Between Exams

So yes, I'm between exams at the moment. It's 1.10pm and my printmaking exam will begin in 50 minutes. I still haven't printed the stuff I was meant to because the stupid macs at school refuse to connect to the school printer... hmmmmmmm. GL to everyone sitting their maths exam right now I suppose ^^ seeing everyone stressing out on the table at lunchtime made me nostalgic about stresses long past... (not really, maybe just a few hours ago). Well the calc exam turned out exceedingly easy, since they put in the E questions in from last year that I'd done as part of my study (and I'd imagine a lot of others had done too) so nobody's complaining about that :P Calc schol on the other hand.... ehhh, never expected to do very well, ended up answering about 1/2 the questions and probably wrongly D:

I suppose I could just get off this computer and use one of the windows computers to try to connect to the printer but I can't be bothered... multimedia room is empty and tranquil. I hate this keyboard though. It's hard to type on and I can already feel the strain in my wrists ):

Itt's quite misty outside. It's just rained... quite a bit of rain actually, but the sky is still grey. I guess it's going to keep raining. At least it doesn't make me feel too bad about going into exams hahaha. Hate it when the weather's awesome and I have to sit an exam...

ONLY PHYSICS TO STRESS OUT ABOUT NOW :] and I can study that all morning tomorrow! these exams have certainly been short lived. I can tell that I'm not going to get very good grades though hahahaha. ewww unfamiliar texts.

I noticed that people have stopped commenting ): WHY? It makes me feel lonely. So if you read my blogs please comment. :] it keeps me writing things for your entertainment. Unless of course you hate my blogs and would just like me to please stop updating. XD but that'll never happen completely either hahahaha. I've been terribly consistent with this blog, haven't missed a month since I started it in november 2007. How's that possible? I have no idea either. Maybe I just get bored a lot.

I think some blogs I'm following are a bit bugged too D: I haven't been getting any updates from cindee's blog on my feed even though she's updated like 20 times in the last 4 months. Ughh stupid blogger javascripts.

Well I've just wasted 1o minutes. I think I'll go print out the stuff now and then head down to the art dept to bum around a bit... no I won't, I'll just sleep here. Sigh cbf doing work. I'm so over working already and not even graduated from high school. wow I'm going to have such a productive hardworking life.

160. Someone who does not want to study.

I know why the caged bird sings

Maya Angelou

A free bird leaps on the back

Of the wind and floats downstream

Till the current ends and dips his wing

In the orange sun's rays

And dares to claim the sky.

But a bird that stalks down his narrow cage

Can seldom see through his bars of rage

His wings are clipped and his feet are tied

So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with a fearful trill

Of things unknown but longed for still

And his tune is heard on the distant hill for

The caged bird sings of freedom.

The free bird thinks of another breeze

And the trade winds soft through

The sighing trees

And the fat worms waiting on a dawn-bright

Lawn and he names the sky his own.

But a caged bird stands on the grave of dreams

His shadow shouts on a nightmare scream

His wings are clipped and his feet are tied

So he opens his throat to sing.

The caged bird sings with

A fearful trill of things unknown

But longed for still and his

Tune is heard on the distant hill

For the caged bird sings of freedom.

This is one of my favourite poems :] I thought I'd share it here today because a) It serves as a good tie-in to my blog (bird's wing: one day all of us might fly towards freedom) and b) english unfamiliar texts is tomorrow. So I decided that I'd try to delve deeper into this poem haha, as a

form of not so serious study?

Well firstly, the poem is about the comparison between the life of a free bird and the life of a caged bird in an A B B A B B structure where A is a stanza about the free bird and B is a stanza about the caged bird. As we can see, the caged bird is more of the focus (hence the title).

Extensive imagery is used when describing the life of a free bird. I won't go into the techniques and stuff because it's boring >_>; even though that's what I really should be talking about. The free bird "dares to claim the sky" and "names the sky his own"; the free bird is empowered and has no limits -- it's even able to claim such a big thing as the sky. Pretty much the poem describes a free bird's life to be beautiful, amazing, with words like "dawn-bright" "orange sun's rays", symbols of light, goodness, to show how good its life is. This contrasts with the caged bird's "shadow shouts" and "nightmare screams", images of darkness, symbols of badness and oppression. Also the sights described that the free bird can see are contrasted with the experience of the caged bird who can "seldom see through his bars of rage". Furthermore "fat worms" is used since "fat" suggests plentiful resource -- the free bird has everything; the free bird prospers. The caged bird? He "stalks down his narrow cage"... "narrow" being a description for something that is not big enough for him... He does not have enough for himself.

Despite all the above, despite how "his wings are clipped and his feet are tied", the caged bird sings. In fact, it's WHY he opens his throat to sing. The caged bird cannot fly, cannot run... what does he have left? He can only sing. I believe that this poem is relating the caged bird to the enslaved and oppressed in our world who are also, literally or metaphorically 'tied back', who have nothing left but their voice and will. They have never known freedom, yet they yearn for it and sing for it. ("The caged bird sings with a fearful trill / of things unknown but longed for still") Perhaps the concept of freedom is frightening as well?

