to me all the time but I just don't have the time or actual strong motivation to sit down and put it all in words). Though, I've decided that writing a book at some point in my life would be pretty cool. Getting published seems difficult though. If you took all the stuff I blogged over the last 5 years, it would probably equate to more than 50 000 words, so that's pretty much a novel.
It's gotten to the point where I try so hard to stuff as much as I can into one day, allocating mornings, afternoons and evenings separately to dedicated tasks instead of whole days like I used to. Actually I quite like this way of doing things because when I used to allocate days to certain tasks I'd end up procrastinating for half of it anyway. Also it's made a difference that I live further out from the city center now so that I'll drive out like 20km, come home and drive out 20km again later in the day. It's kind of weird because I'd never do that before, since I'd think wow it's so far away (even though it's closer than where I live now), I might as well just stay here and not go home. The fact that I live further way has meant more time on the road since it's more normal to have to drive everywhere (flawed logic it appears now that I think about it) as opposed to being used to only having to go 5km at a time so 10km appears further hahaha.
My break so far (menial. so menial. whoever's reading can ignore this, it's more for my own records):
Dec 19: last exam. invited out to go party with Arthur before he flew home but too tired so didn't go ``sorry arthur ):``
20: packing, played some guild wars, actually a rather large waste of a day tbh but it was good just to chillax
21: saying goodbye to everyone, went over to my cousins place, hotpot for dinner in chinatown. mum's birthday in nz. called but she was in a business meeting.
22: decided to learn vim in the morning. went out to boston for lunch and explored, was freaking cold, had 20oz ribeye steak for dinner which was amazeballs.
23: dimsum for brunch, sent to airport after that
24: disappeared somewhere between san francisco and sydney
25: arrived in auckland at 430pm. drove by the old house to see the renovations (looks like a wreck). Tony and Billy swung by to get their Nexus4s before I'd even gotten home properly. They went to KFC. I went home to shower. Had a nice catchup with the family after dinner at home. Realized I had no clothes (luckily i had 1 extra pair of underwear in my suitcase) because it's all covered in plastic under the renovations.
26: swung by the new warehouse on pah road to pick up some clothes and shoes for the month. went over to dressmart to do some boxing day shopping and see Ling Brian and Wendy. had lunch at nandos. Had L&P for the first time in 5 months (tasted great). drove out east to Brian's house and watched Rainman, had dinner at Kanda. Also ran into Kun at dressmart and made plans for Saturday.
27: Lunch in New Lynn with family. Coffee with Jamie and Billy at. Saw Angel to give her her wallet. Can't really remember what else I did hum.
28: One Tree Hill with the family, had lunch at the cafe there, pretty good. Mission bay in the afternoon after that, enjoying the nice weather. A lot of people out because of the nice weather.
29: Get together at Kun's at night, was good to see everyone again... cannot for the life of me remember what I did during the day. Oh yeah I think I went to the gym in the afternoon or something. I definitely saw Yujie at some point during these days. Went to KFC for lunch after gym. That's right I remember now haha.
30: Left for the road trip. Drove for half the day, KFC for lunch in Whangarei, had water and pretty scenery thrust in our faces at Whangarei falls, arrived in Kerikeri in the afternoon, some ppl went for a swim in the brown water in the river next to the camping grounds.
31: Went snorkeling on Motuarohia Island. Sharp rocks. Cut my finger and foot, though many were worse off than me (used at least 15 bandaids out of my bag that afternoon). Got sunburnt. Saw cute fish though. Chased the last sunset of the year to a cute little bay and caught some fish. Entered new year inebriated back at the cabin after a shot of jaegerbomb and tequila. Slept at 1 or 2am though (relatively early).
Jan 1: Most people wanted to have a chillax day so changed plans of going sand duning. Drove out to Tane Mahuta. Took the wrong route and ended up in the wrong neighbourhood. Looked like the kind of place where murders happen in the middle of the woods. The flowers were pretty though. Stopped by a cafe for lunch, there was a pretty swimming hole nearby. Made for very nice pics. Didn't want to burn to a crisp after my sunburn which was now v. painful so didn't go swimming.
2: Sand dunes and Cape Reinga. Same old story, been there before (dat Cape. I've been there like 4-5 times now).
3: Drove back to Auckland. stopped by a beach in the morning but it was raining so kind of cold (suddenly -- was hot at first). Waves were good for surfing. Driving over the harbour bridge is nice. I like the view of the city from up there.
4: Met up with Ling to see him off before he flies back to Abu Dhabi. Gym in the afternoon, redyed my roots, dinner at Daikoku, saw Wreck it Ralph.
5: Started doing Rover stuff on a regular basis, mostly 1-2 hours every day from 9.30-midday ish. Went to the gym again because ppl about to go back to work and wanted to make the most of spare time. Lunch at Archie's. Went for a nature walk in the Waitakere Ranges because my parents felt like it.
6: Rover in the morning. Saw Daniel before he leaves for Taiwan/Korea in the afternoon. Had a good catchup and talk about medschool. Dinner with Shu, Steph and Laina at Portofino in Mission Bay.
7: Morning Rover. Gym around midday. Dinner out in Henderson. Games night at Dora's in the evening. Died first round 3 times in a row in a game of Mafia (even when I was the Mafia because narrator Jisu stuffed up haawww such is my life, obvs nobody trusts me)
8: Morning Rover. Working on my CS portfolio. Went to get a haircut though he just really layered it tbh, it's not much shorter and even I couldn't tell the difference lol, the front is a lot nicer now though. Life of Pi at night.
9: Morning Rover. Supposed to go to the gym but Billy got cheap Heineken Open tickets so went to watch David Ferrer play. Was my first professional live tennis match, enjoyed it a lot and was apparently on TV during the coverage hahah. Had dinner at the Don. Was tempted to try the salmon sashimi on rice but in the end opted for the usual udon (i'm boring I know)
10: Little brother's birthday. Took him out for lunch at Bruce Lee's with grandma, went shopping (bought him a sweater and a pair of jeans) and froyo at the beach and we just chilled. Dinner at Thai Village, black forest birthday cake (♥), went to have coffee at Circus after that with a whole group of people.
11: Morning Rover. Lunch with Tom at Bruce Lee's, walked around Newmarket for a while with nothing to do cos Tom went back to work, had a coffee at 255 Cafe because they have 1 hour complimentary wifi, tried hotspot tethering for the first time (it works), found free wifi on top of 277 food court. Hillie got off work, went to dinner at Hansan with her, Ella and my brother, and then went to see Moonrise Kingdom by the Viaduct in Silo Park (pretty cool, there's like an outdoor cinema and they use a projector to show movies on the side of the Silo. a lot of people were there and the atmosphere was nice).
12: Rover Rover Rover. Deadline was soon. Went to iStorm with Cherry and Vicky and played Jenga, then went to the Thai restaurant around there to have their $13 lunch special (it was actually really nice though the restaurant looked really empty). Went Opshopping on K'road, some of the stuff they have there is pretty cool.
13: Finishing up layouts on Rover in the morning. Jessy and Maria's 18th in Mt Eden in the afternoon, pigeons ate the cake (no biggie), was good to see all the kids again. I was the oldest at the party oh sigh. Dinner with Yujie and her parents after that at Sun World, and then to Will's where we played pictionary and Jamie kind of failed at drawing a horse and Jamie and Laina show popculture illiteracy when they could not guess my drawing of The Big Bang Theory even though everyone else in the room could.
