some more sentence stories

...because I am, once again, bored. but not out of my pants (thanks laina).


Only one alien dramatically cleaned a secret chair. Every other alien cleaned the chairs quite naturally. It's unknown to me whether the dramatic alien was taking a theatre class during the time of chair-cleaning or if he was an impostor alien extremely untrained in theatrics. Nevertheless, he was a special alien (if he was in fact an alien at all) indeed. Ignoring this sentence generator's obvious lack of variety in its adjective pool, I suspect the 'secret' chair had hidden mechanisms that the other aliens didn't know about, which makes the dramatic alien so much more suspicious. Why would he be cleaning such a conspicuous chair? Or perhaps the chair itself was also an impostor!!! My mind had been blown. I pondered all the above with great austerity as I sat in the audience of the huge auditorium, holding my opera binoculars to my eyes and squinting at the stage as I remembered not to get too engrossed in the show; it was, after all, just an extremely warped musical performance of James Cameron's 'Aliens'.

Sometimes, the nerd angrily laughed at the electronic hair. Other times, the nerd angrily cried. The nerd's electronic hair had been a result of a physics experiment he'd done 3 months earlier. As part of his ongoing experiments, he had been wearing the same latex suit with rubber boots so as to keep the extra protons in his body. Nobody knew how he went to the toilet or took showers, but one would think that he had developed some kind of excretory flap system into the suit and installed a washing mechanism. He was obviously a very smart nerd. Nobody knew why he wanted to keep the extra protons in his body though, it made him look like a mad scientist. But perhaps that's what he wanted to achieve in the first place... when the nerd angrily cries at his electronic hair, it's because he feels isolated from the rest of society as they are so unwelcoming of his strange experiments. All he ever wanted was just a little love ): But at other times, he is able to look in the mirror and laugh angrily like the mad scientist he is, enjoying the self-satisfaction and reveling in the joy that it will only take him 2 more sessions of plastic surgery to become the absolute 21st century clone of Albert Einstein...

And so, the elephant angrily painted a confusing pile of biscuits. They were arranged in a huge variety of ways, making it hard for the elephant to paint their rugged sides and deliciously holey textures. The fact that its herbivorous peripheral vision completely dominated and distorted depth perception didn't really help with still life painting either. She could have been the best elephant painter in the world, the most soulful, as she swished the brush from side to side over the white canvas with delicate attention to detail... but she was angry, and it made her feel sick from the pits of her three stomachs, for she knew that she could never produce any artworks better than the anti-art of Marcel Duchamp, and even then she knew that his anti-art had more artistic value and meaning than her warped perceptions of confusing biscuits... The painting elephant threw down her brush with rage and stomped off, vowing to never paint again as it brought her so much depression. 9 months later some Dutch guy came along and found her painting of confusingly arranged biscuits, decided that it had been abandoned, took it home, painted around each biscuit to cover up his theft before slicing his ear off, labeling the plagiarized piece of art 'Sunflowers' and becoming a world famous artist.

I'm just joking about the last one btw, I'm sure Van Gogh was a very talented and moral guy who would never steal elephants' artworks.

1 comments:

YJ said...

HAHAHAH those were funny