Interestingly, birds are also a symbol for rebirth (eg. mythical phoenix that can rise from its own ashes). Perhaps this poem is also using this symbolism and saying that when the caged bird sings it is also dreaming of its 'rebirth' and potential to become a free bird.

Nonetheless, despite the apparent decrepitude of the caged bird's situation, his "tune is heard on the distant hill". As long as we have the will, as long as we continue to "sing of freedom" like the caged bird, as long as we never give up hope, our cries will be heard somewhere, by someone. Even in our darkest hours and we can't do anything else, the least we can do is not give up hope. Without his voice, the caged bird himself will become little more than a shadow beyond the grave. Likewise, without hope, we become little more than unfortunate souls waiting for death.

Personally, I've always imagined myself to be a bit like the caged bird. Perhaps not so much like this particular unfortunate caged bird, but one shut in a cage. I think this poem could also apply to the everyday person and not just those enslaved formally. There are a lot of us who haven't realised our full potential but know that it's out there somewhere, but can't see a way through the chaos of reality to reach it. Our wings may not be clipped and our feet not tied but the cage door is shut. I guess some way or another we're all seeking a way to open the cage door and fly away like a free bird. Actually this is the thought that made me name my blog after birds. When I started, this blog was meant to be a timeline of my growth and maturity as I gathered enough strength to fly out of my own cage. I don't think I'm quite there yet, but life's certainly been an adventure since I started this blog 2 years ago :] Hopefully one day I too can claim the sky as my own.

So tell me, do you know why the caged bird sings?

some more sentence stories

...because I am, once again, bored. but not out of my pants (thanks laina).

Only one alien dramatically cleaned a secret chair. Every other alien cleaned the chairs quite naturally. It's unknown to me whether the dramatic alien was taking a theatre class during the time of chair-cleaning or if he was an impostor alien extremely untrained in theatrics. Nevertheless, he was a special alien (if he was in fact an alien at all) indeed. Ignoring this sentence generator's obvious lack of variety in its adjective pool, I suspect the 'secret' chair had hidden mechanisms that the other aliens didn't know about, which makes the dramatic alien so much more suspicious. Why would he be cleaning such a conspicuous chair? Or perhaps the chair itself was also an impostor!!! My mind had been blown. I pondered all the above with great austerity as I sat in the audience of the huge auditorium, holding my opera binoculars to my eyes and squinting at the stage as I remembered not to get too engrossed in the show; it was, after all, just an extremely warped musical performance of James Cameron's 'Aliens'.

Sometimes, the nerd angrily laughed at the electronic hair. Other times, the nerd angrily cried. The nerd's electronic hair had been a result of a physics experiment he'd done 3 months earlier. As part of his ongoing experiments, he had been wearing the same latex suit with rubber boots so as to keep the extra protons in his body. Nobody knew how he went to the toilet or took showers, but one would think that he had developed some kind of excretory flap system into the suit and installed a washing mechanism. He was obviously a very smart nerd. Nobody knew why he wanted to keep the extra protons in his body though, it made him look like a mad scientist. But perhaps that's what he wanted to achieve in the first place... when the nerd angrily cries at his electronic hair, it's because he feels isolated from the rest of society as they are so unwelcoming of his strange experiments. All he ever wanted was just a little love ): But at other times, he is able to look in the mirror and laugh angrily like the mad scientist he is, enjoying the self-satisfaction and reveling in the joy that it will only take him 2 more sessions of plastic surgery to become the absolute 21st century clone of Albert Einstein...

And so, the elephant angrily painted a confusing pile of biscuits. They were arranged in a huge variety of ways, making it hard for the elephant to paint their rugged sides and deliciously holey textures. The fact that its herbivorous peripheral vision completely dominated and distorted depth perception didn't really help with still life painting either. She could have been the best elephant painter in the world, the most soulful, as she swished the brush from side to side over the white canvas with delicate attention to detail... but she was angry, and it made her feel sick from the pits of her three stomachs, for she knew that she could never produce any artworks better than the anti-art of Marcel Duchamp, and even then she knew that his anti-art had more artistic value and meaning than her warped perceptions of confusing biscuits... The painting elephant threw down her brush with rage and stomped off, vowing to never paint again as it brought her so much depression. 9 months later some Dutch guy came along and found her painting of confusingly arranged biscuits, decided that it had been abandoned, took it home, painted around each biscuit to cover up his theft before slicing his ear off, labeling the plagiarized piece of art 'Sunflowers' and becoming a world famous artist.

I'm just joking about the last one btw, I'm sure Van Gogh was a very talented and moral guy who would never steal elephants' artworks.

blogging about blogging and about anything

So... I just did my chemistry assignment, and I don't think I should start watching another episode of skins because I'll just get addicted again, and I'm very bored. So I will blog about blogging/anything/how suitboy is so helpful (sarcasm) in telling me what to blog about.