14: Lunch with Tian and everyone else at Nolbune (the main point was for me to see Tian, but I actually ran into him 2 days earlier when hanging out with Cherry derp. nonetheless was good to see everyone again). iStorm with Tony Laina Steph and Will, played Jenga, Will ragequits b/c of constant loss, I go to gym alone because I feel like a blob and find out I've gained even more weight (wtf is going on, I'm eating less here as well because it's so hot I don't need that much energy). And here I am now.
15:
16: Beach with John, Sera and Sailesh, then dinner with the Mollies. Got chucked in the fountain and the ocean and had seaweed flung at me ): But it was fun. Also was good to catch up with everyone, had a nice chat with Angel in the car when driving her home. Had frozen yoghurt in town and failed at getting a sample lololol, tbh I wasn't going to buy one but then the stuff came out so fast that I felt bad and thought I should just pay for it ...
17: Orthodontist at 2pm, tea with Jack. Had a good catch up and talked about random stuff like we usually do. I quite like my sporadic Jack times. He had lovely nail polished hands, so pretty. :) Went to dinner at wooden board kitchen before Jamie leaves, was pretty freaking good for the price.
18: Applying for internships, had coffee with gur, went to the gym, dinner at Hansan and movie night at Wenbo's with the engineers, though turned out to be more like youtube night and we slept hahaha. Sleeping on the ground is pretty tiring... Felt sad driving away from the shore. Still love the sight of the city going over the bridge.
19: Got home, then got whisked out again pretty much straight away for a drive out to East Auckland/Beachlands with the family. I was just really tired so I napped a bit and walked around on the beach I guess. I was getting pretty sick of the scenery, missed college a bit because everyone was going back around this time. Dinner with family friends.
20: Coffee with MKD and the STCC art students, Florentine was closed randomly for inexplicable reasons so we ended up going to Rosehip in Parnell. Their eggs were good, though it was rather expensive in the end (as cafe food tends to be). I learned what skordalia and panchetta are. Drove into town and went to the gym with Yujie afterwards, where we did Pilates :) it was good, though broke my cardio lol. Had a good time just catching up with her one on one since I never really got her to myself when Jamie was here :P
21: Supposed to go to the beach with the EGGS girls and Yujie, but it looked cloudy so we ended up going to town and coffee instead. Had a good chat, eggs benedict at esquires, then istorm and played some dance central 2. I am horrible at copying moves on screen.
22: Actually went to the beach with EGGS girls and Yujie. Then Will organized a dinner with everyone at India Gate so I could see everyone before I left, which was nice of him. Because I wouldn't have done that myself haha. That feel when you know you're not gonna see someone for the next year :/
23: Went to see Les Mis with Karl, had a good catch up over lunch since I haven't really talked to him since I got back, out of everyone I think he's most different/changed the most in the last 4 months. Went to the gym, went to the orthodontist, bought $30 worth of chocolate biscuits and candy at the supermarket in preparation for America, came home for dinner and then went out for final coffee with the close friends... it was a good time actually, but I do feel a bit sad when we say goodbye and have our final hugs ..
24: Pack. Shower. Final clothes wash. Fly away!
I guess I'll update the rest as it happens. I think it's just good to have a full record of everything I did. Gotta find some time to apply to internships, brush up on algorithms and basic math, at least somewhat make a 4 year plan so I don't end up taking like 6 years to finish my degree due to poor planning, and prob apply to get involved with CS50 at some point hum.... werk werk werk. Also I want to play through the SC2 campaign sometime, though my laptop seems to overheat a bit. Oh yeah my Dad also tried to get me a SSD but the cloning isn't working very well, I've taken apart my laptop like 5 times in the last 3 days cos the thing just won't boot no matter how I try to clone it :/
Derp time for Guild Wars 2.
03 January 2013
And here we go again. 2013
The Last Sunset
NZ is a lot more beautiful than I remember, if that's even possible. I just got back from a 5 day road trip with friends over new years, where I actually made use of my camera for the first time properly (took over 1200 shots over that time haha). The story behind that photo... we wanted to catch the last sunset of the year, we were trying to find a high point around Kerikeri and we couldn't get to the coastline, it was about 2 minutes until sunset and we hit the end of a road we had been going back and forth on (did 4 U-Turns!), we figured at that point we couldn't really do anything except go forward and lo and behold, we found the cutest bay with an awesome view of the sunset. We also managed to catch some fish there, and it was awesome for photos :) so that went much better than expected. Sometimes the best experiences are unplanned.
Anyway the road trip was a lot of fun, I didn't have many expectations of it beforehand, to be honest I only really agreed to go because I had nothing else to do over new years so I thought heck, why not. It's the first new years I've spent in New Zealand since 2010. Northland is freaking beautiful in the summer, I don't even know how else to put it honestly, so here's a scenery picspam.
It's the time of year when I make my new list of NYRs and look back at last year's and see how well I've done!
2012:
1) do your best in uni. No slacking off even if other people say it's easy - get your grades first and then play around :)
I didn't miss a single class this whole semester! And even at AU I didn't miss many lectures either. I guess I did reasonably on exams, could have been better but I can't complain about my grades. I also really enjoyed the rest of college this year as well, growing up and meeting new people and all that, so overall I think I did a good job of balancing work/play this year.
2) if you are in America by the time you read this again, you are the man.
Ok so I'm in NZ right now but the general gist of this is HIGH FIVE PAST WINNIE you did a good job on your applications. 2011 Winnie I love you so much for putting in the hard hours so that I can live such an awesome life right now (ofc also thanks to family and friends for continued support haha, it was a group effort obviously).
3) try new things - especially in uni, look for the things that might pique some genuine passion. Find the spark you lack.
I think I tried a lot of new stuff this year. Moving to a new country and reinventing the self, trying out archery, taking econ for the first time, taking a computer science class on a whim and discovering what might turn into a major. Wow actually if I think about the year, in January I had no idea what I was doing in uni. I applied to Engineering/Arts and nothing else because that's what I wrote on my Scholarship form, I disregarded Architecture altogether, in hindsight that might have been because of a subconscious thought that I would be leaving the country so I didn't take my AU applications as seriously which is probably bad, but it paid off. Actually a BA/BE would not have been bad for me anyway, but I was going to major in Film/Media Studies except none of the classes fit with the first year Engineering schedule, so I decided to take Compsci 101 and Econ 111 instead -- both things I'd never really tried before. I discovered I like programming and I learned a lot about the world in Economics (it's actually applicable to everything I swear, it's just too bad I'm not good at it haha but I learned a lot this year through Econ 111 and Ec10). I also tried new hobbies like Archery -- I was just walking around the extracurriculars fair and saw the stall and signed up. Actually, I was really into Archery when I was younger and always wanted to try it because it seemed awesome to be able to shoot arrows, and now I actually do it :D Oh also I went to an intro breakdancing session where I learned the basic 6 step and baby freeze which I am still useless at, but it was fun.Trying new things is pretty cool, I want to do more of that.
4) GO AND FREAKING. WORK OUT YOU FAT SLOB.
