a letter to nobody

Through grey-tinted windows I survey the landscape beyond my touch
Rushing by so quickly, yet the road continues for miles;
Each moment so temporary, yet feeling the same as the one before.

The brown-black Othello board of cows and horses shivers beneath adipose clouds
Shrouding the flatlands, making them seem more barren than they already were...

I am the tumbleweed moving through a landscape of nothingness.
Without purpose, without direction -- taken where ever the wind blows.

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I will miss you, you know. I think a lot of us are so caught up in our own lives sometimes, and we look around and we see that everyone is struggling along the same path, keeping to themselves. We yearn companionship actually, with those around us, but we think they do not feel the same way.

At least, I hope it is like that. Because I am one of these people, and sometimes I feel so alone. These blank shadows around me, who really cares about me? Who really understands me? An unspoken kind of understanding, which needs no affirmations. A silent friendship that roots itself halfway across the earth and still draws water continents away.

In your case, I wish to let you know how much you actually do mean to me. We have known each other a long time, and life will be very different without you. I can placate myself by reminding myself that I will not be gone for long, but I am still leaving behind this life and trying to start something different. Life is changing. I want you to stay in it.

This section is not about what you think it is about.

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Seven black umbrellas, bobbing up and down as their owners stride past.
Beads of rain roll along their woven yet impenetrable surfaces, drip-drip-dripping onto the sidewalk below
Swallowed by the sewer rats retreating into their homes

Will my tears end up as lacquered raindrops on this umbrella of distance, unable to reach you?

If it were you condensing in this cold weather, I would be the first to lower my umbrella and become cleansed. I would raise my coloured parasol when you return, offer it to you, walk along the flat and seemingly endless road of time with you and keep the sun off your smile.