Fine lines


Okay so today I'm going to talk about 2 lines in our society that I think we should be all aware of... Actually I've been meaning to write something like this for a long time but I never had the willpower to get off my ass and actually write it. So here goes XD

1. The difference between being honest and being an asshole.

When asked "Does this dress make me look fat?",
The nice friend says, "No, you always look pretty"
The honest friend says, "I don't think the colour suits you, you should try the same style in ___"
The asshole friend says, "Yeah you look like a fatass."

I think a lot of people have this idea that being blunt and honest = being an asshole. I've known some people who try to always be nice and then end up digging themselves holes because that's not what they really think (and we all know how hard it is to keep spinning a lie...), resulting in awkward moments... but it's okay to be honest, as long as you're being constructive. Obviously it's not good to be TOO blunt ie. being an asshole, but I think that being honest is very important.

I've found that girls especially try to go around doing things a lot because they want to be polite or something. Anyway I've heard from guys that it drives them crazy because they're never sure what girls want. Playing hard to get might be a warped form of this honesty thing too.... I never understood why girls want to wait for the guy to do everything without showing any signs of interest themselves... how would he know?! The squeaky door gets the oil :] And no, it doesn't make you easy or anything :l it's just common sense... when we want something we go get it right? What makes this any different...?

Also when it comes to problems, if you just act unhappy and don't let other people know exactly why, just sulk around, it's not going to solve your problem any faster. Waiting for other people to apologize is hardly constructive. Even if it was the other person who wronged you, I think there's a degree of courage and admirableness about being able to be the bigger person and trying to somehow rectify the situation. Sitting around pretending you're okay when you're obviously not is not practical!

When someone comes to you with a problem and ask for your honest opinion, you should give it to them. Don't try to sugarcoat it too much, but don't be harshly blunt either. It's a delicate balance, hence why I named this entry "fine lines"... Speaking from first hand experience as the person with the problem, I get pretty annoyed when the other person is obviously not telling the truth (and it's more obvious than you think) and trying to make everything happy happy. Let's be realistic, not everything ends up happily ever after in our lives. Bad things happen, and when they do we want a realistic piece of advice. Having said that, "lol you're fucked" is not exactly helpful either.

2. The difference between intelligence and knowledge

"You're so smart! You know everything!"
The above statement does not make logical sense to me. In my opinion, just because someone is smart doesn't mean they are necessarily knowledgeable, and just because someone is knowledgeable does not necessarily mean they are smart. Being knowledgeable just means you know a lot of things. Maybe that's what being wise is as well, having had lots of experiences and having knowledge about a lot of things. Being intelligent, I think, is something we are born with. The common sense and ability to absorb information... the actual ability and potential to learn is intelligence. The actual material learnt is knowledge. I'm not sure if that make sense, but that's what I think anyway.

Today, someone asked me, "Do you think that people who can't read, are totally illiterate, have bad grammar and ugly handwriting, unable to read music, don't have a proper education and don't know anything are failures at life?" I said no, and asked what if they'd just never had the opportunity to learn any of those things. She said that she thought they were still failures, because they were totally stupid and useless. I thought that was a bit harsh, and I still stand firmly by my point. The fact that they don't have any KNOWLEDGE does not = they are stupid. For all we know, they have the potential to become the next Bill Gates. Who, by the way, dropped out from college (well one can argue that that's a substantial degree of education, but I know some people who think people who haven't got a university degree from a top university are failures at life. narrowmindedness? I think so). I know a lot of elitists like that actually... people who think that unless you are THE BEST, you are a failure. I disagree. Life is full of experiences, and one person's idea of failure is never going to be universal, unless some kind of brainwashing and breach of human rights occurs. :]

Anyway back on topic, just because you have a lot of knowledge doesn't mean you are smart. Just like just because you are an expert on coffee mugs and know everything there is to know about them and collect them doesn't make you awesome, it just means you have too much spare time and not enough friends (lol jk, I love coffee mugs). And just because you are smart doesn't mean you are knowledgeable. Just like if you're Stephen Hawking and you don't know how to walk (lol jk okay sorry that was harsh, I love Stephen Hawking too). In the end though, if you are neither smart nor knowledgeable, then you sure as hell better have a good personality or are mega hot because I seriously can't think of any other way you can survive :l

3. The difference between having a third point and not

I originally had a third point to talk about but in my fervor in typing the above 2 I have actually completely forgotten what it was going to be. But I wanted to write 3 points because it's a nice round number. So, sorry guys. I think it's getting a bit long anyway hahaha.