Ok so Billy and Will somehow convinced me this year to start working out at the gym with them, which I never thought would happen to be honest but I really enjoy it. It turned out to be easier than I expected actually, just a little bit every few days makes you feel really good even if your body is tired. It's a pity my routine kind of broke when I moved to America because of other things, I really want to put more time into gymming actually in the next year since it makes you feel good. As a result though, I got fatter when I returned from the US compared to how I was at the beginning of the year even though I worked out more this year =.= Dedication is key zzz. And I gotta lay off the honey butter on Sundays at Annenberg clearly.
5) get a job and earn some money :) becoming more independent even when support is there
Oh sup CNSST tutoring job. Oh sup NCEA Campus tutoring job. Oh sup HSA Rover. This year was a good year for job exp. Oh yeah and there was that one afternoon at Bakers Delight where I almost dropped a platter of pastries and realized those kinds of jobs just aren't for me hahaha. Man I actually did a lot this year now that I think about it, tutoring feels like soooo long ago but it was only within the last 12 months. Crazyyyyy.
6) be socially conscious
I'm not exactly sure what this means ._. Sorry Past Winnie. I'm sure your intentions were good. If it helps, I gave $3.50 to a contact juggler the other day at mission bay? He was pretty legit though.
7) keep in touch with old friends
I did, I think. Well it's been a rocky patch in terms of friendship since I moved countries. Hopefully things return (/have returned?) to normal. I met a lot of new people this year through uni and college as well though, its been cool. It's also been kind of hard to keep in contact with certain people from high school -- really made me realize that if you want to stay in touch with some people you have to put in the effort, and sometimes they aren't interested as well so that's kind of a bummer. I pretty much skype high school friends once a month though, and other close friends even more frequently than that. FB message is a thing. I stopped using MSN this September. It's been a cool 10 years.
8) again -- have more reasons to smile than frown :)
Well, it's certainly been an emotional year, that's for sure. Between the tears and laughter (both uncontrollable mind you), I've enjoyed both sides of life. Actually this is the first time I've felt something touch me on this level. Maybe I was just emotionally stunted before, but I think I've gained the ability to feel something real finally. Something like I'm no longer a robot. Someone told me once that Life is much easier if you just don't care, but I think it's more along the lines of, Life is easier if you care -- but not about yourself, about others around you to the point where their decisions become yours. It's not about being apathetic, but about being more easy-going and open to others' points of view, to be more accepting and less stubborn. This is still something I have to practise especially with my family whose intentions and mine seem to conflict a lot these days, but I'm learning I guess.
Actually I'm not sure how that was relevant to the resolution at hand here ahhaaha, I just thought of it though. That's ok too. It's been an overall good year. I regret nothing; I've learned so much and though there was sadness it made me into a better person. So at the end of the year when I was watching that sunset, I was smiling. It was a beautiful end to a beautiful year.
This years NYRs??
1) The Usual Academic Resolution
2) The Usual Exercise-Related Resolution
3) The Usual Social Resolution -- New and Old Friends
4) Create a more comfortable self. Don't slip back into fickleness.
5) Be more patient with others, less self-absorbed, think of others' needs.
6) Gain experience in the field. Try get an internship, see if CS is the right path for you
7) Read more
8) As always, Have more reasons to smile than frown.
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I don't know where else to put this, too.
I don't know if you think of this at all still, but anyway on New Years day, I was listening to music on my phone and that song came up. It reminded me of you and a lot of memories came up and it made me somewhat emotional, but I realized that things weren't right at that time anyway. It's probably for the best that things happened the way they did, though I know I caused you a lot of pain at that time. Because I realized that you can't say you wrote this, you wrote this for me -- when you have sang the same song for others before. One day you will find someone for whom you won't repeat the same songs for. That person will be worth a new leaf in your story, a fresh playlist. I want that for you because you are worth it. I'll always be around, just not in that way.
Don't talk to me about this, I just like to know that you've read it. I hope you understand.
19 December 2012
Return to the Old and Feeling New
You know, there is a certain kind of feeling that comes with coming home after a long trip overseas. You almost feel like a new book, unwritten in, because you haven't been subjected to the kinds of routines you had before you left. It's been so long since you've had a life there that you've forgotten how you used to live. This can be incredibly cleansing; you might stop doing all those bad habits you had before, you might start something new that you've wanted to do for a while but never got around to before. All in all, there's just a new feeling to life in an old, known place. I experienced this when I came back from Paris after 2 months in the summer of 2011, but now as I'm getting ready to finally go home after 4 months of college in the US, it's a totally new thing altogether. I wonder what it will take to get me used to the pace of life in Auckland again -- even home is not how it used to be, since our house is being renovated right now, we're living in a different house and the next time I come home after ANOTHER 4 months is when I'll get to go to the house I left 4 months ago... but by then it will of course be another building altogether.
Someone told me that life in NZ is exactly how it used to be. Nothing has changed. But, I can't remember how life used to be. Someone else told me that a lot of people back home have changed as well. But maybe I will have changed so much also that I wouldn't notice. Will it be like meeting strangers again? Or will we greet each other like old friends should?
The first goodbye is always the hardest. Nowadays, nobody really cares much when the Australians come back for breaks, even though we were in tears when they left the first time. Doesn't that kind of mean that some part of us died the first time we left the country? As if we were truly saying goodbye to a part of ourselves. Well I suppose that is also true. Life would never be the same after that first departure, so I guess we were mourning the loss of that once everyday life. Though, many people said "this isn't goodbye, don't cry", as Lewis Carroll said -- "I cannot go back to yesterday; I was a different person then."
I know a lot of people have criticized me as being someone who is consistently inconsistent, someone who changes with the direction of the wind. Maybe it's because I haven't found the person I'm comfortable being yet. Or maybe I already have, but haven't found the courage to share it with the world. I don't really know myself. But these are supposed to be years of reform anyway, right? There must be something wrong with me if I'm not continuously learning. Though I guess that's not the real issue: people are mainly concerned with being discarded and left behind as I seek new things. But for me that's not the case. I never want to let go of anything, actually. Even things I thought I would find easy to get rid of, nowadays I still find myself thinking about every now and again. I'm human after all. perhaps not the robot everyone thought I was, including myself at times? It's somewhat consoling. I don't think I've thrown my past self away since I've come here. It's just been a different experience, meeting new people who have no knowledge of your past experiences. I've enjoyed having a clean slate. Rediscovering myself and whatnot. It made me realize that I have a lot of holes in my past actually that people were around to fill and I took for granted, especially my parents and their expectations. So I needed to grow things in those places and be braver to reinvent myself and try to really feel what was important to me, not what I thought was important because other people told me they were.
Am I finished with that, a perfect individual coming out of my first semester now? No, of course not. I still have so much to learn about both myself and the world. But I think slowly I am understanding, little by little. I don't think I will really finished, even after my four years here and walking out of these gates -- "Enter to Grow in Wisdom". Grow I shall, naturally: nobody's ever collided with the sky though.
I'm ready to go back and enjoy the summer. I'm excited, a bit apprehensive, dreading the long flight but all in all ready to go home. I will miss college and I will miss the family I met here, but right now I am also missing my friends and family back home. Actually I'm lucky that the world is so connected now that I can just jump on a plane and end up on the other side of the world just like that. It's kind of great. I want to go to the beach and eat at Bruce Lee Sushi and lie in my queen sized bed and roll around without sinking into the mattress, and I want to hug my life size teddy bear and smell freshly cut grass and eat homecooked meals.
