pride, humility, & self-esteem


Something I've come to notice is that generally, the people that the general population dislikes are either really weird, annoying, or "up themselves". People really don't like it when others are arrogant and think they are the best ever. I suppose it's a convention in society to have a bit of humility; even if you think conforming is a stupid thing to do, if you're prepared to be prideful you have to have a certain amount of self esteem, because it's almost guaranteed other people will try to bring you down.

Honestly the ones that are arrogant to the point where they don't care what other people say are actually people that have great confidence and will go pretty far in this world. Let's face it; no matter how much of a saint you are, people are still gonna talk. HATERS GONNA HATE. The 'jerks' who have the inflated ego and self esteem higher than the Taipei 101 are the ones who have the upper hand. Simply put, if you don't care what other people say about you, it doesn't matter how much of an asshole you are. That's something I believe in quite strongly. It's a pity I care so much what other people think, because the more I think about it, these 'assholes' are the ones that are actually happy with themselves, their choices and their lives, and they need no validation for any of their actions from others. They don't need to compromise, they know what they want and they don't need to stop at nothing to get it.

The problem arises because a lot of the 'arrogant' people only act that way because of their low self esteem. It's a way to make themselves feel better about themselves I suppose. I mean I have a decent amount of pride, and sometimes I can feel myself getting a bit cocky about it, but actually I am quite afraid of failure and how others perceive me. Then there's the 'fishing for compliments' and boasting, just so others will congratulate you and thus you feel better about yourself. But actually this arrogance isn't intrinsic; it comes externally. Often the ones that seem the most confident are the ones that are the most afraid on the inside. But what's better, the low self esteemed guy who sits and mopes to themselves or the asshole arrogant guy? IMO the arrogant person is better. At least they have a sense of self worth; how can anyone respect you if you can't even respect yourself? In fact, if you respect yourself enough, other people won't even matter :P

So where does humility come into this? Well, it seems that the ideal is to have confidence, but be modest about it. Being prideful about what you are good at is okay, but it's also good to be humble about the things you're not good at. Accepting you have faults, I suppose. It sounds good, but more and more I see people being modest not because they really are, but just for social convention. So it makes me question whether people are actually displaying humility or are in fact just trying to fit in with the crowd. Not that there's anything wrong with that (in order to survive, one must adapt), but it's interesting. I do think that having humility while being confident is harder than being outright arrogant though. Personally I have no problem with arrogant people (seeing as I tend to transform into one on occasion), but I respect those who are humble about their accomplishments a lot more.

Pride is also everywhere in our world, it's not something we can avoid. Wars begin due to nationalism & patriotism, pride in one's country. Gay/Lesbian Pride parades are frequent occurrences as people want to show that they are proud of who they are, not ashamed. Christianity describes Pride as the mother of its 7 sins, yet the Bible states that "God said, Let us make man in our image" (Genesis 1:26), "I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well." (Psalms 139:14), suggesting that God would like us to love our forms... despite how the church uses the Bible as a justification for their beliefs that homosexuals are somehow inferior (but that's more of an issue of Christianity, not pride). Also paradoxically, when searching "love yourself" into google, the first thing that comes up is the greek story of Narcissus, which is suppose to discourage loving yourself too much, whereas the rest all seem to be inspirational sites aimed at low-self-esteemed people. Opinions seem to be very varied (rhymed!) when it comes to pride... In fact, even wikipedia covers both sides of the coin, stating

Pride is either a high sense of one's personal status or ego (i.e., leading to judgments of personality and character) or the specific mostly positive emotion that is a product of praise or independent self-reflection.

So, where do you stand on loving yourself? I'm just going to say, everyone should have a little pride. In fact, I think everyone does; some just have more than others. There is nothing wrong with having pride in oneself... except if you show that you have too much, you should be prepared for the judgement. And if you just have a little, don't worry :) you're beautiful and you should celebrate yourself, because if you don't, who will?

