English is a crazy language

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English is a crazy language
by Charlie Indelicato

Let's face it -- English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant
nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins
weren't invented in England or French fries in France. Sweetmeats are
candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.

We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that
quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is
neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't
groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the
plural of booth beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index,
2 indices?

Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you
comb through annals of history but not a single annal? If you have a bunch
of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preacher praught? If a vegetarian eats
vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, perhaps
you bote your tongue?

Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum
for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and
play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that
run and feet that smell? Park on driveways and drive on parkways?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and
wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while
quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell
one day and cold as hell another.

Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are
absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met a
sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who
was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where are all those
people who ARE spring chickens or who would ACTUALLY hurt a fly?

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house
can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out
and in which an alarm clock goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the
creativity of the human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That
is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are
out, they are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but
when I wind up this essay, I end it.

jamie / yb/ tians party

1 comments

it was a fun day c:
sucks that its monday tomorrow

im so tired D:

as I begin this blog...

5 comments

...I have nothing in mind to write about whatsoever. well... I'm feeling somewhat melancholy. had a pretty good dmc on msn a few minutes ago... Life is going really fast. Next year we will be 6th formers already. It's been over a decade since we started school as 5 year olds. I feel like a big chunk of my childhood is already missing somehow. When we look back to our childhoods and we feel the nostalgia, I somehow feel like I thought it would last forever. but it didn't; it's over now. I thought I told myself to stop thinking about the past and look to the future instead, but it's too hard because every minute that I spend thinking about the future becomes the past and it's another 60 seconds disappeared that I will never have again... even if it's something little, it makes me feel so, so sad. After all the future is full of uncertainties. If we spend our time thinking about what could be, we would never stop thinking, since there are too many possibilities. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my life away... but yet at the same time I have nothing else I want to be doing instead of this life I feel like I'm wasting... maybe I just don't want to grow up, don't want to move forward? I want to be able to enjoy myself forever like this. Sometimes I feel like I wouldn't mind freezing time, if it means I would stay forever in this world. I don't think I could ever get bored of life. My biggest regret when I die will be not being able to live to see the world move on... I'm going to feel like I'm missing so much. Like a movie that you leave in the middle of and never watch again, you will never stop wondering what happened. But we'll be dead, you say... we'll never know what became of the world we departed. But that doesn't change my feelings about how I would feel after my death if I was still conscious before I die... (did that make sense? I think I will have lost everybody by now...)

human emotions are so complex. the above sounds so emotional, so depressed but it's the truth about what I feel. It will never change. Yet I can still live on my life and not think about it, remaining rather content, but when it comes up, my mood changes immediately. but should I ignore what makes me sad even if it's part of who I am? is it better to be ignorant after all? there seems to be pros and cons for everything... making choices is getting harder and harder.

but in spite of all this some things are just heartwarming no matter what. (:

boredom = makeup?

8 comments


some things I learnt today in my boredom...
a) one should not try to wash off eye makeup without makeup remover, especially with soap. yes I am obviously a genius
b) mascara and eyeliner sucks to wash off
c) weenie fails at makeup

tbh I think i look better with my glasses on =.= notice dark rings around eyes less.. but you can hardly see the dif if I uploaded one with glasses since I'm still too scared to play around with blue/green eyeshadow lol so I stick to browns/reds/pinks

in addition to that >>; I'd like to ask peoples opinion about this dress:
it's a paula ryan long skirt that strunk in the wash so my mum gave it to me and I somehow got enough creativity to make it into this dress.. tbh I haven't done anything to it lol just pulled it up and added a belt. I'd have to add some padding for boobs (lmao) if I was going to make this and stretch it a bit cuz the lining is coming out the bottom (which you can't really tell in this picture) but I dunno... i kinda like how it hangs out but it's not really a good look if you know it's lining lol. if you don't know it's lining it just looks like 2 layer dress? what do you guys think =/ I might replace the belt with ribbon or whatever, something nice. the belt I'm using the photo above is a brown leather buckle one.

also my laptop battery is nearing the end of its life ): so I'm taking this opportunity to build a new computer. well, I hope so at least. this will also make me keep my desk tidy so all attention will be directed towards the shiny sexy looking new computer that I'm gonna build =P it'll be leet if I actually end up doing it. my dad agreed to help fund it for me IF I keep my room tidy lmao... talk about motivation

I'm not gonna think about ib or ncea til the summer holdiays I think. I need to get through my ncea exams without distractions so I can use the summer holidays to think things through clearly. right now I'll just go with the flow with doing ib and if I change my mind later I hope I'll still be able to at the beginning of next year when everyone's switching subjects and stuff.

I guess life's going okay actually =/ other than the huge amounts of homework lately (there hasn't been a single evening this term when I haven't had homework. it's insane.) sigh, term 3 sure is hectic.

my life is boring so I have nothing else to say hahahahahahaah.
zzz
=.=