Well, let's go home and see what it's like. I'm curious. Goodnight world :)
Someone told me that life in NZ is exactly how it used to be. Nothing has changed. But, I can't remember how life used to be. Someone else told me that a lot of people back home have changed as well. But maybe I will have changed so much also that I wouldn't notice. Will it be like meeting strangers again? Or will we greet each other like old friends should?
The first goodbye is always the hardest. Nowadays, nobody really cares much when the Australians come back for breaks, even though we were in tears when they left the first time. Doesn't that kind of mean that some part of us died the first time we left the country? As if we were truly saying goodbye to a part of ourselves. Well I suppose that is also true. Life would never be the same after that first departure, so I guess we were mourning the loss of that once everyday life. Though, many people said "this isn't goodbye, don't cry", as Lewis Carroll said -- "I cannot go back to yesterday; I was a different person then."
I know a lot of people have criticized me as being someone who is consistently inconsistent, someone who changes with the direction of the wind. Maybe it's because I haven't found the person I'm comfortable being yet. Or maybe I already have, but haven't found the courage to share it with the world. I don't really know myself. But these are supposed to be years of reform anyway, right? There must be something wrong with me if I'm not continuously learning. Though I guess that's not the real issue: people are mainly concerned with being discarded and left behind as I seek new things. But for me that's not the case. I never want to let go of anything, actually. Even things I thought I would find easy to get rid of, nowadays I still find myself thinking about every now and again. I'm human after all. perhaps not the robot everyone thought I was, including myself at times? It's somewhat consoling. I don't think I've thrown my past self away since I've come here. It's just been a different experience, meeting new people who have no knowledge of your past experiences. I've enjoyed having a clean slate. Rediscovering myself and whatnot. It made me realize that I have a lot of holes in my past actually that people were around to fill and I took for granted, especially my parents and their expectations. So I needed to grow things in those places and be braver to reinvent myself and try to really feel what was important to me, not what I thought was important because other people told me they were.
Am I finished with that, a perfect individual coming out of my first semester now? No, of course not. I still have so much to learn about both myself and the world. But I think slowly I am understanding, little by little. I don't think I will really finished, even after my four years here and walking out of these gates -- "Enter to Grow in Wisdom". Grow I shall, naturally: nobody's ever collided with the sky though.
I'm ready to go back and enjoy the summer. I'm excited, a bit apprehensive, dreading the long flight but all in all ready to go home. I will miss college and I will miss the family I met here, but right now I am also missing my friends and family back home. Actually I'm lucky that the world is so connected now that I can just jump on a plane and end up on the other side of the world just like that. It's kind of great. I want to go to the beach and eat at Bruce Lee Sushi and lie in my queen sized bed and roll around without sinking into the mattress, and I want to hug my life size teddy bear and smell freshly cut grass and eat homecooked meals.
July 14 2012 . One Tree Hill
12 December 2012
pic dump and monthly update. just to dump it in case I forget about what happened in my freshman year later in life.
So since the last time I updated, let's see what has happened...
There was the Harvard Yale game! We won. American football is a lot easier to follow than Rugby (at least in my experience).
Thanksgiving has gone and passed. I went to New York City and stayed with Katherine for two nights including actual thanksgiving where I helped around the kitchen and setting up for dinner. It was a really interesting experience, an American thanksgiving. The turkey went into the oven at 12pm. We ate at 7pm. It was pretty crazy and the food was delicious (naturally) :D
Such nice table settings :) Such a nice house as well
Foodddddddd.
The other two nights I stayed with Adam in the city where I also saw [imagespambelow]
Central Park
Metropolitan Museum of Art
And of course:
FOODFOODFOODFOODFOODFOODFOOD (cinnamon buns @ kat's, bibimbap, sandwich panini @ adam's, pasta carbonara @ adam's, raspberry mousse cake, cappuccino chocolate cheesecake, xiaolong bao, shrimp fried rice+pork shoulder+red bean pancake + bakchoyyy, cannoli (and jason's tongue, but nobody wants to eat that), hot chocolate, oreo ice cream sandwich, and sushi :D)
Yay image dump. So that was my thanksgiving in a nutshell.
What's next... oh yeah there was that one snow day on december 1st, which was a nice thing to wake up to I guess. Makes you feel like Christmas is coming (though in actuality xmas is blistering hot in the summer in the southern hemisphere)
Just as it was beginning to snow haha. You can see it gathering under the tree.
Last week was a big work week, I had to finish my photographic project for history of photography (which was fun, but also messed up my room entirely. It's no big surprise why the starving artist stereotype is an unkempt bearded 20 year old male in his messy studio apartment. It doesn't take much to mess up a place when you're working with paper and crafts, and I'm not even throwing in any paints or wet media...).
Not that it's been all work. At the beginning of Reading Period I took a trip into Chinatown with the HVA upperclassmen and had dimsum. It was a relaxing introduction to what would become a somewhat hectic study period.
HVA Christmas Event
Oh yeah so I should probably explain the weird relationship I have with HVA. What happened was I went to one of their events (the making Banh Mi one) where I ran into Arthur who I know from Archery, and I met Peter there as well because he was a massive troll. Anyway since then they somehow conned me into joining their mailing list and going to their meetings (even though I have absolutely nothing to contribute, the free food is good though)... but actually everyone there is really nice, and I like how it's kind of a small group so it feels a lot closer than some of the bigger groups like CSA or AAA. I'm not vietnamese obviously though, but I've met a lot of cool people at their events and stuff and I like hanging out with Arthur and Peter despite (/because of?) their supreme troll and annoyingness :) So yeah that's my story of how I somehow became roped into HVA.
I also took a visit down to the Carpenter Center last week to take a look at the VES studios and the work they've done. I was really inspired after going to that exhibit actually, I can't wait to take a VES class. Hopefully I get one lotteried next semester but it seems hard to get into them since there's so much interest. The History of Photography exhibition was also really good, the sandwiches and apple cider were excellent and the inclusion of gingerbread men in the snack tray was a plus one in my book :P
Then there was the CS50 Hackathon/CS50 Fair, which were both pretty good, but only came about after a lot of hard work and sleepless nights (which later induced illness as I found out).
4am @ Microsoft or something
Then I had to do another all nighter pretty much right before the due date because I'm a silly student who didn't finish earlier. But all is well, everything was ok in the end, I finished and presented at the fair and CS50 is no officially over (sadface). Still got free swag from the fair. 5GB on Dropbox, tshirts from CS50, Dropbox, Quora and Google, drink bottle from Oracle and lots of candy cupcakes and helium balloons haha.
SO MANY BALLOONS
Well, I was kinda sick over thanksgiving and now I'm kind of sick again ....... I spent yesterday sleeping, trying to recover after the dual CS50 all nighters. I got up for a few hours during dinnertime to go and have dinner with an alumnus from an investment company which invests in tech startups thought, and he had a lot of compelling and useful things to say.