There are two kinds of egotists: Those who admit it, and the rest of us.
~Laurence J. Peter

On a completely unrelated note,

:) black leather chucks chyeahhhhh... now I'm broke

zombie apocalypse


:O I just had an epic as dream... it was kinda scary as well but it wasn't really a nightmare. Anyway it started with the family running away from our house thanks to the rise of a zombie apocalypse and the neighbourhood wasn't safe (I'm actually not sure about this part cuz I cant really remember it, but something like that happened). Anyway we crammed 7 people into a 5 seater car and drove out to this hotel thing, where we went in and rested for a while. Then some news came over from another person living at the hotel that the zombies had found it, but they weren't getting any faster, just better at eating people... So anyway after we heard that we got the heck out of there, but as we got into a hall some zombies came out of another room and we had to make a dash to the end of the hall and out through the balcony. I had a bit of trouble with my shoes so I had to jump over the balcony to escape the zombie that was right behind me... then I got that thing in dreams where you feel like you can't run, but I got on all 4s and scrambled my way to the car where I got in and my older brother (?) or some type of family friend (you know how these things are in dreams) got in after me. I noticed that my black chucks had transformed into green corduroy heels. Yes wtf. As we were driving away I saw my grandma got left behind and a zombie was nudging a diabolo towards her...

Anyway we drove away for a while til we got to this beach harbour type place. We noticed a woman trying to run away from the shore and into the water, and some friends were standing back. I had no idea what was going on at the time in the dream but now that I think about it she may have been trying to escape the zombies and decided that drowning herself was better than being eaten... sad ): Anyway there was quite a large carpark at the beach with a lot of cars, we so figured we'd found a safe place. At that time, a HUGE AIRSHIP THING FLIES OUT OF NOWHERE and people realise that if we get abducted by the spaceship then the zombies cant get us and sure enough it starts sucking cars up from the carpark...

We end up in this posh looking spaceship type hotel thing and theres a reception area. The lady was like "you guys were the volkswagon? no, no I mean the toyota." Our car had transformed from a 5 seater to apparently a highlander (which my mum actually does drive irl). Anyway we 'checked in' and didnt know what to do so my mum told me to take a shower. I walked into the shower room and it was DEATHLY QUIET... The room was the form of a long hall with a lot of entrances into the actual area with the showers. The hall was empty and dark... I thought something must be wrong so I went back and told my mum, she thought I was being paranoid so we went together and when we went into the actual shower area we saw a long as line of people all just standing in silence. It was creepy as. So we were like ff this, were gonna be here til like 2am. So we were exiting and I saw an unused shower in another area where nobody was. I thought it was strange but what the heck, we used it. The whole time I was afraid zombies were gonna jump out from under the toilets in the same area.

SOMEHOW that area transformed into a living room place where there were sofas, and I was just sitting there, and all of a sudden a hologram appears of the receptionist telling us that the reason we were here is that because they were planning to go to another planet called like... I forgot the name but it started with O and had
'ph' in it. We weren't going back to earth. When we got there, each family had to give up 1 person to stay there and build up the new planet (which turned out to be some kind of extension of Mars) while the rest of the family returned to earth. My mum was all like fmllll your grandpas too weak, your brother obviously can't do it, I don't want you to do it because youre also too young, and what if when you come back theres nothing on Earth? And I was like But I don't want you to go, and dad has to take care of the family as well, so I'll go... Although the truth is part of that reason was that I was shit scared of going back to earth with the zombies. But I was really conflicted because I didnt want to leave my family.

Anyway at that point we saw yunbin walk past with these 2 other guys he had apparently just met, one had really crazy hair and the other one seemed really quiet and sullen, and I was sitting there looking pretty depressed. My mum somehow transformed into YJ. Anyway yunbin comes over and is all like, why so sad? And I ask if hes heard the plans and hes like yeah, it sounds good, I cant wait. And I guess that made me think maybe it would be alright cuz I would have friends with me. Then he did some stupid tricks with the 1 way mirror that was there (which was also the holograph screen, I have no idea htf these things get invented in my head tbh)... I started to get paranoid again that maybe the people who owned the airship werent trustworthy (cuz wtf, an airship comes out of the sky and abducts you. there is no evidence that they are trustworthy), and that maybe the new planet was just full of zombies waiting for their meal package. At the same time I was just sitting there in that room, watching Yunbin dick around. Also for some reason a 4th former I know was there from EGGs, and she was studying for her physics exam, which turned out to be the same physics exam yujie and I had to sit soon (Even in the middle of a zombie apocaplypse yes) and she had some really cool acronyms to help her remember stuff but I cant remember any of them.

