01 January 2014

2014 it's lovely to make your acquaintance...

... but did you really have to come down in a fit of rain?



Wow what do I even say? 2013 felt so new and then it was old again. A lot happened and I learned a whole heap of stuff? Uh...

In the ways of recent things, I've been home for a week and quite a few people have said that my accent has become Americanized. HOWEVER -- yesterday I was in Sylvia Park and the cashier lady at Life Pharmacy asked if I'd like to sign up for their membership, and when I said I don't live in the country she was confused because I had an NZ accent :P so there.

So since I came back, I went shopping a few times, baked a few cakes, watched some movies (The wolf on wall street, rush, the bling ring, the winnie the pooh movie, frozen -- can I just gush about how great Frozen was? I went in with pretty high expectations since everyone I know who's seen it had such great things to say about it, and I still left with those magical disney feels.), and hung out with people I haven't seen in a while.

Oki now I suppose I'll reflect on last year's resolutions:

1) The Usual Academic Resolution 
Lol my GPA dropped from last year to this year. It's okay. I think this semester I got stressed out at times because of the workload, and I was made to think that I was a workaholic. I'm still somewhat dubious about the extent to which this is true, but there's no denying that my grades are important to me; I like to know I'm doing well and they're an indication of whether I'm on the right track in grasping ideas. Learning is important to me.

2) The Usual Exercise-Related Resolution 
Oh god. I had a pretty good streak going through the summer when I ran every day for 15 minutes, but after college started again that kind of died. Tried to do an assisted pullup this semester with ~100lb assist and still died. Why so weak? Idk... I also went to a hapkido session (a -- yes singular). I learned how to do some basic grabs and how to fall, and my body was surprisingly sore the next day. Badminton seems to be full of graduate students so I don't go very often at all :/ Now I'm a blob again. Alexpong let's exercise properly next semester for real though.

3) The Usual Social Resolution -- New and Old Friends 
I met so many new people this year! Probably because of a new year at college, and also traveling in the summer. Different people are so intriguing, and I also really enjoyed getting to know people I didn't really spend that much time with before even though we both knew of each other's existence, like George over the summer! It's of course harder to do that in NZ since I'm not here most of the time, but I'm trying to catch up with people when I come back and keep positive relationships :)

4) Create a more comfortable self. Don't slip back into fickleness. 
Looking back, I'm somewhat convinced that I had some kind of social anxiety issue when I was younger. I'm still sometimes like this but I'm definitely more open and confident about certain events. Eg. before, every time before I had to meet anyone new or talk to shopkeepers even, I'd get a little bit panicky (my heartrate would rise) and I'd have to run through what I was going to say in my head before I said it. Actually in class whenever I had to speak my ears used to get really red because I didn't like public speaking that much. College has helped somehow, I'm not entirely sure how it happened -- I do have a theory that because it forces you to reflect on yourself and make your own decisions often, I am less able to be simply an observer on the wall and actually have to proactively do things day to day, so I'm less involved in other's lives and more in my own (this has had an odd side effect in that I'm not as good as remembering people as I used to be, and I also stalk people's lives less since I don't have the time).

5) Be more patient with others, less self-absorbed, think of others' needs. 
I'm trying very hard to be more selfless, especially in my relationship and with my friends. I think I do have a tendency to be impatient at times (more so when I am disgruntled to begin with), but I'm trying to control it better. I think outwardly facing most people I don't know very well can't really tell, but I'm still trying to get rid of the inner conflict of putting myself before others and thinking of my own interests first. I do sometimes worry about being taken advantage of, but I believe (logically at least) that the overall thing I'm trying to achieve will have more positive net impact than negative.

6) Gain experience in the field. Try get an internship, see if CS is the right path for you 
I declared CS! :) I'm officially a CS major eee how exciting. With a minor in Studio Arts :) Anyway, 2 summers at Facebook should be enough to see if I like the software engineering path. I did have some reservations after agreeing to come back for the summer, and everything else suddenly looked so much more appealing (psychology of seeing things you can't have anymore I suppose). I've decided that next year I will try to get something in the film industry or do some research. Gotta get out of the SE bubble and try something new. I am leaning toward grad school after college currently but still mostly unsure about what I want to do with the rest of my life.

7) Read more 
Books I read for pleasure this year:
Lolita, Vladimir Nobakov
Inferno, Dan Brown
Outliers, Malcolm Gladwell
Never Let Me Go, Kazuo Ishiguro
Lean In, Sheryl Sandberg
Golden Bones, Sichan Siv
Orange is the New Black, Piper Kerman

Eep that's around 1 per 2 months. I could do better.

8) As always, Have more reasons to smile than frown.
Haha of course. I still think I'm the luckiest person in the world. :)

Some resolutions for 2014?
1) Be a hard worker and don't get lazy
2) Learn more about the world eg. take a few history classes!
3) This belly flab has got to go }:(
4) Learn how to web one way or another
5) Take more time to do art
6) Watch your spending and exercise self control. A few good things is better than a lot of crap...
7) Commit to bettering the communities you're a part of. Don't take on too much so you can focus on concentrated impact.
8) :) > :( have a great year!

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