I think I finally realize now the importance of time, especially in college. I always end up thinking about stuff that happened before in my life in the shower, and how quickly it all changed. Because I think when you're younger and adults tell you you'll understand when you're older -- that time's already come for us. We're standing in it right now and we have these four years to find out how to cope without extremely dire consequences. I think it's important to make the most of it then. Actually already 1/8 of my time for that kind of experimentation is gone. I better not waste the rest of it, huh :)
Wish me luck for my finals @_@ Economics this Friday and then History of Photography next Wed. And then flying back to NZ to see all my lovelies again~ ♥
Promise I'll write something actually thought-provoking soon. Maybe. Got a lot on my plate right now gaiz bear with meeeeee
13 November 2012
AU vs Harvard and stuff in between
1. I didn't notice before, but my last post was my 300th milestone. :O I've been at this for quite a while it appears. So, in any case, welcome to the 301st post on this blog hahaha
2. I am waiting for about 10am to have breakfast today because the mail room doesn't open til then and I have a package. Hence the blogging. Actually I have two midterm exams tomorrow and my time may be slightly better served studying for those, but I thought I'd update since someone asked me to blog about this topic (maybe as regular decision deadline for college is in 1.5 months, early decision's just passed and people wanna reconsider their options). So, without further adieu, I'll try to answer the prompt as best as I can, though keep in mind that these judgements and experiences are purely my own based on my year thus far, and everyone's college experience is different :)
Academics
Okay, so first off when comparing tertiary education, we probably want to look at academics. Note that I've chosen to major in Computer Science here where the ranking is supposedly lower. Also I was in Engineering for a semester and a half at AU. This is because it's stupid to choose to study something just because the school you're going to is good at it, if it doesn't line up with your interests. But wait, you say, why not go to a college where the CS program is stronger? Because Liberal Arts education. Something that really attracted me to study in the US was a lack of knowledge of what I wanted to do with the rest of my life (and quite honestly I'm still lost now). I was interested in a lot of things during high school -- in my senior year I took classes in English, Math, Chemistry, Physics, Art History, French and Painting. So yes I kind of liked a lot of things haha. At liberal arts college, you get 4 years of a much broader education: for instance, here, my requirements for majoring in CS only involves 12-14 classes (note a standard schedule of 4 classes per semester x 4 years = 32 classes total, so you still have 20-18 classes left after finishing major requirements). Even if I were to minor in something, that's 4-6 classes, leaving me with 12-16. Of course, there are more inflexible paths: a BS engineering track will probably land you with 20 classes requirement, but that's still 12 left for gen ed requirements (we have 8, in varying genres of fields) and electives. Btw the degree I am doing is a Bachelor of Arts, and I'm unsure right now if I want to continue study after graduating and go get a graduate degree. It really depends what opportunities crop up in the next 4 years.
That kind of flexibility isn't something I would have had at AU. Engineering is pretty much a set track (though I was conjoining with BA), as far as I know most people have space for the 2 gen eds required and that's pretty much it unless they want to do summer school or add a 5th course each semester. Note that on the BA/BE track I was doing I would have graduated in 5 years instead of 4, and I was taking 5 courses both semesters while I was there. Also note that the AU degree is intended to be vocational -- I would have been able to start working in the engineering industry right after graduation with a BE (and in fact not many choose to stay to do a graduate degree).
'
In terms of workload -- it's definitely heftier here. With only 4 classes this semester I am still doing more work than I have ever done before in my life (excluding art in high school), and I have a relatively light workload compared to most other people (actually this may be a testament to how lazy I have been in the rest of my life, but let's not get into that right now). Problem sets are weekly, with one being due on the same day the next one comes out (generalization, definitely varies between classes but just my exp), some classes have 2 or 3 problem sets due per week. When I was at AU there were some days where I went home and didn't do any work for the rest of the day, and as far as I remember there was no regular homework due ever, to the point where even if it was irregular I was unlikely to do it due to lack of routine, plus it would be something like a static equilibrium question to do overnight or a set of tutorial questions that we'd be going over again in class anyway. That just doesn't happen here, because homework contributes toward final grades and if you slack off for a day you fall behind -- a day is worth A LOT here. There are some days where at night I have thought back to the that morning and realized how much I've accomplished, and the morning feels soooo long ago. It's a good feeling :) (except when you don't get it and you realize you slacked off too much that day aad ACTUALLY did nothing ahahahahaha Saturday 3rd November 2012 ._.)
Lifestyle
Yay, now that the boring stuff is out of the way, something to consider is definitely the difference in college life here compared to in NZ.
1. We live in dorms, on campus. This really make a difference in the way you interact with people as well as what you accomplish during the day -- because transportation wastes less time, and everything is super close to get to. This also means extracurriculars run a lot later here -- Archery goes from 7pm to 9pm, and I don't mind it. Before, Badminton went until about 10pm at AU and I found that a massive nuisance (but I went anyway), just because I didn't want to go home that late from town. Something I have also done here is watched the GSL finals in the Science Center from 2am to 5am in the morning. Yes that's an extracurricular activity -- but dw it's in the weekend so it's ok, can sleep the whole day after that haha. Also, one of the reasons I never went partying in Auckland was just because getting to town and back was such a massive chore (plus parking is so hard to find) that I just didn't think it was worth the effort. Here it's a lot easier to get around, there's always people to go back to the dorms with at 1am in the morning and so I've gone to a lot more social events because of that. Definitely not every weekend though, but there are people who do. I have also still not been to a frat party or final club yet. I never went to any steins earlier this year because of the cbf-degree associated with going into town. I went clubbing ONCE in Auckland earlier this year.
2. Community and involvement. Something that comes with living on campus is the feeling of being part of a larger group. Whether it's bouncing around the 29304823 emails about club events and choosing which to go to (I attend at least 1 or 2 a week), or preparing for The Game (Harvard-Yale football this weekend what), there is just always so much going on within the bubble here. I think that sense of community is definitely lacking in the AU student body. I voted for UC here and I didn't vote for AUSA or any of those elections while i was at AU (granted, at that point I was no longer enrolled and thought it would be against morals for me to vote for something I wouldn't be part of soon). I've also joined a lot more clubs than I did before, but that may be due to quantity demanded related to price (since it costs money to join clubs at AU)... but even though I paid for KAC and stuff I never went to any events, which was a bit sad. Actually I think I should have done that, gone to a lot more student club events while I was in Auckland. I don't know if I was shy or anything like that, maybe I just thought that since I already knew people there was no real reason to go and talk awkwardly with strangers, but that's something I'd really recommend for people at AU: GET INVOLVED IN STUFF. I actually look up to the 2nd-4th years in KAC like Victor and Seb and stuff and am a bit jealous that they are so close to everyone in their organization and are so involved. I think those clubs are really essential to the college experience where ever you are. Also it's great for networking. Actually I'm not a huge fan of networking myself but there's definitely a lot of that going on here all the time.
3. People are strangers. Something I'm sure Aucklanders experience going to AU is the fact that you go to high school with your friends and then you go to uni with your friends. Of course you meet new people, but I met more people in my first week here than I met in my whole half year at AU. Most people are strangers coming into college, because people come here from all over the US and all over the world. Something you ask when making acquaintances is "Where are you from?" whereas in Auckland it's generally assumed you're from the area, or at best Dunedin or Christchurch. That's not to say that you don't meet amazing people in AU though. Though I only met some of my Engineering friends in March this year, and we only had 4 months together before I left, we still skype and chat fairly regularly and I'd say they are actually closer to me than many of my friends I've known longer. Likewise, when you are forced to live with strangers, you grow very close very quickly -- the amount of time you spend with those around you here is continuous since there is no such thing as "going home" and avoiding all contact. It's so interesting in the first few weeks when you see a social structure forming from nothing -- friendship groups form, people move around, meet new people and hang out with them, and become really close friends overnight (literally). Something I'll call the Kun phenomenon (named after a friend who invited me over to a pizza night the day after I met him at Karaoke) is exceeedddingly common in the first few days of college here.