After that I walked around the airship with one of yunbin's new friends (the one without the crazy hair, who was quiet and sullen), and I asked him if he was going back to earth or going to Mars. He said he didnt know and said something about how he only attended boat club twice in his life (I have no idea) And after that I woke up...



DAY 30: Who are you?

So now we come to the end of the 30 day challenge! I can't believe I actually finished it haha. Although this was due yesterday, but I couldn't do it because I had an english exam to cram for, not that it really helped mind you. Anyway right now since I'm waiting for bejeweled blitz to load on my capped internet I figured I might as well start this and finish it sometime in the future...

Well Idk. Who am I? ...I just typed it into google and nothing interesting came up. But I did find some memes. A meme inside a meme to answer the first meme? :O SCANDALOUSSSS.

kk I'm bored. I really like memes it seems hahaahha


Full Name: Winnie Wu
Were you named after anyone? Winnie the Pooh lol no.
Do you wish on stars? ...nahhhhh I just make wishes whether there are stars or not. Maybe on a shooting star. or an airplane~~~
When did you last cry? Can't remember... ... ....... omg I can't. TT what's wrong with me
Do you like your handwriting? It's okay. I like it when it's neat and hate it when it's not haha
What is your favorite lunchmeat? mmm... salami. I don't have sandwiches much though
What is your birth date? 30 july 93
What is your most embarrassing CD? I'm not ashamed of any of my CDs =P
If you were another person, would YOU be friends with you? Yeah sure, I'm pretty awesome :)
Are you a daredevil? Nah not really. Well it depends on my mood. Sometimes I do the craziest stuff, normally when I'm bored.
Have you ever told a secret you swore not to tell? Yes probably, but probably only because I forgot I swore not to tell lol.
Do looks matter? Yes
How do you release anger? Yell at people. LOL jk. Idk, listen to music, play games.
Where is your second home? GZ with my grandparents :)
What was your favorite toy as a child? Safety blankie~ I couldn't fall alseep without haha. I still have one with me when I sleep...
What class in high school do you think was totally useless? Business Studies.
Do you have a journal? Right here hahaha. and I keep a diary for more private/screwed up thoughts
Do you use sarcasm a lot? Not sure, probably just as much as any other person lol.
Favorite movies? atm... inception :)
Would you bungee jump? Yes if my friends were there haha and it wasn't like random.
Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? No I'm lazy.
Do you think that you are strong? I'm buff asssss... not really. physically I am about as strong as a sponge. Emotionally I guess I am pretty strong? Not sure.
What’s your favorite ice cream flavor? Cookies and cream~~
Shoe Size? Ranges from 6 to 8 lol.
What are your favorite colors? White
What is your least favorite thing about yourself? I tend to gain weight around my stomach thighs and arms. I need to exercise more. i should work harder.
Who do you miss most? my friends who i haven't seen in a while... ):
What color pants are you wearing? Black
What are you listening to right now? Beethoven's midnight sonata. I love the 3rd movement~~
Last thing you ate? Dinner. Rice haha.
If you were a crayon, what color would you be? White, cuz its a cool colour. and it's invisible, and never gets used, so it lives forever :D
What is the weather like right now? Warming up, hopefully.
Last person you talked to on the phone: My mum.
The first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Face.
How Are You Today? TIRED... omg english TT
Favorite Drink? L&P I guess.
Favorite Sport? badminton~~
Hair Color? Black
Eye Color? Brown
Do you wear contacts? Nope
Favorite Food? ......can't choose TT
Last Movie You Watched? In cinemas, Despicable me. Not in cinemas, Surrogates
Favorite Day Of The Year? New years :)
Scary Movies Or Happy Endings? depends on the movie
Summer Or Winter? SUMMER!!!!
Hugs OR Kisses? depends who :)
What Is Your Favorite Dessert? ice cream. yes I'm very boring.
What Book(s) Are You Reading? atm nothing.
What’s On Your Mouse Pad? It's a brand one that my dad stole from somewhere. 'vignette' lol.
What Did You Watch Last night on TV? Don’t watch TV
Favorite Smells? Starbucks :)
Rolling Stones or Beatles? mmmm... beatles.
Do you believe in Evolution or Creationism? Evolution
What’s the furthest you’ve been from home? USA. I guess... massachusetts?