BLOGGING: I blog when I am bored. Such as right now. Or, when I am feeling creative. Such as not right now. I actually have a few things I've been meaning to blog about (intelligence, weather, the chemistry of loooooveee) but never have the time to really think it through. But that's normal, eg. the post about postman pat, I had been planning that for about a month before I actually wrote it. Maybe having school just sucks out all the creativity from my life :/ sometimes I wish I had a more interesting life to blog about, but then I realised that even when interesting things happen in my life I never really blog about it. There's something nice about having the memories and only the memories, without writing to ruin anything. "Language destroyed man's ability of thought"...? :] there are some things that are just better off as pure emotions. But the thing about that is I often forget ): So... lose/lose really. I also don't see a point in blogging about something that just happened since it just happened. It's like watching a movie twice.. boring...

ANYTHING: anything goesssss~~~ show's next week. come on friday. last show is always the best ;]

SUITBOY: has given me a list of words that have been extracted from a random generator that I will blog about, since I am bored.

red ~ Red is my favourite colour colour, because many people don't accept white as a colour (even though it IS, black isn't.) Red is intense :] But tbh I don't really like wearing red, it makes me feel self conscious since for me red is like "LOOK AT ME!!". Unless it's on my shoes, because everyone knows how I love my red chucks. Oh yeah, red nails also make me think of middle aged/old women with wrinkly hands for some reason.

And he also gave me 3 sentences from a standard random sentence generator which I will create mini stories out of. Hope you enjoy =P

1) And so, the teacher politely sat on the green gardener. The gardener didn't have the heart to protest, since he was working class after all. Lower in class than a teacher! Can you imagine? He was also green because he'd had an unpleasant sandwich earlier in the day and was starting to feel its effects in his stomach. As he crumpled painfully under the huge teacher's weight, he could not help but marvel at the dark satire of the teacher's 'polite' sitting upon him. He wasn't sure if it was considered polite in any culture to sit on another person. Except maybe in the movie bruno where he sits on the mexicans, and even then it didn't look very comfortable. After what seemed like an eternity, the teacher equally politely got up from the green gardener, who was looking positively emerald by that point, and proceeded to his next class, where he could sit on a cleaner instead. After all, gardeners are hardly comfortable to sit on, what with all that hard muscle from weeding.

2) Almost daily, a monkey quietly ate the secret paper. It was secret because it was the paper that wasn't brought in by the dog to its owner; in fact, the dogs had a secret base of operations going on under the circus, where they would bring in the secret paper -- the truth paper, where nothing was censored by corrupt governments and media -- to the show monkeys, and it was through these that the monkeys consumed (literally) knowledge of the world and eventually evolved into a superior breed of human. The show monkeys were already pretty smart to begin with (well one has to be, to be chosen to become a show monkey), so the humans evolved from their knowledge consumption were nothing short of prodigies. World peace was coming; a smarter, better race of humans were set to rule the world, eradicating all the idiot humans. Unfortunately the dream was destroyed by the tsunamis of 2012 during which the circus was wiped out, since there was never any reason for show monkeys to learn to swim.

3) The cat politely ate the grumpy mirror. The mirror was obviously grumpy because it was being eaten (albeit politely) by the cat. The cat, although polite, was also quite grumpy because the mirror was hard to eat. This is a prime example of a lose-lose situation that we should try to avoid in our day to day lives. Nobody ends up happy, the mirror ends up in pieces being broken down by the hydrochloric acid in the cat's stomach and the cat probably ends up dying of a ripped oesophagus because chewed mirror shards are still pointy. The moral of the story is to never let your cat eat your mirrors. It's doubly as bad when you have a black cat, because it's like having a black cat cross your path, then dying, and breaking a mirror in the same instance. This simple sentence carries a lot of meaning for us...

Yes I know I am good at making up random stuff ):

Missing opportunities?

READ THIS STORY by Haruki Murakami: On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning.

It's so sad and cute ): But I guess it means that we should take charge of our fates and try not to miss any opportunities. I quite like that short story.

Happy birthday to CHENCAKE :] and happy mother's day for all the mums out there tomorrow. There were no birthday cards when I went to whitcoulls today to get a card as they had taken them all down to make room for happy mothers day cards which were all pink and there were lots of people getting last minute cards. I found it ironic how I was one of them, except I wasn't buying a card for my mother. Yes I got chencake a mothers day card. I chose a purple one with glitter :] hope he likes it.

Ahhh these days I've been feeling so 'meh' about everything. Homework? Fine, let's do it. Going out tomorrow? Fine, see you there. Exams? Cool, I'll study for it. Party on Saturday? Alright, why not. Everything's the same... Where's the joy and sadness? =/ Arguably it's good for school I suppose.

Anyway, hope everyone's having a good life :] I have badminton and work tomorrow, then school again, and exams are in 3 weeks :D gl to everyone studying. ciao for now?