4. A new life. Because everyone is a stranger here, because you are entering a new environment where you will live, as if being locked into a hyperbolic time chamber for a period of time, It's as if you are starting a new life. There are no preconceptions -- nobody knows who you are. I remember in high school I wanted to leave and move at one point because I just wanted a fresh start. It's been so nice here. Also, there is no weird hierarchy that I've experienced. Those of you who know me know that I get somewhat uncomfortable when people look up to me too much or put me on some kind of pedestal because there are just so many false expectations that come out of that. It kind of got weird after I found out I got in and people in Auckland seemed to know about it even if I didn't know them personally (it was also kind of ego-inflating to know that I was kind of famous but I feel bad about that haha. At least I'm admitting that I'm self-absorbed?). But here, everyone's an equal. It's a really nice, humbling experience. It's as if you can create yourself again from the ground up, without the pressure of expectations to change the way you grow. Like the natural recrystallization and grain growth of metal after annealing something that had been cold worked (yeah I went there chemmat 121 reference hi5 engineers).
Actually I didn't realize until now, but this is the first time I've really felt free, for a really long time if not ever. I was an emotional wreck before I came out here (and for a long while after I got here as well). There was a time where I questioned my decision to leave at all and whether or not it was worth it to leave everything behind. I actually contemplated staying in Auckland, but I'm glad I made a leap of faith to a new experience.
5. Growth. I've definitely grown as a person (and as a metal grain, apparently) since coming here, in confidence and in ideas. Because there are so many different opinions and mindsets around me, from all different walks of life (the American population, as you should all have noticed, is greatly varied in terms of ideals as evidenced by the close election last week. Compared to the largely homogeneous liberal views of the NZ masses, there is a lot more variety here in terms of how people think the world should be etc), I've had the opportunity of hearing about issues from all different perspectives. Also people here are generally more well read and knowledgeable than me, so I've experienced a nice diffusion of knowledge from high to low concentration. Ie. I've learned a lot, it's been great. Also I'm starting to get less intimidated by authority figures; during FIP my leaders told me about how she emailed professors to ask if she could take a class -- at the time I thought it was crazy but then I did it and got into my phil class (which I was originally not placed into), so from that experience I learned the true power of the question "Is it possible?"... you should always try :)
...
Well it's now 12pm and I haven't done nearly enough work for tomorrow's midterm, I just skyped with Billy since it's his birthday today (Happy birthday Billy :D 21st!), so now I'll actually do some work ._. Hopefully this was helpful to some people, and if there are any other questions please feel free to facebook or email me and I'll do my best to reply, also if you want another blog detailing anything more I'd be happy to do that (I want to keep up my at least once a month updates, so any ideas of blogs would be helpful to me :P)
2. I am waiting for about 10am to have breakfast today because the mail room doesn't open til then and I have a package. Hence the blogging. Actually I have two midterm exams tomorrow and my time may be slightly better served studying for those, but I thought I'd update since someone asked me to blog about this topic (maybe as regular decision deadline for college is in 1.5 months, early decision's just passed and people wanna reconsider their options). So, without further adieu, I'll try to answer the prompt as best as I can, though keep in mind that these judgements and experiences are purely my own based on my year thus far, and everyone's college experience is different :)
Academics
Okay, so first off when comparing tertiary education, we probably want to look at academics. Note that I've chosen to major in Computer Science here where the ranking is supposedly lower. Also I was in Engineering for a semester and a half at AU. This is because it's stupid to choose to study something just because the school you're going to is good at it, if it doesn't line up with your interests. But wait, you say, why not go to a college where the CS program is stronger? Because Liberal Arts education. Something that really attracted me to study in the US was a lack of knowledge of what I wanted to do with the rest of my life (and quite honestly I'm still lost now). I was interested in a lot of things during high school -- in my senior year I took classes in English, Math, Chemistry, Physics, Art History, French and Painting. So yes I kind of liked a lot of things haha. At liberal arts college, you get 4 years of a much broader education: for instance, here, my requirements for majoring in CS only involves 12-14 classes (note a standard schedule of 4 classes per semester x 4 years = 32 classes total, so you still have 20-18 classes left after finishing major requirements). Even if I were to minor in something, that's 4-6 classes, leaving me with 12-16. Of course, there are more inflexible paths: a BS engineering track will probably land you with 20 classes requirement, but that's still 12 left for gen ed requirements (we have 8, in varying genres of fields) and electives. Btw the degree I am doing is a Bachelor of Arts, and I'm unsure right now if I want to continue study after graduating and go get a graduate degree. It really depends what opportunities crop up in the next 4 years.
That kind of flexibility isn't something I would have had at AU. Engineering is pretty much a set track (though I was conjoining with BA), as far as I know most people have space for the 2 gen eds required and that's pretty much it unless they want to do summer school or add a 5th course each semester. Note that on the BA/BE track I was doing I would have graduated in 5 years instead of 4, and I was taking 5 courses both semesters while I was there. Also note that the AU degree is intended to be vocational -- I would have been able to start working in the engineering industry right after graduation with a BE (and in fact not many choose to stay to do a graduate degree).
'
Note 21 contact hours at AU vs 12.5 per week, yet I still have more work here
In terms of workload -- it's definitely heftier here. With only 4 classes this semester I am still doing more work than I have ever done before in my life (excluding art in high school), and I have a relatively light workload compared to most other people (actually this may be a testament to how lazy I have been in the rest of my life, but let's not get into that right now). Problem sets are weekly, with one being due on the same day the next one comes out (generalization, definitely varies between classes but just my exp), some classes have 2 or 3 problem sets due per week. When I was at AU there were some days where I went home and didn't do any work for the rest of the day, and as far as I remember there was no regular homework due ever, to the point where even if it was irregular I was unlikely to do it due to lack of routine, plus it would be something like a static equilibrium question to do overnight or a set of tutorial questions that we'd be going over again in class anyway. That just doesn't happen here, because homework contributes toward final grades and if you slack off for a day you fall behind -- a day is worth A LOT here. There are some days where at night I have thought back to the that morning and realized how much I've accomplished, and the morning feels soooo long ago. It's a good feeling :) (except when you don't get it and you realize you slacked off too much that day aad ACTUALLY did nothing ahahahahaha Saturday 3rd November 2012 ._.)
Lifestyle
Yay, now that the boring stuff is out of the way, something to consider is definitely the difference in college life here compared to in NZ.