So my internet capped yesterday morning, which left me with nothing to do the entire day. It takes like 3-4 minutes + to load a page, which was not very useful for me as I was trying to study for my chemistry exam and I couldnt pull up the past papers. Anyway now for some reason the comment form won't appear on anyone's blogs so I can't comment. But just so you know I've read them all. :)

DAY 28: A picture of you last year and now, how have you changed since then?

Tony + me, nov/dec 2009?

hillie + me, extrav bbq, last weekend

this weekend :)

You see, I don't have to go back very far to show how much I have changed, since I got jaw surgery 2 and a half months ago XD hahahaha I don't think I look THAT different, I guess my nose is shorter now (I can't lick it anymore) and less flat.. but more fat XD. Idk if I like it, kinda makes me feel piggish sometimes.

I also...
- stopped wearing my silver frames, because chen said they were intimidating
- grew my hair out
- started wearing more makeup
- & painting my nails when I am bored
- got more clothes/better clothes
- got wayyy more shoes... lost my blue converses ): I miss them so much. wtf are they?!
- matured a lot, became more blunt and open
- STARTED PLAYING MOUSEHUNT. HAHA ♥ sheremy, chirip + terry for starting it all

Hm... I kind of want to leave all the emotional stuff for new years :)

DAY 29: In the past month, what have you learnt?

In the past month... I've learnt what a cherrypicker is (I learnt that today actually)...
holy crap I actually can't think of much. I mean I know you learn something new every day but it's probably really insignificant stuff that I don't care to remember. HAHA this is terrible. I should pay more attention to my surroundings XD
I learnt that Chen can't stand threesomes. And that he can't last more than 10 seconds. ;D



DAY 27: Why you are doing this 30 day challenge

Because I'm bored I suppose, and everyone else was doing it... so I got peer pressured XD I guess it's a good way for people to get to know me too. Not that anyone wants to...

Anyway tonight was Skyrise City for architecture week 2010 (check out their blog). It was soooo cool :) Some of the structures were really well made, I seriously thought a few of them were made by companies, but they were all 2nd year uni students... really amazing. I didn't take any photos, regret it now, but there were too many people =__=

Anyway I brought home some souvenirs :)


GLOWSTICKS!! Chyeah, there was a pro structure made out of bamboo painted black and fluro yellow glowsticks everywhere, and a guy was giving them away :) It was a pretty cool one.

Helium balloon filled with feathers!! Came from a huge as structure held up by heaps of these balloons (without the string) inside a plastic bag like material cover so it went quite high, and then they did a mechanism inside it that had like a button that you jump on and it launches a rocket with sandpapered tip (air pressure), so that when u launch it and it goes up and hits the helium balloons feathers would come down. It was soooo awesome :) they had to keep adding more balloons ofc otherwise the whole structure would collapse, and while he was blowing them up I asked for one~ I wish helium never ran out ): I'm gonna keep it as long as I can haha



DAY 24: A letter to your parents

Dear Mum & Dad,
Love you guys. You're amazing, thanks for all the support through the years, I'm SOOO lucky to have you.
Yeah that's the gist of it. Oh yeah and Happy Birthday Dad :)

DAY 25: What I would find in your bag

What I have in my schoolbag every day: folder, lunch, water bottle, pencil case, calculator, maths books, diary, random papers, laptop, wallet

What I have in my bag usually when I go out: bubbles, water bottle, wallet, lip balm

DAY 26: What you think about your friends

They are the most amazing people ever :) Seriously I love you all so much, especially those who stick with me through good times and bad, understand me and accept me unconditionally for who I am even if I do some pretty stupid stuff sometimes :P ♥

Yeah all really short. Idk I'm just not in the mood to type a lot today I suppose. In the midst of exams sigh... not in the mood for large blocks of text right now aye. Just want a break from it all... (not that I've been studying very hard...)