Unpacking Justin Bieber's (un?)popularity

So why exactly is Justin Bieber so popular? I think it's safe to say that he's loved by hoards of screaming girls at least, from the video of his arrival at Auckland airport taken 2 nights ago. At the same time there are countless facebook groups (yes I am citing facebook as a reliable source) that 'bash' him.

Many people can't see why he's so popular, what with his questionable intelligence (What's 'German'? I don't know what that means. We don't use that term in America.) and undeniable cockiness (The best thing about being famous is the girls; since I'm famous I can get any chick I want). At the same time, there are many who adore him and can't see why anyone would dislike him. So, I decided to see if I could unpack (crudely and amateurishly) exactly what kind of psychology is going on here...

Honestly, it could just be that he's a good singer who's around teenagers' age. If you look at any of the other guys who are 'hot' musicians, they're usually in their 20s and it's more like a 'dream crush' kind of thing rather than something that's actually plausible. But these girls may believe that they actually have a shot with JB because he's around our age, hence the more obsessive reactions.

But wait, teen idols in the past were never this popular. Jesse McCartney, Aaron Carter, both were 15-17 when they first became popular (and I have to stop here to add that Jesse McCartney was much MUCH hotter than JB will ever be), yet they never had screaming girls crying over them and stealing their hats. Why? Maybe people are just getting more obsessive in general. Maybe because they never did international tours so girls never got a chance to spaz as much over them. Maybe because they debuted in the time before internet communication became well connected, which is possibly a big factor for JB since he was found through youtube, and the medium that seems to be spurring hate/love is social networking sites where a lot of people gather in one place.

All that said, girls are a lot more obsessive about this than guys. REGARDLESS OF HOW HOT A GIRL IS, guys have NEVER been this obsessed with a girl. Recall twilight obsession... a lot of lovers, a lot of haters, very extremist fandom. mostly female. What is the most obsessed guys have been with anything on this scale? NEVER. Anything that came close was either megan fox (who, btw, has about 50/50 female/male ratio who think she's the hottest woman ever) or leah dizon.

Then again we must recognise that the more lovers something has, the more haters as well. It's almost like tall poppy syndrome in an indirect kind of obscure way. Basically, people start not liking something just because other people like it. Maybe in an effort to be 'different', but in doing this the whole thing blows up because you get extremist lovers and haters and a lot of namecalling and "YOUR OPINION IS STUPID" kind of things... And people come in to back up their friends' and their own opinion, leading to world war 3 over JB... no jk, but come on, it's getting ridiculous.

There is some degree of mob psychology going on here too. Think about it, one person says JB sounds like a girl and can't sing and a million do. The fact that he sounds like a girl, I'll admit, is a fact. But let's face it, he can sing. That's why he's famous. Honestly the empty insults are really quite sad; I'd bet that 99% of the people who say he can't sing can't sing even half as well as he can. JB is a good singer: He has almost perfect pitch, and can handle songs that many singers who are older than him cannot. The only thing is I feel like his voice is going to deteriorate from wearing it out so much and singing so high while he's young like Keita Tachibana's did (KT from w-inds, japanese band). Keita is still a good singer even tho he can't reach the octaves he used to be able to though, so it's not like JB will sound totally terrible after his voice breaks.

I'm not defending him, he's still cocky as and too short for the girls in his videos, but come on guys, let's not get so extreme over a kid who's our age. I doubt he cares so much about his haters, and haters breed lovers like lovers breed haters. As a bystander, I find that JB fangirls are about as annoying as JB haters. Putting someone down is a way of raising their popularity too, so let's not make such a big deal out of a guy who is, by himself, not that big anyway (pun totally intended).

Google Suggestions

You know you're bored and procrastinating when you decide to type your name and various things into google and use the first phrase for a game... here's one I found on a forum:

Q: Type in "[your name] needs" in the Google search.
Q: Type in "[your name] looks like" in Google search.
Q: Type in "[your name] says" in Google search.
Q: Type in "[your name] wants" in Google search.
Q:Type in "[your name] does" in Google search.
Q: Type in "[your name] hates" in Google search.
Q: Type in "[your name] asks" in Google search.
Q: Type in "[your name] likes " in Google search.
Q: Type in "[your name] eats " in Google search.
Q: Type in "[your name] wears " in Google search.
Q: Type in "[your name] was arrested for" in Google Search.
Q: Type in "[your name] loves" in Google Search.

My results...

1) Winnie needs to cross a bridge

2) Winnie looks like a snow globe ):

3) Winnie says he's only fighting "fair and square" (i'm a man)

4) Winnie wants a handsome male (Yes, yes I do XD)

5) Winnie does not appear too pleased with Kevin's arrival

6) Winnie hates K Mart to death (LOL?)

7) Winnie asks Willie if she were ever "lovable," but he does not respond (OMGGGGG this is sparknotes, apparently from a book called 'happy days')

8) Winnie likes JENS LEKMAN.

9) Winnie eats world; eating my way around the world, one bite at a time (nomnomnom)

10) Winnie wears bells I brought home from India (I'm a cat now am I?)