Canaday. This is where I live, also known as the ugliest freshman dorm on campus (it's really not that bad)
1. We live in dorms, on campus. This really make a difference in the way you interact with people as well as what you accomplish during the day -- because transportation wastes less time, and everything is super close to get to. This also means extracurriculars run a lot later here -- Archery goes from 7pm to 9pm, and I don't mind it. Before, Badminton went until about 10pm at AU and I found that a massive nuisance (but I went anyway), just because I didn't want to go home that late from town. Something I have also done here is watched the GSL finals in the Science Center from 2am to 5am in the morning. Yes that's an extracurricular activity -- but dw it's in the weekend so it's ok, can sleep the whole day after that haha. Also, one of the reasons I never went partying in Auckland was just because getting to town and back was such a massive chore (plus parking is so hard to find) that I just didn't think it was worth the effort. Here it's a lot easier to get around, there's always people to go back to the dorms with at 1am in the morning and so I've gone to a lot more social events because of that. Definitely not every weekend though, but there are people who do. I have also still not been to a frat party or final club yet. I never went to any steins earlier this year because of the cbf-degree associated with going into town. I went clubbing ONCE in Auckland earlier this year.
2. Community and involvement. Something that comes with living on campus is the feeling of being part of a larger group. Whether it's bouncing around the 29304823 emails about club events and choosing which to go to (I attend at least 1 or 2 a week), or preparing for The Game (Harvard-Yale football this weekend what), there is just always so much going on within the bubble here. I think that sense of community is definitely lacking in the AU student body. I voted for UC here and I didn't vote for AUSA or any of those elections while i was at AU (granted, at that point I was no longer enrolled and thought it would be against morals for me to vote for something I wouldn't be part of soon). I've also joined a lot more clubs than I did before, but that may be due to quantity demanded related to price (since it costs money to join clubs at AU)... but even though I paid for KAC and stuff I never went to any events, which was a bit sad. Actually I think I should have done that, gone to a lot more student club events while I was in Auckland. I don't know if I was shy or anything like that, maybe I just thought that since I already knew people there was no real reason to go and talk awkwardly with strangers, but that's something I'd really recommend for people at AU: GET INVOLVED IN STUFF. I actually look up to the 2nd-4th years in KAC like Victor and Seb and stuff and am a bit jealous that they are so close to everyone in their organization and are so involved. I think those clubs are really essential to the college experience where ever you are. Also it's great for networking. Actually I'm not a huge fan of networking myself but there's definitely a lot of that going on here all the time.
Class photo :) See if you can spot me (hint I'm in the front row)
3. People are strangers. Something I'm sure Aucklanders experience going to AU is the fact that you go to high school with your friends and then you go to uni with your friends. Of course you meet new people, but I met more people in my first week here than I met in my whole half year at AU. Most people are strangers coming into college, because people come here from all over the US and all over the world. Something you ask when making acquaintances is "Where are you from?" whereas in Auckland it's generally assumed you're from the area, or at best Dunedin or Christchurch. That's not to say that you don't meet amazing people in AU though. Though I only met some of my Engineering friends in March this year, and we only had 4 months together before I left, we still skype and chat fairly regularly and I'd say they are actually closer to me than many of my friends I've known longer. Likewise, when you are forced to live with strangers, you grow very close very quickly -- the amount of time you spend with those around you here is continuous since there is no such thing as "going home" and avoiding all contact. It's so interesting in the first few weeks when you see a social structure forming from nothing -- friendship groups form, people move around, meet new people and hang out with them, and become really close friends overnight (literally). Something I'll call the Kun phenomenon (named after a friend who invited me over to a pizza night the day after I met him at Karaoke) is exceeedddingly common in the first few days of college here.
Hyperbolic time chamber
4. A new life. Because everyone is a stranger here, because you are entering a new environment where you will live, as if being locked into a hyperbolic time chamber for a period of time, It's as if you are starting a new life. There are no preconceptions -- nobody knows who you are. I remember in high school I wanted to leave and move at one point because I just wanted a fresh start. It's been so nice here. Also, there is no weird hierarchy that I've experienced. Those of you who know me know that I get somewhat uncomfortable when people look up to me too much or put me on some kind of pedestal because there are just so many false expectations that come out of that. It kind of got weird after I found out I got in and people in Auckland seemed to know about it even if I didn't know them personally (it was also kind of ego-inflating to know that I was kind of famous but I feel bad about that haha. At least I'm admitting that I'm self-absorbed?). But here, everyone's an equal. It's a really nice, humbling experience. It's as if you can create yourself again from the ground up, without the pressure of expectations to change the way you grow. Like the natural recrystallization and grain growth of metal after annealing something that had been cold worked (yeah I went there chemmat 121 reference hi5 engineers).
Ayyyyy dat zebra ass (unrelated diagram of pearlite)
5. Growth. I've definitely grown as a person (and as a metal grain, apparently) since coming here, in confidence and in ideas. Because there are so many different opinions and mindsets around me, from all different walks of life (the American population, as you should all have noticed, is greatly varied in terms of ideals as evidenced by the close election last week. Compared to the largely homogeneous liberal views of the NZ masses, there is a lot more variety here in terms of how people think the world should be etc), I've had the opportunity of hearing about issues from all different perspectives. Also people here are generally more well read and knowledgeable than me, so I've experienced a nice diffusion of knowledge from high to low concentration. Ie. I've learned a lot, it's been great. Also I'm starting to get less intimidated by authority figures; during FIP my leaders told me about how she emailed professors to ask if she could take a class -- at the time I thought it was crazy but then I did it and got into my phil class (which I was originally not placed into), so from that experience I learned the true power of the question "Is it possible?"... you should always try :)
...
Well it's now 12pm and I haven't done nearly enough work for tomorrow's midterm, I just skyped with Billy since it's his birthday today (Happy birthday Billy :D 21st!), so now I'll actually do some work ._. Hopefully this was helpful to some people, and if there are any other questions please feel free to facebook or email me and I'll do my best to reply, also if you want another blog detailing anything more I'd be happy to do that (I want to keep up my at least once a month updates, so any ideas of blogs would be helpful to me :P)
31 October 2012
Colours of Fall
(Fall Foliage, Harvard Yard, Massachusetts, 2009)
These are the colours of Fall: Yellow, Orange, Red, Brown -- with a hint of green on a changing blue sky.
YELLOW
The transition. Summer is happiness, the sun is yellow, the lemony freshness of a slight fall breeze deceives us all before the change. It is a slight colour, maybe off-white or cream, the aging pages of a summer diary that's been left out near the salt water for too long. The green fades to yellow first -- a change so small we almost don't see it coming. Like meeting a stranger, like first introductions, like superficial small talk. All laying the base-coat foundations for a new life.
ORANGE
The beautiful. The turn of fall, before it gets too cold: the heat of summer remains, but the beauty of fall creeps in. Like a tree catching alight. Citrus sweetness flows around the yard and maybe in a strong breeze some will fall and swirl around you, dancing fire fairies enchanting and blessing the turn of a new harvest season. A warm hug, a pat on the back, a brush of the hand.
RED
It is passionate. Full of extremity and urgent as needing to jump into the deep end of a pool. Fall comes quickly out of Summer -- one day you are roasting in a singlet and the next you need to take out a jacket and cover up your legs with jeans: like red-hot urgency in a freezer. Clinging to a heater, kneading your face into the crevice of your best friend's neck, a not-so-subtle hard gripping onto fingers. It is fragile, highly transient and so, so intense. Red leaves are the hardest to keep, red dye the quickest to wash away with water.