DAY 23: Something you crave for a lot

Except in italian roast tomato and balsamic.



DAY 22: What makes you different from everyone else

Um. Well. My DNA? Haha idk, I always have these moments where I think I'm just living in my own world and everyone else are just projections. Since I'm the only one I can control, I will never know. Everyone else could be like npcs in a game. That seems quite unlikely though I suppose, I'm not -that- special :P

Having said that, I guess I'm pretty weird in my own right. Actually pretty much everyone is weird in their own way so that doesn't say much. I think we're all weird, in different ways, so it's like a cloud of gnats flying in random directions, but the overall force is 0N because they all cancel each other out, so as a population we are 'normal' even though the individual is abnormal.

Looking at things statistically, I'm han chinese, which means I'm part of the largest ethnic group on earth, which doesn't make me very special at all. I have an IQ of about 137, which puts me at the top 1.5% of the population, which means about 1 in every 96 people, which, considering the sheer population of han chinese is pretty damn common. There are about 150 000 han chinese in Auckland, so that makes me 1 of 150 000/96 = 1 563. I would use the Auckland figures but I have just spent about 20 mins trying to find the population of chinese people in Auckland without avail. Anyway Auckland is like asian central so it shouldn't have too big of an effect of the number. Split that number in half since I'm female and you get 1 in 783. The average height of chinese females is 160cm. I am 170cm. I can't find any numbers for the standard deviation of this data set but I'm going to divide by 10 because I know very few chinese females my height and above, and I think /10 is already being quite generous. So that makes 1 in 78. About 40% of chinese people have myopia of -1.00 to -5.00 between the ages of 6 and 20. I fit in this category. This is probably quite a warped statistic to use but heck all statistics are warped and this is just a very general estimate so that makes me 1 in 0.4*78=31. About 30% of everyone has astigmatism, so that makes me 1 in 0.3*31=9. About 80% of people are right handed, so that makes me 1 in 0.8*9=7. I was born on a Friday and there are 7 days in a week. That makes me 1 in 1. :)

Man you can tell I just got tired of googling at the end there :P

IGNORING all the bad stat combinations, think about it, in the end, I'm probably the only 170cm tall chinese female with an iq of 137 living in NZ with myopia and astigmatism who is right handed and was born on a Friday, and if that fails, I'd BET the other people's names weren't Winnie :P It's very easy to prove that you are unique; we are all so different.



DAY 20: Someone you see yourself marrying/being with in the future.

K bro I'm not even in a relationship right now haha, so if I'm gonna marry someone I'd either not know them yet or it would be someone I currently know it would be awkward to say since we're not in a relationship HAHA. Hm... let's be srs. I see myself with a hot nice rich guy. That's all we ever want =P

DAY 21: A picture of something that makes you happy

♥ Hillie :) hahaha all you need is a little love~~ & nice weather



DAY 18: Nicknames you have and why you have them

Ohhhhhh this is going to take a while. HAHA. Kk, in chronological order?

Woony and its many descendants -- Woonae, Woonie, Woonaekun, Spoonaekun

Started in year 8 when some friends were obsessed with harry potter fanfiction, and we really liked marauders ff (and even wrote some ourselves LOL, I think they're still on somewhere..), and we renamed ourselves after them by mixing our names. I was Lupin. So... Moony + Winnie = Woony. And everything that comes after that is just stuff that sounds like 'Woony' (apparently). Incidentally it also sounds like my last name tacked onto my first name, which is pretty cool, because I can't do the whole first letter swap thing like Chirip Fung (Firip Chung) & Sheremy Jane (Jeremy Shane) :(


OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE I FORGOT THIS ONE ): Made up by Kim, stands for Lovable Undergrown Bear + a bunch of other adjectives that I don't keep track of but she does. Because I am lovable, and I am a bear, and if I were a bear I would be undergrown in size because bears are big, so even if I am a tall asian girl I am still a small bear :) I am a bear because I'm lazy and slothlike, I hibernate in winter (I sleep more) and my name is Winnie as in Winnie the Pooh :)

Weenie, Weezor, Weebles, Wibbles, Wibobbles, Winaynay, Winwin, Window

All just because they sound like 'Winnie' in some form or another. Yes as you can tell my friends like to do weird things with people's names.


It stands for Slut In Disguise. A name given to me by Rui and Tian in their wildly fictional story involving me stealing people's brains by sleeping with them. I haven't a clue either.

2290, Harvard Bitch, Harvard

2290 was my SAT score, and HB came from someone spreading rumours about me getting into Harvard which is NOT TRUE LOL... I haven't even finished year 12 wtf?! I have a feeling it's probably misunderstanding or just plain trolling over an application form I got sent from Harvard, but I'm not the only one, Chencake got one too. :P Harvard's just a shortened version of HB. I very much dislike this nickname.

If I've forgotten something feel free to comment lol...



DAY 18: Plans/goals/dreams you have

Haha, funny this should come a few days after I blogged about passion. Idk, a lot of people think I'm pretty ambitious, but actually I don't really know what I want. I guess I just want to have a happy life and stay lucky. I don't have much motivation to do other things. I guess I want to go to university and get at least a PhD, mainly because I don't want to go out into the chaotic world and get a job. I kind of have this ambition to go to some pro uni to do it, but if I think about it I wouldn't mind living a quiet life either, and then I think maybe I would prefer it.

I also have a long term and somewhat stupid dream that I can live forever, but since that seems unlikely due to, you know, physics, I'll haunt the world after I die. I actually do believe in ghosts lol, cuz I don't want to face the thought that after death we become nothing. It's nice to think that there are spirits around and there's something that happens after life.

Yeah I'm pretty... unmotivated? I don't know, I think that if you focus too much on the future you miss out on what's there in the present as well. That's why I don't really like to plan ahead and prefer a bit of spontaneity. Carpe Diem :) Do a little at a time, and see where life takes me. Since I have no passion for anything, I guess I'll be surprised where ever I end up.

Forever is composed of nows. ~Emily Dickinson

Oh wait, a goal I would like to have is that one day I will be uber rich. Yeah that would be nice. -wishful thinking-



DAY 17: Someone you would switch lives with for a day and why

Steve Jobs, cuz he's rich and I could deposit a large chunk of his money into my own bank account. I know the most obvious choice is Bill Gates, but he actually donates his money to charities etc so it's going to a good cause other than myself, whereas as far as the public knows Jobs doesn't (well ofc he could be doing it anonymously, which is actually more admirable, but the point is I don't know)... Also since he's head of apple I could nab an itouch or something haha.

d16 narcissism + passion


DAY 16: Another picture of yourself

(Yeah I'm just a selfish narcissistic psycho freak... -song stuck in head-)

[Image Removed]

What is passion? I guess it's a kind of motivation, something we really believe in, our values, something that drives us. But very few of us are actually naturally driven by something like that. Passion is something intangible, and it seems to come and go (for me at least). It's abstract, like love, so it's hard to hold onto. Yet we seem to have this idea as a society that passion is something good and that it is something that each of us should have. But the truth is that it's not really that simple. Just as we can't force ourselves to love someone we don't, and can't force ourselves to fall out of love with someone we do, we can't force ourselves to care about things we don't, especially to become 'passionate' (strong adjective) about something we just don't.

I don't really know why I decided to talk about it. I guess it just kinda came out as I was typing, but I haven't really been thinking about it lately. In the last few years I've experienced a fickle kind of passion, the kind that comes and goes. I don't know, sometimes I just lose all motivation to do anything, but later I look back and think, why didn't I care more? Sometimes I get really fired up. But later I look back and think, was it really worth it? Why did I care so much? And of course, there is no answer. It's something really intrinsic; no one else can judge us or tell us what we should be passionate about, it's just something that seems to happen.