Why I Blog


In response to Zelin's latest post about why people have blogs, I decided to make an entry about why I personally chose to start blogging and why I have continued ever since.

I have actually had a blog far before using blogspot. I had a livejournal since about mid-2006 I think, when I was going through my prince of tennis obsession phase. Actually I'm sure that I started my livejournal while I was on a holiday in Melbourne because I was bored at the motel. I met a girl from my school while I was using livejournal (small world huh.), as well as other people from around Auckland who I have kept in touch with ever since. To be honest I didn't really post much on my livejournal, just rants and random fangirling and quizzes and memes. However even back then my blog was called Tori no Tsubasa. Livejournal was more than a blogging site though: it was a treasure trove of resources where manga and asian magazine scanners and translators congregated together. That was the reason I stayed on livejournal for a long time instead of moving to xanga or any of the other alternatives.

My blogspot had humble beginnings; at the end of november 2007, my friend Bernie had a blog and was always venting her negative feelings. Which is fair enough, but I decided to make a blog and post happy things to counter them so I could make her smile when she was sad. My first entry turned out to be more or less of an event recount (you can still go back to see it if you want haha, I never delete entries for a reason I will discuss later).

After I made that post, a few of my other friends started blogging on blogspot, so that kept me here. The reason I didn't update my lj so much before was that there wasn't really anyone reading my posts. I guess that's a factor of blogging too; although I say I blog mainly for my own reference and sometimes to vent, the fact that I'm actually venting to someone is motivation hahahaha. I like how I'm complaining to noone in particular but people will still read my frustrations. It's like when you yell at a wall, it feels better if there are people on the other side who can hear you rather than just yelling at a wall, like that philosophical thing with the "if a tree falls in a forest and noone is around to hear it, does it make a noise?" Maybe I feel like my words might as well not be there unless someone reads them, regardless of who that person is.

Never looked back since those first few posts hahaha. Well, figuratively. still go back to look at them when I'm bored and it's really interesting how even my tone of typing has changed. Soooo childish back then hahaha. some of it makes me cringe, but I'll never delete it. I think my blog is like a log of my maturing over time and the changes I go through. My blog, for me, isn't just something for other people to read, it's something for me to come back to in the future and read over. It's like creating history. I think history is very important, and that's why I will never delete any of my blog entries (just like I never delete any emails from my inbox, except facebook spam). Oh yeah, and I like how my archives go down on the side from november 2007 to present. :] it's so nice and uniform and I like how I've never missed a month hahaha. a COMPLETE history of my adolescence, highs like mountains, lows like gorges and flats like airport runways all attached. =P

Another reason I blog is to let out all my thoughts and reorganise them. If you're a follower of my blog you should be familiar with my random long winded and extremely mind-twisting philosophical writings (I have to say I sound extremely eloquent and sophisticated when I'm in one of those moods lol). When I get into one of those moods it makes me depressed because thoughts go around in circles in my head without head or tails and so I have to blog to spew it all out and untangle everything. Oh and after that I have a very clear thought process out physically so I can actually follow my thoughts and I can actually learn a lot from what I have written :] Sure, not everything can be expressed in language, but I try my best. I've been told that people actually enjoy reading my philosophical wafflings as well haha, so win/win?