BROWN
The Settling. It is not death, or the end of something. It is the start of comfort, acceptance and understanding. It is not the unpleasant colour that everyone makes it out to be: not diarrhea, or rot, or slushy mud. It is rather the familiar smell of hot cocoa after a day out in the wind, a robust trunk that you know would never fall under your weight. The swirling melted pot of chocolate in some people's eyes. Brown makes you feel fuzzy.
(Eliot Porter, Pool in a Brook, New Hampshire 1953)*
Like washing paint down a drain: let's observe these colours transition into and through each other and change into something entirely different. Winter is coming and with it a palette of blues and whites, the stark bathroom tiles will be all that is left after your paints have run down your bathtub pipes.
*Just heard about this guy and his photographs this morning in History of Photography, I likeeee his stufffff so I wanted to include it in a blogpost. SUE ME
29 October 2012
One moment I was playing tag, the next I was caught in a civil war.
Last week, I was going to get my badminton racquet restrung (finally... I neglected to do it for so long). I walked briskly down one of the streets with the narrow footpaths between the Yard and the MAC Gym, and on the way I passed a little old lady slowly making her way in the same direction down the street with a walking stick. I noticed her frail but sure steps, each one slow but deliberate, as I approached from behind. I felt a little guilty passing her in my rush, a single one of my strides equated to three of her small wobbles. But, what was I to do? As I walked away and left her farther and farther behind me, I thought about what it would be like to be in that situation as I become older. Would I resent the younger generation for being more able than me? How much nostalgia would I be hit with as the years stacked up and my capabilities degenerated with each new experience gained?
Living in the Now is kind of a strange experience. You know where you have come from, but sometimes you forget. There are things buried in our memories that we don't think about but at random times they come up into our consciousness. You think you know where you are heading or at least can imagine different scenarios -- but they aren't set in stone, ever. We can always change our minds about what direction we're heading in. The present is always moving forward though; like a reference point in motion -- with reference to a stationary time dimension our experiences are actually extremely warped by aging.
I woke up from a dream this morning where I was playing tag in a childhood neighbourhood -- not my own, mind you but a childhood neighbourhood nonetheless. We were running and chasing and running and chasing and emotions skyrocketed from a natural high to something more intense, somehow. People started picking up real guns and real bullets and charged into a backyard to protest about injustice, about equality and hope. Most of us were gunned down immediately. I only remember running in the direction to go home, trying to find my friends and finding out that many of their bodies had been left behind in that backyard graveyard.
Then I woke up.
Living in the Now is kind of a strange experience. You know where you have come from, but sometimes you forget. There are things buried in our memories that we don't think about but at random times they come up into our consciousness. You think you know where you are heading or at least can imagine different scenarios -- but they aren't set in stone, ever. We can always change our minds about what direction we're heading in. The present is always moving forward though; like a reference point in motion -- with reference to a stationary time dimension our experiences are actually extremely warped by aging.
I woke up from a dream this morning where I was playing tag in a childhood neighbourhood -- not my own, mind you but a childhood neighbourhood nonetheless. We were running and chasing and running and chasing and emotions skyrocketed from a natural high to something more intense, somehow. People started picking up real guns and real bullets and charged into a backyard to protest about injustice, about equality and hope. Most of us were gunned down immediately. I only remember running in the direction to go home, trying to find my friends and finding out that many of their bodies had been left behind in that backyard graveyard.
Then I woke up.
19 October 2012
An October Update
Firstly! I apologize for not updating this thing in the last 3 weeks or so. I've been meaning to for a really long time, I just kept doing other stuff/procrastinating/couldn't think of how to start, but now that I've put it off for so long I have an excuse to introduce a blog post by apologizing about not updating. Yay for excuses!
Anyway, life here has been pretty eventful in the last few weeks I guess you could say. I'm not even entirely sure what's happened. Ummm pic spam perhaps
Anyway, life here has been pretty eventful in the last few weeks I guess you could say. I'm not even entirely sure what's happened. Ummm pic spam perhaps
Mooncake with my cousin for midautumn fest. took like an hour to get to her place due to a disruption in the T so I had to get off at apparently a really dodge part of Mass Bay and take a shuttle to Quincy, so they drove me back later :3
Starcraft parties late at night lololol korean influence
american footballlll I paid for this ticket when I didn't have to. ): and the guy at the gate thought I was bringing vodka into the game in my water bottle .. do I look like an alcoholic?
CSA cruise boat party in Boston Harbour :) Stole this from Ray's instagram. was a really nice atmosphere, esp since the weather was cool and it was windy on the top deck but it wasn't raining as we had been fearing. Oh yeah and SOME crazy guy climbed on the outside of the boat from the top deck to the lower deck and then got detained by security. No big deal #collegelife
SO MUCH NOMS @ korean bbq
Ok actually I don't have that many photos, I should really take more so I don't forget what's happened haha.
On the cognitive side of things, I think I'm learning a lot here. Not only about the world but also about myself, which is interesting because back home I feel like I learned a lot about people in general but not so much about myself. Maybe because I was always the observer and didn't really think to include myself in the frame. Since I came here though and I haven't really had anything to hold me back from doing anything, it's really started to help me understand myself.
I am someone who is very easygoing, but that is only because I haven't really discovered an identity. So, it's much easier to let others define what that is. I don't want to make a statement and in fact feel rather uncomfortable doing so at times because there's nothing really I believe in. So, I just go along with the crowd -- the default option I suppose. In that regard maybe I am a very boring person. But then maybe the fact that I am so malleable is in itself something that sets me apart, making the whole thing very paradoxical. I'm not sure where I fit into the world still, but the future is starting to scare me less ok as soon as I typed that I realized that was a huge lie, it still scares me but I don't know, I see a lot more opportunity in it now? I think I have grown in self-confidence a bit, and I believe I can do a bit more if I just go for it.
At home, I tried to stay under the radar mostly, didn't really get involved in much in my semester at uni and stuck with what I knew. But there are so many opportunities here that it's impossible to avoid, so I just go with it and am discovering slowly the things that I would really enjoy. Since coming here I discovered a multitude of insecurities that I never realized I had hahaha, but I think being here has also helped me work on those.
So, it's a slow process and very tiring among classes and other things but we all come to college to grow as people right? :)
In terms of classes, CS is great, I'm really more seriously going down the path of possibly majoring in CS now. Ec10 made me like economics a bit less, just because it's all about firm decisions and taxes and alsfkjasl;dfkjas; confusing things that I don't like thinking about, I mean it's not bad and for some reason Econ section cheers me up when I had a bad morning, but otherwise it's really not something I'd want to pursue in life. Which is a pity because the business dept here is amazing and there are always so many events and internships for people in business and finance, so I feel like I'm squandering those opportunities here, but well there are other things I'd rather be doing I guess. My philosophy class which sounded like it was about friendzoning is actually incredibly philosophically engaging and intense. So far we've read Plato, Aristotle, St Augustine and Sartre, and somehow the ideas I learned actually apply to everyday life. So I'm enjoying that class as well, despite all the readings I have to do hahaha. History of Photography is interesting but the readings are killer and I have no idea how to discuss them in section because I only ever skim them, plus I'm not too sure how well my midterm went so I will have to report back to you... I'm getting it back today.
Speaking of which it is now 10.45am and I have class at 11, so I need to run to breakfast now :) I'll update soon, I hope haha.
LIFE IS BUSY, remember to rest sometimes
de-facto Ostrich Pillow
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