lack of updates

^by laina.

so yeah, it's been a while, i'm not sure if it's because I am mentally stable right now or if I just cbs updating but either way here's an update just because I feel guilty for not updating.

exam results are back, yet I feel more stress than ever lol... lucy's moving to aus, so I have to prepare a goodbye present... also a lot of internals coming up, and the like... and I need to tidy my desk. must also prepare stuffs for DO ><><>>

and also, @laina, since you keep pestering about ncea/ib I think I'm probably going to take ib. but even now I have no idea wtf I am taking within that. also I don't like making final decisions so I might change my mind again later but right now it's pretty sure. ugh, I feel so inadequate lately though. seems like everyone else is trying so hard at school and I feel like I'm actually trying less. I feel like my standards have dropped or something >> admittedly it could be a good thing to avoid stressing out about results but still, aim high = higher results right? sigh... I find that I'm affected very easily by outside factors when it should really be what I want and what's best for me, but what if those are conflicting? and what if I don't even know what I want...

well, I suppose a coin flip could be used, but even I'm not that carefree when it comes to life changing decisions.

getting late, grandma wants to go to fleamarket real early tomorrow, I think we're meant to be out the door by 8am tomorrow or something (ridiculous I know) so eh, night for now >< really wish I actually had something interesting to say, but I don't.