A blog is a tool of spreading information. When I see something really cool, I share it on my blog (and potentially facebook). I think it's a great way to expose my friends to my interests :] because sharing is caring~

In a way, I guess my blog is a lot like the window into my thoughts. I think someone can learn a lot about what kind of person I am just from reading my blog posts. I know people who have actually taken the time to go through every single entry hahahaha and WOW I am impressed. So much useless waffle in between things of any value XD Tbh I don't think there's anything wrong with putting useless things in one's blog either, since they are just one's random thoughts. And it's that person's personal blog!!! I think sometimes the personality of a blog can be ruined if the blogger starts publishing things just to please the audience. Just like a musician or movie director, the best works are often the debuts, when they have an idea fresh in their minds that they want to portray and aren't too fussed about what the public is going to think. But after they become popular, they have intense pressure to stay at the top, so the individuality is lost; they start producing what is 'safe', what everyone is sure to like. But I think that level of like is lower than the love for original thought, if done right. That's why I don't bother trying to please anyone with my blog, since it is, after all, just a record of my being, not anyone else's. Don't like, don't read. :] I know I can't please everyone, but just having some people actually enjoying reading my thoughts is enough for me to be thankful that I'm not insane after all =P

So there you go, a breakdown of why I continue to blog 2 and a half years after I started... and I have every intention to keep going :] no plans to kill off this wingless bird yet ^^

So, it's been a while...


Sup homies. Well it's been a long time since my last real update, I guess because I haven't had much spare time where I can just write and write haha.

Today I went down to the university of waikato for the OsPEn lectures :] they were really interesting! Although I was like half lost through the first one because it was about thermodynamics and I was still zzzz from 6am wake up and 2 hour drive. The last guy talked about how stuff breaks :D liquid nitrogen and smashing plates with hammers. fun stuff! as we were leaving we saw opotiki college couldn't start their van up and were pushing it around the carpark trying to get it to start. I wisely observed that it probably failed due to either extreme change in temperature or fatigue from its metallic components (learnt that today from the lecture! :O) What else did I learn? Oh yeah we're all fucked for the future due to exponential rise in energy consumption ): we got taken around the labs and in the electronics lab they'd built robots that can defend a tabletop from terrorists :D so cool!! too bad we couldn't see it in action because the guy didn't reprogram it for that specific room's lighting so its sensors were all screwed and it went to attack the audience hahaha. today was wayy funner than school =P

exams are over! I feel like I'm on holiday now which is probably bad... results weren't as bad as I expected, just 1 M :] well technically 2 but I'm going to retake my french oral haha. hopefully get E 2nd time... ughh that's what I get for winging it sigh.

Also at careers evening I realised that I have no idea what I want to do sigh. They don't really help =__= the thing is that we can do ANYTHING we want... too much choice breeds confusion and DDDD:ness... although I did get a cool pen from business. :D

oh god 4 hours later, I'm bad at blogging... went on a different tab and got distracted... I am now in my parents' room watching glee. first time watching tv in ages :O but it's so nice and warm in here~~ ...kk glee is over. wow I actually have nothing to say. I'm going to write a poem.

my winter coat is steaming

and her arms wrap around me
but lovingly
like a spider, knits her web
trapping me delicately
in something invisible

is this what love feels like?

her tears run over me
branding my skin
melting my form
hugging my limbs
cleansing my heart

caught in the simple embrace
of a hot shower

♥ hot showers in winter :]



I love it :] The back is like kinda open but with straps going across it? Idk haha I couldn't angle the camera to take a good picture XD but I guess you'll all see eventually.



Olivia says hi.

God I'm bored. ...I should probably be studying but I really, really can't be bothered, especially considering the psycho people still haven't gone into their exam and I still have 2 hours after they go. lalalalalalallalalallalalalalaa. I made some notes yesterday on nuclear and waves anyway :] so only really have to skim over those + learn 35 pages of mechanics. Mechanics is worth a lot of credits I think, so better not stuff that up.

Liv's laptop is terribly beaten up and I feel a bit sorry for it. D: Poor laptop. She said the laptop is a piece of crap and it deserves it. CRUELTY AGAINST TECHNOLOGY! "It breaks itself" .... .... .... yes....