11) Winnie was arrested for being in the presence of another banned person. (whaaat.)

12) Winnie loves us. (Yes, yes I do :] I love you all)

welllp that's me signing off for now I suppose. playing minesweeper C: enjoy the rest of your day?

people

Everyone's different. Lately I find myself more and more objectively looking at people and evaluating their good and bad parts, and I realised that each person has a little good and bad in them. Nobody is a good person, and nobody is a bad person. People are people. Diversity is everywhere.

When listening to (eavesdropping on) people smack talk about others behind their backs, it becomes apparent that people don't really like others who are radically different from themselves and somehow feel that expressing this observation with someone else is beneficial. Interestingly, more often than not, the rantee agrees with the ranter. I wonder, is this really how they feel or are they just keeping the ranter happy?

There is soooo much talking behind people's backs these days, it's really a bit tragic. And of course, the people people talk about are invariably the ones they spend long periods of time with, the people who are supposedly their friends. Quoting Owl City, "With friends like (those), who needs enemies?"

You know, sometimes I feel like people who talk about others behind their backs are somewhat insecure, and either want to talk bad about others to bring themselves upwards and feel better about themselves, or really do have an issue with the person but just don't have the guts to confront them straight up. People will say they cbf, but that sounds like bullshit. They're able to spend the effort on talking about it with someone else, and it should take the same amount of effort to confront the subject directly, right? Or, they'll say that they don't want things to become awkward for everyone else, or they don't want to create drama. Well in that case, isn't it smarter to just not talk about it at all and keep their dislike for the person to themselves? =/

I guess I'm starting to feel the pressure of being a teenager. Sigh, according to Fletch and Vaughn, the bullshit levels are 'dangerously low' and they advised everyone to 'talk crap' about people. Maybe it's just me but I'm pretty sure bullshit levels are at an all time high.

No one's an angel. I'm pretty sure that most people try to keep themselves in a positive light, and try to bring people on their side and make their side of the story sound 'right' and the other person 'wrong', but sometimes I think it's important to evaluate and judge our own actions, not just others'.

Having said that, I've found that evaluating one's own actions can cause a paradoxical thinking process and lead one to believe that she is going insane. But you know, I guess at least I'm thinking about the things I do? Although going by my reasoning, everything I've just said above about other people is judgmental as well and I'm just a huge hypocrite. But you know what, there's just no way around that in this world. Life's not fair. And I'll accept that I can be a hypocrite, even though I try not to be. And I'm no angel either. Everyone has good and bad in them. I guess the most I can do is try to do good whenever I remember, and hope that everyone will forgive all the bad things about me... Of course I can't expect that either though.

Ah... with people like this, one starts to wonder how the world functions at all...

nice people have it the hardest

The alarm clock goes off; I wake up. Another day for me I guess. Julian's already running around making an unruly racket away from his mother, as usual. I sigh and get up, stretching my arms. Seems like every day's the same for me nowadays. It's almost like I'm caught in a time flux where the same day repeats and repeats, except the date and seasons change...

I stand up and go to the kitchen, tripping over the cat as she scampers over to her food bowl and eagerly waits for her breakfast. Can't ever ignore that cat, otherwise she bites me, so I go and fill up her bowl first before I get my own food ready. My wife's ranting at me again, saying how I should come home earlier to take care of Julian so she can finally have a peaceful afternoon. Same old story, just another day...

Dunno when it started falling apart like this. I'm just a nice guy who tries to help everyone out... Seems like no matter what I try to do, someone's still not happy. It's like trying to drink water and breathe at the same time; an impossible juggling act.

"Why the fuck do you always have to do so much extra?" my wife always asks me. Is it so bad that I try to help people out selflessly? Well, that was what it was at first. But then it seems like everyone started to rely on me, and if I didn't continue my charity and keep my cheerful mask on, everyone would be disappointed and angry because they'd think I was just being selfish. We wouldn't want that, would we Sara? But damn, I could never say that to her. I just sit there and take it like the fucking slave that I am.

Sometimes I get so mad at myself that I can't stand up to other people. But the words just never come out...

I guess this is just my life. Forever trapped in an endless loop of serving others and getting yelled at by my family. I guess I've grown used to it. A complacent prisoner, that's what I am. I can stand for this to happen for the rest of my life. Well, I have to.

"Come on Jess," I whistle to the cat and put on my hat, forcing a plastic smile onto my face for the day and exit the house with my wife still ranting behind me.

Then some fuckhead (dunno who it is, he does this every damn morning) starts singing as if he's taunting me, and every morning I feel my plastic smile droop a bit, and I have to fix it back on before I get on with the rest of my day...