Can passion be conditioned though? I mean I think it's possible that by doing something more, you eventually like it more and more (exposure effect/familiarity principle), but can it reach that level of passion if you didn't have some love for it initially? As someone with a lot of interests but no real passion, it's weird to think about. Especially at this age, when people expect you to have decided what you're going to do with the rest of your life. You can do anything you want to do. What are you passionate about? My answer is: pretty much nothing. But what am I interested in? Pretty much everything... So I was wondering, if I did a lot of something, would it make me more passionate about it? Or, would I just get sick of it?

For some people, passion is something they will have all their life. The doctors who love to save lives, the volunteer who does community work to see the happy faces of all those he or she has saved, the musician who lives in a flat worth less than the collection of guitars hanging on his or her living room wall. I think those people are really lucky, to have found something they love and care about so much. No matter how hard life gets nothing can take that love away from them. They will never really feel alone, because they are motivated.

For most of us though, passion is like a (passionate) one night stand (see what I did there? :D). You're on a high for a night, but after that you're back to your regular normal life. Passion comes and goes, sometimes we get really motivated about something, sometimes we just don't give a damn. When we don't give a damn, nothing seems to matter in the world. We feel alone, depressed, meaningless. Perhaps it is not crimes of passion that we should be worried about, but what happens when there is no passion at all.

“If there is no passion in your life, then have you really lived? Find your passion, whatever it may be. Become it, and let it become you and you will find great things happen FOR you, TO you and BECAUSE of you.” ~T. Alan Armstrong

day 14/15


Since I got home too late yesterday, and pretty much forgot about it all of today, and don't want to do a triple entry tomorrow @_@

DAY 14: Picture of family

My parents + lil bro who is actually taller than me now, in chicago haha.

DAY 15: Shuffle, first 10 songs that play

The best day of my life - Jesse McCartney
Lace and Leather - Britney Spears
A Party Song (The walk of shame) - All time low
Just Because - Christopher Toy (LOL! "Just because I'm not a white guy, doesn't mean I'm not the right guy ... just cuz I keep the plastic on my couch and on my phooonneeee...)
Breathe - Taylor Swift
No More Sorrow - Linkin Park
Womanizer (Cover) - David Choi, originally Britney Spears
Goodbye My Princess - Monday Kiz
When I'm Gone - Simple Plan
Hate that I love you - Neyo ft. Rihanna

day 13


DAY 13: A letter to someone who has hurt you recently

No one has really hurt me recently. I guess I can... ehh I'll try.

Dear person who has kind of hurt me recently but not really because there is no malicious intent and it's actually my own fault that you hurt me recently, even though I don't really count this as 'hurting' me,

You're confusing as hell, even though you're blunt. I should stop liking you, but it's hard cuz, strange as it sounds, I actually like it when you do my head in.

Not yours ever,

day 12


DAY 12: How you found blogspot and why you made one

I probably found blogspot during like year 7 or 8 when I was trying to find a good blogging site, I seem to have joined up to all the ones I could find (seriously I have LJ, xanga, blogger & god knows what else). that's why this is under and not, cuz that's the one I actually made back then but never used and then forgot the pw too (I've actually reclaimed it now, but it just redirects here). I used LJ as primary because it had communities and more versatile design options, but then blogspot introduced HTML templates and at the end of year 9 Bernie made one, so I figured might as well shift here permanently haha.

Today I went to watch despicable me... awwwww it was sooo cute :D and funnier than I thought it would be haha.

^whole cinema cracked up at that haha :)

& I want to watch the latest episode of NZNTM online but I can't for some reason cuz it's not loading, cuz I forgot that it was on tonight =__= k i'm noob w/e... I'm seriously scared that I'm going to fail my exams. They're so soon and I did an SAT practice yesterday and EPICALLY FAILED... omg I think jaw surgery made me dumb or something. Excuses excuses... ugh gotta work harder.