Fine lines

"Between the Lines" by strany

Okay so today I'm going to talk about 2 lines in our society that I think we should be all aware of... Actually I've been meaning to write something like this for a long time but I never had the willpower to get off my ass and actually write it. So here goes XD

1. The difference between being honest and being an asshole.

When asked "Does this dress make me look fat?",

The nice friend says, "No, you always look pretty"

The honest friend says, "I don't think the colour suits you, you should try the same style in ___"

The asshole friend says, "Yeah you look like a fatass."

I think a lot of people have this idea that being blunt and honest = being an asshole. I've known some people who try to always be nice and then end up digging themselves holes because that's not what they really think (and we all know how hard it is to keep spinning a lie...), resulting in awkward moments... but it's okay to be honest, as long as you're being constructive. Obviously it's not good to be TOO blunt ie. being an asshole, but I think that being honest is very important.

I've found that girls especially try to go around doing things a lot because they want to be polite or something. Anyway I've heard from guys that it drives them crazy because they're never sure what girls want. Playing hard to get might be a warped form of this honesty thing too.... I never understood why girls want to wait for the guy to do everything without showing any signs of interest themselves... how would he know?! The squeaky door gets the oil :] And no, it doesn't make you easy or anything :l it's just common sense... when we want something we go get it right? What makes this any different...?

Also when it comes to problems, if you just act unhappy and don't let other people know exactly why, just sulk around, it's not going to solve your problem any faster. Waiting for other people to apologize is hardly constructive. Even if it was the other person who wronged you, I think there's a degree of courage and admirableness about being able to be the bigger person and trying to somehow rectify the situation. Sitting around pretending you're okay when you're obviously not is not practical!

When someone comes to you with a problem and ask for your honest opinion, you should give it to them. Don't try to sugarcoat it too much, but don't be harshly blunt either. It's a delicate balance, hence why I named this entry "fine lines"... Speaking from first hand experience as the person with the problem, I get pretty annoyed when the other person is obviously not telling the truth (and it's more obvious than you think) and trying to make everything happy happy. Let's be realistic, not everything ends up happily ever after in our lives. Bad things happen, and when they do we want a realistic piece of advice. Having said that, "lol you're fucked" is not exactly helpful either.

2. The difference between intelligence and knowledge

"You're so smart! You know everything!"

The above statement does not make logical sense to me. In my opinion, just because someone is smart doesn't mean they are necessarily knowledgeable, and just because someone is knowledgeable does not necessarily mean they are smart. Being knowledgeable just means you know a lot of things. Maybe that's what being wise is as well, having had lots of experiences and having knowledge about a lot of things. Being intelligent, I think, is something we are born with. The common sense and ability to absorb information... the actual ability and potential to learn is intelligence. The actual material learnt is knowledge. I'm not sure if that make sense, but that's what I think anyway.

Today, someone asked me, "Do you think that people who can't read, are totally illiterate, have bad grammar and ugly handwriting, unable to read music, don't have a proper education and don't know anything are failures at life?" I said no, and asked what if they'd just never had the opportunity to learn any of those things. She said that she thought they were still failures, because they were totally stupid and useless. I thought that was a bit harsh, and I still stand firmly by my point. The fact that they don't have any KNOWLEDGE does not = they are stupid. For all we know, they have the potential to become the next Bill Gates. Who, by the way, dropped out from college (well one can argue that that's a substantial degree of education, but I know some people who think people who haven't got a university degree from a top university are failures at life. narrowmindedness? I think so). I know a lot of elitists like that actually... people who think that unless you are THE BEST, you are a failure. I disagree. Life is full of experiences, and one person's idea of failure is never going to be universal, unless some kind of brainwashing and breach of human rights occurs. :]

Anyway back on topic, just because you have a lot of knowledge doesn't mean you are smart. Just like just because you are an expert on coffee mugs and know everything there is to know about them and collect them doesn't make you awesome, it just means you have too much spare time and not enough friends (lol jk, I love coffee mugs). And just because you are smart doesn't mean you are knowledgeable. Just like if you're Stephen Hawking and you don't know how to walk (lol jk okay sorry that was harsh, I love Stephen Hawking too). In the end though, if you are neither smart nor knowledgeable, then you sure as hell better have a good personality or are mega hot because I seriously can't think of any other way you can survive :l

3. The difference between having a third point and not

I originally had a third point to talk about but in my fervor in typing the above 2 I have actually completely forgotten what it was going to be. But I wanted to write 3 points because it's a nice round number. So, sorry guys. I think it's getting a bit long anyway hahaha.