♪♫...~~Postman Pat, Postman Pat, Postman Pat and his black and white cat~~♫ ♪...

dammit guys now I have to do this + drunkness

Time started: 9.10pm
Name: Winnie
Single or Taken: Single
Sex: Female
Birthday: July 30
Sign: Leo
Eye colour: Brown
What are you wearing: sleeping clothes! :]
Where do you live: Auckland, NZ
Righty or lefty: Righty ^^

FAVORITE
_______________________________________
Where is your favorite place to shop: New york city or chinese super malls :]
Color: White
Number: 7. That's right laina. I went there.
Boys Name: idk. Lucas, Hunter, Charles
Girls Name: Winnie ofc =P
Animal: Mmmm~ birds ^^
Month: Summer holidays.
Movie: No.
Juice: Orange. Simple haha
Breakfast: FRENCH TOAST, BACON AND FRIED EGGS ^^
Favorite cartoon character: Winnie the pooh, ofc. =P

...oh god I'm so self centered :]

HAVE YOU EVER
_______________________________________
Given anyone a bath: Yes
Smoked: No
Bungee Jumped: No, but want to one day
Gone skinny dipping: No
Eaten a dog: Not a whole dog, but I have had dog
Put your tongue on a frozen pole: No
Loved someone so much it made you cry: Yes
Broken a bone: No
Played truth or dare: Yes
Been in a physical fight: Yes
Been in a police car: Yes
Been in a hot tub: Yes
Swam in the ocean: No
Fallen asleep in school: Yes
Ran away: No
Broken someone’s heart: Idk maybe
Cried when someone died: No
Cried in school: Yes
Fell off your chair: Yes many times
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: No
Saved AIM/MSN conversation: Yes it autosaves.

WHAT IS
_______________________________________
Your good luck charm: It changes as good things happen to me. hahahaha like I think, I was wearing that shirt when this happened, so maybe if I wear it again something good will happen again :D yeah I'm kind of superstitious.
Best song you ever heard: this
What’s your room like: MESSY. I WAS MEANT TO TIDY IT UP TODAY BUT WAS TOO CBF
What kind of shampoo do you use: Pantene classic clean with dove conditioner
Do you believe in karma: Yes definitely.

HAVE YOU HAD
_______________________________________
Chicken pox: Yes
Sore Throat: Yes
Stitches: Yes
Broken nose: No

DO YOU
_______________________________________
Believe in love at first sight: No
Like picnics: Not that keen but I guess with certain people would be fun
Like school: ........mlehhh
What schools have you gone to: HNPS, WHPS, MRPS, STCC (I still don't know why they put a T in it, it doesn't stand for anything == fail acronym)
Would you eat a live hamster for $1,000,000 dollars: Couldn't swallow it. I'd do it if it was cooked for me. And I'd pay them half the million as well.
Who was the last person that called you: Dad
What makes you laugh the most: Hahaha other people :]

LAST PERSON
_______________________________________
You yelled at: Oooo. Good question. O_o
Who broke your heart: Myself =/

Who is your loudest friend: YUJIE :] and maybe shuhua when she's drunk. (HA HA HA HA HA HA retarded laughing)

DO YOU/ARE YOU
_______________________________________
Do you like filling these out: Omg why the hell is this one so long.
Do you wear contacts or glasses: Glasses
Do you like yourself: Sometimes. Well I try to. At least if other people don't like you there's always one person who can accept you as you are :] it's very important to love yourself
Do you get along with your family: Yes
Obsessive: Sometimes... a lot of the time...
Compulsive: Sometimes
Anorexic: No

FINAL QUESTIONS
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What are you listening to right now: Bad Day - Daniel Powter
What did you do yesterday: Disney party, got owned by minimum alcohol and lay around crying and in pain for hours. But I'll elaborate later.
Hate someone in your family: No
What car do you wish you had: Unrealistically, AM DBS/Vanquish, Audi R8... Realistically, One of those really sexy new white honda integras.
Where do you want to get married: Do I even want to get married?
If you could change anything about yourself, what would it be: Better eyes, 20/20 xray vision plz.
How many remote controls are in your house: oh shit. like. 20. let me count. 4 TVs, 2 wii remotes, 2 dvd players, 1 sky remote... that's... 4+2+2+1=9? D: I'm SURE there's more.
Are you double jointed: People told me I am
Last time you took a bath: A bathtub bath? Idk a few months ago lol
The last movie you saw at the cinemas: She's out of my league
Do you like scary or happy movies: Happy haha
Black or white: White
Root Beer or Dr. Pepper: Haven't tasted either
Vanilla or chocolate: Vanilla
Silver or Gold: Gold
Diamond or Pearl: Diamonds are a girl's best friend
Sunset or Sunrise: Sunrise
Sprite or 7up: They taste the same
Cats or Dogs: Idk both are cute
Coffee or Tea: Both
Phone or in person: I hate the phone
Are you the oldest, middle, youngest or only child: Oldest
Indoor or outdoor: Outdoor :]

and now it's 9.37pm. Jesus christ that was long. And now I don't even feel like updating. Okay so basically I had alcohol last night, got owned and died. As you know I don't hold alcohol well and I was traumatized because Julia raped me and I had a throbbing headache. Someone described to me what a hangover feels like and that's EXACTLY what I was feeling last night. So we can conclude from 2 separate experiments that winnie does not get drunk, winnie gets hung over. immediately. god I hate alcohol. Oh yeah and for some reason I started crying uncontrollably for no reason. wtf, I don't know.

