...I have nothing in mind to write about whatsoever. well... I'm feeling somewhat melancholy. had a pretty good dmc on msn a few minutes ago... Life is going really fast. Next year we will be 6th formers already. It's been over a decade since we started school as 5 year olds. I feel like a big chunk of my childhood is already missing somehow. When we look back to our childhoods and we feel the nostalgia, I somehow feel like I thought it would last forever. but it didn't; it's over now. I thought I told myself to stop thinking about the past and look to the future instead, but it's too hard because every minute that I spend thinking about the future becomes the past and it's another 60 seconds disappeared that I will never have again... even if it's something little, it makes me feel so, so sad. After all the future is full of uncertainties. If we spend our time thinking about what could be, we would never stop thinking, since there are too many possibilities. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my life away... but yet at the same time I have nothing else I want to be doing instead of this life I feel like I'm wasting... maybe I just don't want to grow up, don't want to move forward? I want to be able to enjoy myself forever like this. Sometimes I feel like I wouldn't mind freezing time, if it means I would stay forever in this world. I don't think I could ever get bored of life. My biggest regret when I die will be not being able to live to see the world move on... I'm going to feel like I'm missing so much. Like a movie that you leave in the middle of and never watch again, you will never stop wondering what happened. But we'll be dead, you say... we'll never know what became of the world we departed. But that doesn't change my feelings about how I would feel after my death if I was still conscious before I die... (did that make sense? I think I will have lost everybody by now...)
human emotions are so complex. the above sounds so emotional, so depressed but it's the truth about what I feel. It will never change. Yet I can still live on my life and not think about it, remaining rather content, but when it comes up, my mood changes immediately. but should I ignore what makes me sad even if it's part of who I am? is it better to be ignorant after all? there seems to be pros and cons for everything... making choices is getting harder and harder.
but in spite of all this some things are just heartwarming no matter what. (:
5 comments:
in looking for alibrandi, when talking about josie michael says the reverse of something you said: that it was like he picked up a book and had to start reading halfway (as opposed to leaving a movie before it finishes)
i dont think you should ignore your feeling sad.. i mean, you dont have to think about it all the time, but you dont have to suppress it either. thinking about things is good, even if its a question which doesnt have an answer. especially so.
"what is a chair?"
You can't stop yourself from thinking the way you do. Because what you say is true, really. I guess all one can do is invest in the happy moments, where the what-ifs and what-might-be's don't seem so haunting (:
We can't freeze time, but we sure as hell can (try) make the most of it.
The above seems quite deep for me ahaaha. Cheer up buddy :D
poo. I think you should be in the liking of living in endless 8. *accompany
nostalgia is a wonderful thing, made me rewatch the first season of power rangers, and to dl not working copies of the famous and loved secret of monkey island and grim fandango.
.. That made me sad.
I agree with what kim and steph said
honey you need to stop thinking about thinking about thinking.
it makes u sad and takes too much winnietiem.
be sad and winniethinkingtiems
but also just be like 'fck it. all i can do is what i can do. and what i can do is limited to the laws of physics as we know it. and as i am in freefall i am travelling at 10ms-1...'
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