Picking up from where I left off last time, year 10 was one of the years that really changed me. At the beginning of the year, I hacked off all my hair. I don't really know why it happened, but I just decided to cut my hair short suddenly, the day before school started. I was still pretty withdrawn, but starting to take more responsibilities and be more socially conscious. It was a slow growth mainly haha, but I think I grew up a lot in the second half of 2008. This can be largely attributed to Kahunui. I came out of my shell a lot. I guess I never really realised how isolated and quiet I was til people pointed it out. I tried to open up more to people around me, not only close friends but classmates as well. I learnt that it didn't matter if we weren't familiar, because all friends are strangers at first as well. Spending a month with these people brought out frustration, boredom and helplessness as well as confidence, self-realisations and fierce independence. And it is the latter qualities that are permanent; hardships are temporary, but experience is forever. The last time I cried, truly cried, was on the last day of Kahunui. I don't really know what caused it -- it was as I was hugging the instructors, and I realised that I will probably never see these people ever again, yet they have impacted on my person so much and changed my perspective on the world so dramatically -- Kahunui is naturally an experience that I never want to forget.
^4 leaf clover found at a firedrill
Year 11 turned out to be one of the most enjoyable years so far. At the beginning of the year, I was seriously considering transferring to AIC. I even went to sit their entrance exam and had an interview. I got a scholarship, but ultimately decided not to go. Maybe it was intuition, and I'll never know what would have happened, but I can't imagine not staying at STCC for the rest of high school. The environment at AIC seems so stark, so cold compared to at STCC. I'm so glad I made the choice to stay. I had a mini crisis school-wise in the choice between IB and NCEA and subject choices later on in the year. I had to do a lot of soul searching and decide what I really wanted... it was the first time I had to make a tough decision like that and make it definitively. For anyone who knows me well, you know that I suck at decision making, so you can imagine how agonisingly painful this period of my life was for me hahahaahah. But, it all worked out. And i have to say, choosing to drop biology was one of the best choices I have ever made. I think I grew and matured so much in Year 11 that I regard everything prior to the summer between 2009 and 2010 to be 'the last stage in my life'. I feel like I have been reinvented through change that year; I don't know whether it's a good or bad thing, but that's just how I see it.
Year 12 was not really memorable for me school-wise. I just feel like the entire year was spent in the Art Department, and it was here that Art became such a huge part of my life. The Art Department at st. cuths is absolutely amazing -- as MKD said, St. Cuth's students come out with an amazing work ethic and skills at 2nd or 3rd year university level. We don't notice it, which is a credit to the way the department is run and the atmosphere within the school. I never considered that art could become such a big part of my life before -- it was already something I enjoyed, but it didn't truly become a passion til then, and I never actually noticed this transition until just now as I was typing this (This is why I blog!)... I also grew closer to staff members this year, having gotten over my semi fear (?) of older and more qualified people haha.
Without STCC, I would never have been given the amazing opportunity of experiencing Europe. It opened my eyes to another lifestyle in another country, and it was really amazing how different it is. Therefore it is worldly education, both literally and figuratively, that STCC has given me, and it has truly been up to us to choose which opportunities to take because there are simply too many to do them all. Even though I look around at my fellow graduating class and feel jealousy for some of the things they have done, I remember that we are all simply trying to grasp and hold everything the school hands out to us. It's impossible to hold it all, especially for someone with hands as small as mine :P
...to be continued...
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