I have nothing to say. I am going to talk about the statue of the queen with the birds in the atrium. Apparently it is a queen. I didn't know that before. She is very grey and very still. I think she is made of metal. the iron woman. She has a roman nose. And intense cleavage. Actually Liv is explaining all this to me because I can't actually see it as a post is in the way. Mrs Rodgers just walked into the room. She is not smiling as usual. She smiles as she passes a colleague. Eden is crying and talking about rewarding rats. I am still bored. There are no chips left.

there is a cat looking through a fishbowl on the cover of our light and waves notes. incidentally one of my friends got a cat and a bird for her 13th birthday. a few months later the cat ate the bird and then ran away. ): it was cute though. both of them were cute. >_>

Last night I had a strange dream which I can't remember. I recall there being a red rock with little white bits inside it which people were calling penicillin. That's all I remember though. And when I woke up this morning from my alarm I thought it was Sunday because I had yesterday off, and I was pissed off because I got woken up early on a weekend. Alas such luck does not exist. Exams rage on and this weekend is going to be full of activity =__=

I need to watch Star Trek

Oh and I still haven't found a ball dress. ): and everyones going to look but I can't be bothered. Why is it so hard for me to find one that I like D: Maybe I really will end up wearing the white one that I already have... it's kinda plain though :/ mlehhhhh...

I went to the orthondontist yesterday and they closed the gap between my primary incisors on the bottom with this piece of string/rubber (idk) and the lady pulled super tight and now my teeth hurt TT; but ironically now there's going to be 2 gaps in other places because she pulled too tight. Urghhhh... surgery in August :] I ran into Katy while I was waiting for the orthodontist yesterday and she told me about her jaw surgery experience. I'm going to get to stay in hospital for 2 nights, vomit blood and get a puffy swollen face and bruising for 1-2 weeks. Yayyyy I'm looking forward to it. ): scared.

Have a nice day everyone :]

Between Exams


So yes, I'm between exams at the moment. It's 1.10pm and my printmaking exam will begin in 50 minutes. I still haven't printed the stuff I was meant to because the stupid macs at school refuse to connect to the school printer... hmmmmmmm. GL to everyone sitting their maths exam right now I suppose ^^ seeing everyone stressing out on the table at lunchtime made me nostalgic about stresses long past... (not really, maybe just a few hours ago). Well the calc exam turned out exceedingly easy, since they put in the E questions in from last year that I'd done as part of my study (and I'd imagine a lot of others had done too) so nobody's complaining about that :P Calc schol on the other hand.... ehhh, never expected to do very well, ended up answering about 1/2 the questions and probably wrongly D:

I suppose I could just get off this computer and use one of the windows computers to try to connect to the printer but I can't be bothered... multimedia room is empty and tranquil. I hate this keyboard though. It's hard to type on and I can already feel the strain in my wrists ):

Itt's quite misty outside. It's just rained... quite a bit of rain actually, but the sky is still grey. I guess it's going to keep raining. At least it doesn't make me feel too bad about going into exams hahaha. Hate it when the weather's awesome and I have to sit an exam...

ONLY PHYSICS TO STRESS OUT ABOUT NOW :] and I can study that all morning tomorrow! these exams have certainly been short lived. I can tell that I'm not going to get very good grades though hahahaha. ewww unfamiliar texts.

I noticed that people have stopped commenting ): WHY? It makes me feel lonely. So if you read my blogs please comment. :] it keeps me writing things for your entertainment. Unless of course you hate my blogs and would just like me to please stop updating. XD but that'll never happen completely either hahahaha. I've been terribly consistent with this blog, haven't missed a month since I started it in november 2007. How's that possible? I have no idea either. Maybe I just get bored a lot.

I think some blogs I'm following are a bit bugged too D: I haven't been getting any updates from cindee's blog on my feed even though she's updated like 20 times in the last 4 months. Ughh stupid blogger javascripts.

Well I've just wasted 1o minutes. I think I'll go print out the stuff now and then head down to the art dept to bum around a bit... no I won't, I'll just sleep here. Sigh cbf doing work. I'm so over working already and not even graduated from high school. wow I'm going to have such a productive hardworking life.