Let's find beauty in subtlety.


Thoughts I always have when I am on the bus, or walking along the street. See my string (cheese) theory... I am sad that I don't get to intertwine myself with other people's lives much.

A girl in her late twenties, in a light grey-turquoise overcoat, pink speckled scarf, flips over a page in a leather bound book in her lap. I sit across the bus from her and one row behind, and am at first struck by this image.What is it about this woman that made me notice her so much?  A perfectly neat ear-lengthed blonde bob, dark long eyelashes shading her eyes, focused on this artefact of hers -- it is not often I see someone reading on the bus. Well, I do, but it is normally popular fiction, or magazines, or on a Kindle or smartphone. Perhaps I am attracted to this vintage aura? It is such a picturesque sight: brown oxfords, black tights, pearl earrings. The epitome of classiness and sophistication?

These are the thoughts that I first had as I sat down that morning on the bus. An abnormal sight, or just a typical sight accompanied by atypical thoughts? Who knows.

It was a slightly sad moment then, when I hopped off that bus and saw the woman with the book take off her earphones connected to an iPhone. But, although the illusion of her quaint time traveling was destroyed (she became slightly less interesting to me upon my discovery that she was also not exempt from the technology and conventions of our times), she made a strange impression on me and perhaps even stranger impact on my morning.

It occurred to me again (I say again because I often have such thoughts, just normally at very random and sparse moments), after seeing that woman, that there are so many subtle things to be appreciated in the world, beyond the business of everyday life, beyond the materialism and politics and fights for power and justice and even simply the grinding on to live our lives. I see the water droplets falling down the side windows, all refracting the same orange-blue gradient of the city's sunrise. A thousand tiny bunsen burner flames, orange bases fighting for oxygenated combustion as sun took over the sky and painted our ceiling cerulean: beautiful.

Beyond the traffic on the on ramp onto the motorway is the architecture of our city central. The sharp lines, smooth curves, parallel lines and solid geometries -- manipulation of aesthetic space like I had never seen it before. I marvelled; was I simply usually too oblivious to the view of what I considered to be everyday landscapes? I yearned to take it all in, but it is the emotion inspired that is unfortunately too ephemeral to keep. I knew I'd miss it when I leave -- but then, maybe it was only due to the realisation of leaving that my eyes were opened to these thoughts.

I smile as I see the statue in Albert Park dons a giant orange cone on his head. His 19th century attire and aged bronze skin make him look somewhat like a mockup of a Harry Potter wizard. I slowed to take a picture but felt a bit too self conscious and kept walking. Besides, a picture never quite captures what is saturated in reality.

A bird flies overhead, and lands on the streetlight. A second joins in, flapping its wings more rapidly as it decelerates and lands on the same light. They squawk at each other.

What a wonderful world.

Someone asked me a few days ago, what is it that I live for. What gives me hope, keeps me living, keeps me going in times of sadness and grief? I respond that sadness and grief and tragedy and despair are all part of the human condition, and are not things we will ever be able to escape from. Without them, we would never know the true meaning of happiness either. Appreciate the spectrum of human experiences, even if they are painful. We need not enjoy them, but at least an appreciation of their role in our lives is important to me. Not only this, but I don't think I need to search for hope. It is all around us -- especially in countries like New Zealand, where we actually have the resources to enjoy the world for what it is. No matter what our lives are things to be grateful for.

What I realised after that bus ride is the joy of living in a totally zen moment, without the distractions of our modern and busy lives. Working towards that degree is important, but I must remember to never lose touch with what is solid and real and stable beneath and around us. Appreciate subtle beauty.

pot luck # 5


Not sure why I haven't blogged in so long, but it's probably healthy for me to now. Haven't said anything for over a month, and the new blogger layout is so different (even the post screen is different!! How do I use this...?), and I had very little to say and yet at the same time so much to say that I didn't bother saying anything at all.

I guess I will have to make this a pot luck entry because I haven't updated in so long.
... I just had to go back to see what number pot luck I am up to haha!

1. There is this window in my bathroom. It is small, and in the morning if you get up around the same time as the sun rises, you can see the light spilling into the room through that tiny window. Even if you have the lights on, the light from the window seems to chase all artificial light away. You can see a bit of the sky, and on different days it shows different emotions. On rainy or overcast days all you see is a sheet of white. Other mornings it is bright sky blue without any clouds. But I like it best when it is like above -- orange and pink hues mixing with the blue, the purple hazed horizon and the sunrise warming the whole image. It is like, I am in my own life and in my own house but something so small as a window can lead me into what life is really about -- all this beauty, all these experiences that are so close to me and all around which I may sometimes forget about. I like how that window reminds me of that. La vie est vraiment belle si on l'apprecie.

2. THIS is awesome:

I am listening to this on repeat while writing this post.

3. UNI IS SO BIPOLAR!!! Some days I feel somewhat overwhelmed with all the projects/tests/assignments due but then after a certain 'block' of these everything is so calm and I'm like omg i'm so bored and calm and stuff, nothing to do, but like 2 DAYS LATER MAX it picks up again. @___@ somewhat unhealthy lifestyle. I can't be like those people who can't sleep ): I'm getting forehead pimples and stuff like that just from the weird stress.

4. I feel like blogging provides some kind of weird catharsis of emotions that I haven't had much of and thus have been feeling somewhat bottled up lately. I think it's good to talk to an indiscriminate audience, to 'no one' as yunbin has correctly pointed out that I have spelled wrong in the description to the right (but idc actually, I fail with irony, making the point that I can do stuff how I like and there's nothing you can do about it, so I'm going to leave the grammatical/spelling error as is -hipster glasses flash-). But yeah, I feel like I'm weirdly overemotional lately and it's not cool. It's not the healthy kind of emotional its the obsessive wtf kind.  The kind I haven't experienced for years, so it's distantly familiar and a sick part of it is so attractive that I like being overemotional and dumb but I'd rather stop lollll. It will pass.

5. I am leaving in 3 months and feel like I have a lot of loose ends to tie up with objects and people. But 3 months still feels like a long time and I keep wanting to start new stuff but I remember that I'll have to leave more stuff behind and it's irritating and a pity and I hate it. Why can't things just be teleportable or something? It's weird that I'm finishing this semester and people are starting to talk about next semester and I'm not gonna be here for most of it. I've met a lot of people I'd like to get to know better and am majorly frustrated that I won't be able to.

I definitely have other stuff to say. I don't feel properly cleansed yet, but I can't think of anything specific right now...... so I will leave it at that. :D Promise to blog more often. Curse you uni and my own laziness!