anyway I started watching skins since I found out it's actually on youtube and youtube loads pretty fast for me nowadays, and hahahaha idk I don't like it as much as laina but it's alright. Tony's cute :] but he's also a sociopath I swear. And Effy's so prettttyyyyy +__+

Oh yeah and I also made a formspring. So if you ever need to ask me something go there. I promise to answer EVERY question :]

That's it I guess. Oh yeah and I'm pretty sure the person I rant to about my problems is getting annoyed with my rantings now hahahahaha...

zzz a txt meme

So, in the time when I'm meant to be studying for my physics exam, I'm slacking off and about to go to sleep! :]

My friend sent me the below text:

'If u saw me in a police car, wat would u think i got arrested for? Answer me, then 4ward an c hw many crimes u get accused of !'

Since I was bored and not doing work like the good girl I should be, I forwarded it... these were the responses I got back:

on msn: wtf! I don't even have txts left!
by txt:

- You sweet talked the guy into giving you a lift

- I would think u got lost and they wr takn u home or ur mum didnt no whr u wr so cald up th police XD

- Being too beautiful ( awwww made my evening haha :] )

- Something sheldon like lolol

- Arrested for spamming tony

- Asian driving... or a hit and run =)

- Mistaken for a hobo in town :) arrested for assaulting a policeman

- Trying 2 pull a heist... ur the computer guy sitting in the van hacking in2 the security lol

- Arrested for eating evryones food :D

- Nerdiness. Without a doubt.

You guys should try this one hahaha it's fun XD

a (fake) ghost

Has anyone else ever seen the bearded hatted old man walking around the greenlane/epsom/remuera area? The one who's always carrying a messenger bag and seems to always be powerwalking, wearing shorts even in winter. His wispy beard and beret-ed head which I can only imagine as somewhat bald reminds me of santa claus sometimes. well, a very skinny version of him anyway.

I ALWAYS see him. every day, without fail, almost every day for the last 3 or 4 years... Sometimes walking past him, sometimes I see him from the car window... I became convinced that I was the only one who could see him, since noone else ever said anything. But maybe everyone was thinking the same thing? For a period of time I thought he might be some kind of ghost or guardian angel who was following me around. It was a nice thought, for a while, until my dad commented this morning about how he always saw him as we passed him in the car ): my paranormal conjectures were completely shattered by 1 sentence sigh.

But it's okay little old man. I'll still think of you as my haunting ghost as long as I see you every now and again. And when you suddenly stop following me around, I'm sure I'll feel some kind of loss in my heart...

dedicated to all the people who sometimes feel like they're alone...

On the surface, I suppose I'm a pretty nice person. I take my time to go around and donate to charities, to volunteer for foundations, even spare some change for the homeless on the street even if it's apparent they're just going to use that money to get their next hit of heroin. I'm working in a relatively respected career, and I've gotten three promotions in the last two years. You could say my life's pretty good, if you weren't living it yourself.

But beneath the porcelain mask I wear each day, under the flowery mist of designer perfumes and the facade of a heart that radiates happiness, I'm something else entirely. I never thought that humans were two dimensional. We're all very complex characters, and can't be described using just a few adjectives. It's a pity that most people seem to think so.

I'm often described as 'bright', 'promising', 'hardworking', 'reliable', 'kind', 'loving', but I wonder if anyone ever stopped to think if I needed some kindness and loving in return. I'm not as generous as people make me out to be... It hurts, to give and give and not get anything to compensate. I'm not as saintlike as those martyrs who, in my opinion, must be sociopaths if they really are that saintlike. Call me selfish, but it's just human nature; we all need a little kindness in this world.

We're all just pursuing our personal happiness, aren't we? Why do we have to push others down to propel ourselves forward? Why must the kind people suffer, while the cruel prosper? Sometimes I think God is just playing games with us.

From when we were children, we were always led to believe that the world was a perfect, fair place. We try so hard to hide the fact that the world is a festering of chaos and injustice, instead of addressing the problem straight up. I often feel like my perceptions of the world have been perverted by reality, my idyllic paradise from childhood tarnished by the lies and hatred of the world.

It must be form of black satire I think, that humans can't even uphold a sense of 'humanity'. I try to smile, to stay optimistic, to keep giving without needing anything in return... but people just keep passing me by. Perhaps the whole world is living like I do, or perhaps the world really is that dark. I manage to tolerate all the little things, but even little things build up. Maybe one day I'll snap, or maybe my optimism will pay off and a deus ex machina will appear and solve all my problems. It doesn't take much. Maybe a genuine 'thank you', maybe a real smile, maybe a friendship or relationship without strings attached...

I'm so tired of being lied to for personal gain.

I'm so tired of being taken advantage of.

I was told that giving would be enough.

It's not.

