Some backstory. Around about year 5, I went through this obsession with final fantasy. It was around the same time that x-2 came out. the funny thing is, despite this obsession, I never actually played it. The only ff game I have ever played is the original ff7, which I didn't actually play until about 2 years ago & I have not even finished. It's really strange that something that didn't really take up a huge part of my life can affect me so much, isn't it? At that time I knew all the main characters' names from VII to X, listened to the songs and at some point even started conversing to another friend who was as obsessed as me in Al Bhed. I drew a lot of fanart and read a lot of fanfiction... I remember distinctly going into EB games once and seeing the release manual for X-2 and wanting it so badly...
Wtf was wrong with me you ask? I don't know. I just remember it was somehow a big part of my life at some point. And watching that video just brought back all the memories and I felt something in my heart. I was watching it and thinking how most people have never heard of it. How most people will see it as just another video game. I wonder if playing it would have done that for me too? Final Fantasy is so much more than just that for me though. It represents a part of my childhood and is just special to me, for no particular reason or another that I can remember, even though I never even played it. Isn't that weird? Yeah, it means more to me than to people who have actually had it take up more of their lives.
And actually it's not just this song. It seems that most FF songs, whether it be instrumental or sung, just have that effect on me. They're just heartbreakingly beautiful. I really don't know any other way to describe them. I'm serious, my heart actually hurts when I listen to them. I never had this experience with feeling so strongly when listening to any piece of music before.
There is just some kind of ethereal quality to them. I remember at that time when I was obsessed with it it was just taking over my life. I don't remember it clearly either, which is maybe why it seems to be such a big deal in my head. If I think about it now, it's totally illogical. Life is set in reality, not in a video game. What made it so powerful for me? Perhaps my then still idealistic visions of life and love? Is that part of me still buried somewhere deep deep inside? Regardless, watching that video and listening to that song that is so sweetly familiar and yet so distant... my past was still able to brush against my heartstrings.
It's not often that I'm hit with a wave of nostalgia strong enough too feel like the wall of ignorance fell over my head. And I just find it somewhat interesting that it's this of all things, which was never a formal part of my life at all that had this effect. Like in its own story where in a last ditch effort to save their company, Square Enix poured all their resources into a game that would be their 'final fantasy' (and it was wildly successful and has spawned to this day over 12 sequels), the fantasy I had in my youth is seeming to go on after being pretty much forgotten for all these years. Despite how much I've grown and 'matured' (if you can consider it that?), something as simplistic as this video game that I have never even played can make me experience something so amazing.... the fantasy is obviously not over.
But then, perhaps it ought to stay that way? We all still need a little bit of idealism in our lives.
SO PRETTTYYYYY.......... square enix is amazing ):
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