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idk I'm in a storytelling mood lately :] even tho most of my noob writings are unorthodox and have weak structure and flow, I'm happy to just keep writing my noob writings.

a puppet show

She told me that the world was full of people, and I retorted that there was no one as special as her on our earth. She shook her head and told me that one day I'd find someone just like her, maybe halfway around the world. After all, there are six or seven billion of us; the chance of the same two people existing are quite high. That's what she said, anyway.

That day, under the old oak tree, was a day it seems I'll spend the rest of my life trying to go back to. When we were still children, void of understanding of the harsh realities of life. She smiled at me, a dazzling smile, and the sound of her laughter drowned the high pitched squawks of seagulls and the rushing of the waves onto the warm sand. Sunlight leaked through the leaves above us and the shadow puppets it formed danced around in the breeze, telling their own stories and emulating the beginning of our friendship like it was a puppet show. Yes, it was a peaceful day. How I wish things were still the same.

Our friendship was really similar to those shadows on the sand, now that I think about it. It began when the sun started to shine, a desperate tango in the summer air. I'd strayed from my mother's arm, seeking refuge underneath the oak, the most beautiful thing I could see for miles. I reasoned that my mother would naturally be attracted to it. She'd done something similar. It's a funny thing how inanimate objects can bring two people together like that; to be fair though, it really was a remarkable tree. Sometimes I wonder if it's still there, and how many other ties it's inspired, or if it was just us. I wonder if we were special, or just another mundane coincidence without meaning. I wonder if all life is like that, if we're living just to die or if we're actually important. In the end I always decide that I have the right to give something meaning. Otherwise, everything she'd said would have been meaningless. And I certainly don't want that.

As a puppet act has an opening and closing, so apparently had our friendship. We discussed many things that day, shared all our secrets, had the most fun I've ever had. But as light leaves, so must the shadows. I've never gone back to that tree. I'm afraid that if I do, I'll meet her again, and the time we had would have been less meaningful, less special. At the same time, I do want to see her again. That day is the most vivid memory I have, so vivid that sometimes I wonder if it even happened.

Twenty years after that day under the oak tree, the 'me' on this earth is quite different to the boy who held her hand and told her that when we grew up we'd get married. Often I feel stupid; it's certainly doubtful that she would even remember an insignificant day like that one. But I don't care; even though I never knew her name, I remember her hair that blew in the breeze, her sunkissed face and her rosy lips, her amazing smile and her bright blue eyes reflecting the cerulean sky...

But, she lied, and I can never forgive her for that. I've traveled around the world and seen all the places I could see. Yet, I've never found anyone quite like her.

pot luck

yup, POT LUCK -- a collection of otherwise random and unrelated things that I feel the need to blog about because I have nothing better to do and am exercising procrastination.

well, yesterday after we finished our dragon boating practice and came ashore, the dio girls were getting ready to go on the water and there were these two hot SHIRTLESS guys just standing there looking hot (as they like to do) amongst a sea of girls. Not that I'm complaining. Later, I found out they were the coaches for the dio teams. WTF! WHY CAN'T WE HAVE COACHES LIKE THAT ): I suppose they may prove as a distraction but it might also be motivation for some? siiigh, dio has finally beaten us at something...

Milo cereal tastes great not only with maple and walnut ice cream but with vanilla as well. I was actually really looking forward to coming home and having some vanilla ice cream with milo flakes but some douchebag finished the tub ): so now I am sad ):

Hmmm, what is happening in my life? Nothing really. It's been pretty stress free lately I reckon. Day after day after day after day~~ cruising along... our time is running out sigh. we're really lucky to be able to live so calmly and peacefully like this though.

today, I found out that the little tabs on top of cans are actually meant to be used to open the can, and then you're meant to twist it around over the hole and put your straw into that hole, to stop it from moving around. I never knew that!! Apparently that's what the tab is actually designed to do... printmaking sure is educational :P speaking of those tabs on the cans, they're apparently also really valuable, because they're made of almost pure tin, whereas the rest of the can is aluminium, which is why often in garbage cans the tabs have been removed because people go around taking them off the cans. If you trade in like 200 of those you can get $100 from the junkyard or something. Every time I throw away a can without taking off the tabs now I feel like I'm throwing way part of that $100...

Rachmaninov's Rhapsody On A Theme Of Paganini Op. 43 Var. 18 sounds really nice~~ it's so calming and mellow :]

Today, there were only 5 people in my physics class because everyone was on the bio trip. Fortunately this meant that we got to toast marshmallows using a concave mirror and the sun. as Mr Olsson says, If one is ever trapped on a desert island with a packet of marshmallows and a giant mirror, one now knows how to make a delicious meal :D they were really nice. Although, we only had time to do 3 because the stupid sun kept going behind a cloud. we burnt a lot of paper while trying to find the focus point though. pity that toasted paper doesn't really taste that nice.

that's all for now I suppose~ updates from my mundane life haha. maybe more pot luck updates will occur in the future, if you guys like reading about random events in my life...

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who am I kidding, I'd make entries like this even if you don't like them =P